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Old 12-20-2006, 03:59 AM   #1
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Posts: 239
jimmyhonda HB User
how do i get up when i fell down?

i need advice here. i feel like my life is a complete mess i just don't know what to do next or how to get up again.

why is it so comfortable for me to feel depress and yet so hard to feel happy?

I feel that i am where i am today because of depression, low self-esteem and self-consciousness. I mean, if i was young and never let a single depressive thought set into my mind, maybe today me wouldn't have strands of white hair or health problems too early like osteo-arthritis in my hips.

i lost this "energy" that was once inside of me that kept me moving. Now, I feel like a useless piece of junk...i never envisaged i would ended up this way. i wanted to get back on track in life but i feel ashamed and scared and confused to do so.

Last edited by jimmyhonda; 12-20-2006 at 04:00 AM.

 
Old 12-20-2006, 04:29 AM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: fl
Posts: 39
LampAway HB User
Re: how do i get up when i fell down?

I'm there with you.

My life for the past ten or eleven years has been a series of poor choices, all hell bent on destroying anything that I am or could be.
I have no friends, I've lost one of my children, due to trust. I've lost a lifetime of possesions, my faith in humanity, faith in friendship and worst of all faith in my ability to recover some sort of productive life.
For so long I have been trying to end myself that I'd forgotten all of the good that life has to offer (it must exist, if so many people want to cling to it so desperately)
Having tried and failed for the past year to help myself out of this hole, I am so descouraged that I've just about decided that I have no more to offer anyone than the crack ***** on the corner.
Logic says that that thinking is wrong, but it all that I see before me, and the only worth that I have been shown in the past to have.

Chin up Jimmy - White hair happens.

I also never envisiond myself ending up this way, Foolishly I thought that if your good person, good will come back to you. It was not that way for me.
No matter how hard I tried to help others out of bad situations or remove myself from a situation going bad, Good has yet to come.

Life is like that.

I've been going through the motions every day just hoping that the next one will be better.

Keep trying Jimmy.

Have you contacted a counselor?

 
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Old 12-20-2006, 05:50 AM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: how do i get up when i fell down?

Jimmy, so sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. Are you trying to work on your depression by yourself? I just read a different post of yours and you mentioned that money was tight this Christmas. This sounds like it could be a trigger for your deeper depression right now.

Last edited by Sannah; 12-20-2006 at 05:55 AM.

 
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