Re: Not sure this is the right board....
It sounds like you have a bit of panic/anxiety going on with that sad overwhelming feeling--the part about looking over a precipice and butterflies.
Depression and anxiety don't necessarily make sense. They don't choose people with lives that seem like anxiety and depression would fit--they visit everyone, nice families, nice homes, nice lives too.
Are you coming up to an anniversary related to loss? Or had a lot of stress lately? Or maybe one of those landmarks, like turning 30, 40, 50?