Hi my name is Jane and i have depression. I have 3 children, the youngest is 9 months and i suffered with bad PND with the other 2 children so it was inevitable that this was going to happen. Since my baby was born my relationship has been very rocky, particularlly in the first 3 months and we spent more time apart than together. He didnt understand how i felt and didnt show me any support. I have felt low for a long time and thought i could work through it myself, but over xmas i have hit rock bottom. I have a lot of anger inside me, and im finding myself either smashing things up or crying all the time. On boxing day i snapped and ended up smashing the bedroom up and beating my partner. I really didnt mean to do it and deeply regret it, but i cant control myself when i get like that. He has now left, i cant blame him for that.. he has had enough of my outbursts, but if he would have supported me from the start, i dont think i would have got like this. I went to the gp yesterday and told him everything, and he has given me 2 lots of meds, fluoxetine and chlorpromazine. I am also going seeing a councillor. I just want to feel human again instead of this monster that ive turned into. I have never felt this way before, even with the last time which i suffered from bad anxiety and panic attacks and didnt leave the house for 2 years... i feel so much worse now. I feel all alone in this world now and im hoping that some people here may be able to help me to get back to my usual happy self.
sorry for such a long post.. thanks for reading
I also had PND, and that anger seems to be part of it. Being sleep deprived from being a new mom just adds to it.
Is this the first time you've gotten an antidepressant for this? It can make a huge difference. It won't make all your problems go away, but you'll start to feel more like yourself again and be able to cope more easily.
England is supposed to have quite a bit of support for mothers with PND. Is there a support group near you perhaps? Online here is good as well, as you can "talk" to people anytime you have a moment vs. dragging the kids out somewhere with you. I don't know if the home visiting kind of nurses there only come if you are considered "at risk" as they seem to be over here, but they can be a source of support as well.