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Old 12-15-2006, 02:10 PM   #1
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paulo95 HB User
Lost Everything...

I think I am currently going through depression and I am wondering if anyone can help me with the situation im in...

I think this began about a year ago when I split with my ex girlfriend which was a very traumatic time for me, since then I felt depression starting and it gradualy got worse as the days went by. However, even tho I felt pretty low at this time, I still felt as if I was able to control it, it wasnt consuming my whole life.

2 months ago, I lost my job and since then my depression has rocketed to an all time high. I am in an almost constant state of paranoia which has started to affect my relationships with my friends in a very bad way, I go out far less than I used to and I am unable to get any motivation to get a job or do anything productive through the day. I have completey fallen out with my brother (2years my junior) and am starting to lose my relationship with my parents aswell.

Due to not working I have no money whatsoever and am several hundred pounds in debt. I now wake up every morning dreading the day ahead and this is something that I have never experienced in my life before.

I DESPERATELY want to get myself out of this state but I feel that I have so many things stacked against me that I cant make any kind of start. As soon as I begin to make a bit of progress, something else holds me back.

If anyone can help me in ANY way, it would be much appreciated. Simply writing this down has been a weight off my mind

 
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Old 12-15-2006, 02:43 PM   #2
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Phazed HB User
Re: Lost Everything...

I'll try to help, I'm not sure I can because my depression is completely different to yours, but here it goes.

Depression is substantiated in your own mind by one thing and one thing alone; a cycle of thought. Being depressed means being locked in a continual cycle of feeling that you do not have empowerment over your own situation and each cycle of thought reinforces the already held conclusion that you cannot escape your situation.

No one wants to be depressed, I'd do anything not to be. But that doesnt mean that escaping it is easy, far from it. The problem I ran into is that I was trying to change myself too radically, too quickly. Start slowly and just do little things to improve your life, make small targets and try to stick to them. Don't wake up one day and say "right, from now on, I'm just going to completely be different", because thats unrealistic.

 
Old 12-15-2006, 03:40 PM   #3
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oceandreams HB User
Re: Lost Everything...

Very good advice, Phazed. Especially the part about taking it slowly and just making small changes. I get so frustrated, feeling like I'm not getting anywhere, but your words made me realize that I am expecting too many changes too quickly. I am getting better slowly (I think), so I need to just appreciate that there is SOME improvement.

paulo95, I hope things will start to get better for you soon. I know how you feel, it is so hard. Maybe talking with a counselor or therapist would help you.

Last edited by oceandreams; 12-15-2006 at 03:42 PM.

 
Old 12-15-2006, 03:50 PM   #4
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Phazed HB User
Re: Lost Everything...

Quote:
Originally Posted by oceandreams
Very good advice, Phazed. Especially the part about taking it slowly and just making small changes. I get so frustrated, feeling like I'm not getting anywhere, but your words made me realize that I am expecting too many changes too quickly. I am getting better slowly (I think), so I need to just appreciate that there is SOME improvement.

paulo95, I hope things will start to get better for you soon. I know how you feel, it is so hard. Maybe talking with a counselor or therapist would help you.
I only learnt the hard way.

 
Old 12-17-2006, 03:59 AM   #5
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skykate HB User
Re: Lost Everything...

Paulo, it can be overwhelming when all things seem to stack against you. feeling depressed in such a situation is understandable. be patient with yourself as you try to deal with it.

like what Phazed said, I think a good start will be to see in what areas you can do to improve your situation and make small improvements. use the little improvements to build up your self-esteem and confidence gradually. when we are depressed, our self-esteem suffers a massive blow and this creates a vicious cycle when bad begets bad. so you have to try and break out of it. it's a gradual process, but encourage yourself with each step taken and keep believing that things will get better.

try to find support too. i'm relatively new here, but i find this forum is great.
good luck !

 
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