I have seen many so-called experts throughout the years, trying to find some answers for this sad state. As the designated "date" of our encounter approaches, it's much like the mixed emotions of excitement and dread that one may have before going out on a blind date. Sometimes I think that the actual meeting becomes redundant. My complete fog of despair has been lifted by the anticipation of the appointment. I made the appointment--maybe that act in itself gave me a lifesaver of hope to dig myself out of the black hole.
I have repeated my sad story for many strangers. They took careful notes. I did most, if not all, of the talking. I opened my heart, I cried, I ranted, I put my soul on display. My incessent navel-gazing sometimes was tiring. Just once, I wanted to hear their own personal sad stories, but this never happens. It would destroy the illusion of wisdom and stability that one must project to the huddled mess that is me, preserving the perception of authority and my indecision and my direction-less confusion. OK, I accept the rules of conduct, otherwise I am wasting my money. My time is inconsequential, their time is important and valuable. Sobeit, although temporarily.
The best advice I have bought has come from a Naturopathic doctor who sent me off with a plan to get my body healthy. Supplements. Herbals, homeopathic stuff, exercise. Although she wrongly recommended that I watch funny movies--even gave me a list. That was the only stupid advice, because funny is pretty much an individual taste. Her movie list stank. But the other things did work, slowly, less time than an AD takes.
That's my take on blind dates.
I wanted to hear their own personal sad stories, but this never happens. It would destroy the illusion of wisdom and stability that one must project to the huddled mess that is me, preserving the perception of authority and my indecision and my direction-less confusion.
Yes, wouldn't it be nice just ONCE IN A WHILE if someone said, "I understand--I went through a very similar experience. It really was difficult (or whatever)."
But if they do then the client feels like they can't really tell all sometimes. It's like one then has to "take care of" the therapist. I haven't had this happen but a (very) few mom-friends have mentioned this kind of thing. Mostly what they've said about it is something along the lines of "hey, it's my money--listen to ME--go get your own therapist." Also, I think it depends on the branch of therapy. Some are absolutely adamant about not sharing any personal information, while others are less strident. Maybe you'll find one of those sometime soon.
Bloodyhell, maybe what you hate about the therapist/client relationship is that boundary that the therapist puts between herself and you. You want/need her to be a friend and she cannot be. Do you have an issue about people being in authority or being experts? If you could get past what it is about this that is bothering you maybe you could benefit from the therapy then?
Find a person you hit off with are very difficult and not for everybody. My husband change may be 10 and found one he is comfortable with. He knew her from a temple, it wasn't a blind date. I dislike a lot of her influence on him like discouraging him having a baby or bringing issues he could easily discuss and solve with me. He found her useful in discussing his work cituations though.
I had 2 unsuccessful attempts and gave up for now. Both time people were twice older and from different culture. It could be part of the reason. They were acting as parental figures, sharing personal problems, complaining about finance, even shouting and insulting.
I am now have few recommendations but still not ready to go and also stressed for time.