Have been experiencing some things recently - just wondered if anyone else has felt this way....
1. Sometimes I feel a deep "sadness" that seems to overwhelm me - that gut feeling like someone very close has just died.
2. At times the feeling is this gut "butterflies" that you get when you look over the edge of a precipice.
3. I notice that family stress seems to trigger these feelings.
My wife notices that something's wrong, but when she asks, I can only reply "nothing," because I really don't know how to describe it. And the whole thing really doesn't make sense - I'm in relatively good health, have a nice home, a great family.
Hi Oak, I would like to reverse the order of your list. It starts with a family stressor which then gives you the butterflies and then it turns to sadness because you do not deal with it, you just swallow it. I would guess that you hate conflict and confrontation. This fear causes the butterflies. If you do not deal with these intense feelings they turn to sadness. I get butterflies from confrontation too but I force myself to deal with things and then I feel better and I don't have to swallow my feelings. Did you learn in your family not to deal with issues?
It sounds like you have a bit of panic/anxiety going on with that sad overwhelming feeling--the part about looking over a precipice and butterflies.
Depression and anxiety don't necessarily make sense. They don't choose people with lives that seem like anxiety and depression would fit--they visit everyone, nice families, nice homes, nice lives too.
Are you coming up to an anniversary related to loss? Or had a lot of stress lately? Or maybe one of those landmarks, like turning 30, 40, 50?
Thank you all for your feedback. Much of what you have said has made sense - Sannah, putting things in reverse order works, although I'm yet to find a solution. But you're right, I swallow a lot. My job puts me in a position of facing demands that create stress, and home sometimes seems like a powder keg. I see no option of changing either within the next 20 years. But it has me thinking of ways to handle it all without internalizing everything.
No, I don't know of any depression issues that run in my family. And no stressful anniversaries on the horizon. This should be something I can handle. I really have very little to complain about- there are so many that are so much worse off than me.
But it has me thinking of ways to handle it all without internalizing everything.
Oak, this is your solution! Sometimes there are stressors that you have no control over, like your job, but you can be aware and try to manage the stress. Realizing that you can stay calm in these types of stressful situations can help (have you ever tried yoga?). As for home, discussing issues with your wife can help immensely in getting you to not internalize your feelings. You can learn a different way of behaving so that your life can be very happy! You just have to be aware of your feelings in ALL situations and be willing to do what you need to do to feel better. Good luck to you and I will keep an eye out for your postings.