I'm not sure if this is the sort of stuff the Moderater is saying I can't talk about but thought I'd try. I've been mildly depressed all my life. I've always had little flashes of thoughts of dieing. Like there is a bridge that I think of falling from everytime I drive over it. People have ask me if I'm suicidal b4 and I say no. We lost my brother to it so I know what it does. Then the other day I had a strange thought of starting a letter to my family in case I die. I decided not to because if they found it they might get scared. Is it normal to think of these things when we're sad do you think? I've heard it is our brains way of dealing with pain. I'm concerned for myself to the point that I want to talk but no where near the point of calling 911...
It sounds like you need to talk to a professional. Anytime the s-word comes up, it makes everyone walk on edge. I had the same issues a long time ago and i talked to my doctor. I wont tell you anything but to talk to professional.
They are not strange. A lot of people get suicidal ideation. I deal with it on a regular basis. The problem is when it goes to the next step where someone starts planning their demise. Do as the poster above say and see a medical professional.
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Death is fascinating, mainly because none of us will ever know what it's like (some who have used dimethyltryptamine might claim otherwise).
I've been depressed for a long time also, and I've had suicidal fantasies for a while, but they completely stopped after I told myself.
We are all going to die eventually, so until then, let me see what other options I have. Death is something you can do to yourself at any time.. and hell, it might occur 10 minutes from now.
This helped me put suicide/death 'aside' in my head and just focus on other things. I mean, who doesn't wish Earth just explodes and kills all of us instantly tomorrow? I just see these are dreams though, and nothing that will help me whatsoever.
It could be "intrusive thoughts". It's part of ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder) which is more anxiety-based. The repetitive thoughts are obsessions, and when the brain is working at its best, that kind of thought may show up, but the brain just kind of shoves it aside. But when our brains aren't working their best, like with depression, it seems to get stuck on the thought sometimes replaying it again and again. Does this sound like it fits at all? A number of the antidepressants are good at treating ocd/intrusive thoughts. AND it probably wouldn't hurt to talk with someone to process the loss of your brother, if you haven't. I'm so sorry.
(joe? no, nope, no wishes for Earth to just explode here)
I used to think suicidal thoughts when i was severly depressed a number of years ago. when nothing seemed to matter and i had lost all sense of direction. through help of a friend and my own efforts, i got out of depression bit by bit. its like the dark clouds were peeling themselves away one by one and more of the sun's rays can get through. the suicidal thoughts got replaced gradually by hopes.
its a slow process and i relapse into mild depression once in a while when there is a trigger circumstance, like the 911. the point is, you have to make effort to help yrself n not to indulge in the negative thoughts. thats the way to get out of the state, if you desire to.
Good Morning - doing a bit better today. Talked with a friend and he said a counselor once told him that these thoughts occur when the pain surpasses understanding. The brain then looks for something that would be more painful to try to comprehend the feeling. Crazy what goes on without our control isn't it
Ms***z - These thoughts don't happen often which is why I was concerned when they went as far as writing a letter. I don't think it is OCD but I'll talk to my counselor. I'm setting an appointment for next week.
Thank you Skykate for the info. I'm going to work on letting it go rather than figuring it out
I know I'm chiming in a bit late, but I just wanted to say that I've experienced these visions, too. It started when I went through a few bad events. I visualized myself drowning in a river. I started getting these mental pictures several times a day. When I drove by a body of water, it would start. I never had a concrete plan to commit suicide; I think I felt this way because I had such a hard time with dealing with my life, and water is so peaceful. My mom told me about a near-drowning experience she had as a teen. She was swimming and hit her head on something. She hit it so hard that she got into a kind of half-awake state - she could feel herself fading, but described it as a really peaceful feeling. Luckily, someone got to her in time. I always thought that that would be one of the best ways to die (not that I think about death a lot or want to test out that theory at all, but yes, we all have to do it someday).