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Old 01-02-2007, 06:23 PM   #1
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Question can anyone relate?

well, its a new year....should be happy we made it this far. but i'm not. new years eve was hard. i was depressed and crying that night. i had lost my dad 7 years ago on the 30th of dec so this time of year is very hard....sad...


i was irratated today. mostly at this cashier who was pushing me out of the way when i told her i was moving. man, people just can't wait for anything. always in a hurry.

i was going to write some words but now dont' feel like it. i just want to run away from life. from all this stuff going on in me. i dont' understand life anymore. i dont' understand what is happening to me half the time. i never used to be like this. i was always into doing things, enjoying things. ~~sigh~~but now its a struggle to do simple things and enjoy doing it. i know when i get tired i get worse. i didnt' used to be like that either. when i was tired i was tired. that was it. not crying my eyes out cause i was tired. i'm just totally exhaused with dealing with depression. i trying to put on a happy face but inside half ...if not most... of the time i feel like this...

well, i'm trying that is all i can do. my counselor thinks i'm doing well. i signed up for an art class. starts monday. that should be fun. i always wanted to take an art class. learn to paint. so we'll see how it goes. i'm just tired as usuall. thanks for reading. i can think of a few friends i can write to but i dont' want to burden them right now. so thought i would post some words here. at least here we all understand this depression stuff. better go to bed an try an sleep thanks for reading.....

 
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Old 01-02-2007, 11:18 PM   #2
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Re: can anyone relate?

Awww. *hugs*. Ya. Well I never been depressed. Sometimes, I used to feel sad though. And even sometimes still do. Well but it's not as bad as before. It was cause of lonliness and me not liking a part of my body. I still don't like that part of me but I don't get lonley at the moment anymore. I got a b/f who hopfully cares about me and respects me. He says he does which is great, but I hope he continues to and can show more of it in the fucher if we make it far enough. I am in college part time so I do courses I like or try ones I think I might like. Thats good that you signed up for an art class. It's a great start. Hope you enjoy it.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 06:02 AM   #3
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Re: can anyone relate?

Hi Mokie, I was wondering how you have been doing. Saw you answer a post once last week so I saw that you were still hanging around a bit. Sounds to me like this is just a TEMPORARY set back because of the anniversary of your father's death. You were making progress, don't forget that! I am glad that you have signed up for the art class, let us know how you like it. As for your energy, are you eating healthy food and exercising?

 
Old 01-03-2007, 07:37 AM   #4
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Re: can anyone relate?

Sounds like you are doing good I know it's the crap dealing/living with depression...but ya know....I keep telling myself...no matter how bad it is...there is a Light at the end of the tunnel. I"ve been thru enough cycles..that I know this. Things always get better....pick up. Sounds like you are on the right track. Sometimes it takes effort....but it's well worth it.

And yeah...aren't people rude these days!! Someone was standing in the middle of the door way yesterday yapping on a phone...I said "excuse me" twice...second time a bit loud...and they looked at me like I just cost them the Publishers Clearinghouse check....geez....

 
Old 01-03-2007, 08:02 AM   #5
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Re: can anyone relate?

Hi Mokie
I know....the holidays are bad for a lot of people. My dad died 6 years ago in december too. I just found out that my first boyfriend from over 30 years ago is dead. I thought I'd look him up on the internet and call him just to see how he is, how his life is going, etc. I located him in Florida and called and got his mom and she told me he was murdered in 1998. WOW talk about a shock, and I have no one to blame but me......I went looking for this information, I guess. That threw me for a loop right before Christmas and it's still been on my mind. I hope we can all find some peace and tranquility in 2007. I know 2006 wasn't really a great year for a lot of us, you know I lost my 14 yr old pug Junior in March. Hang in there Mokie, I was thinking about you, looking for some posts.
I also have been very tired lately, and this cough/chest congestion has been hanging on for about a month now. I am trying to get in bed earlier and it really seems to help physically and emotionally. If you're tired, go to bed! You will feel better in the morning.....don't fight it. If we are tired, our bodies are telling us we need rest.....
Don't worry about burdening your friends......friends should support us, and if not, you've always got us! Hang in there! Things will get better.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 06:20 PM   #6
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Re: can anyone relate?

Hi. thanks everyone who replied! nice to hear from a couple people. i'm still here. i read the posts i just dont' always reply or post messages. i try to read and respond to ones i hope to be of some help with. dont' know if i ever am. i am glad oct through dec is OVER. those are my toughest months. oct i lost my cat, nov i lost my mom and dec i lost my dad. different years but still...i dont like those months anymore.

ya better go to bed or at least go lay down. i do walk alot. try to daily with my dogs and try to eat right but you know how holidays are...all that food going around! chocolate is my fave. :0)

 
Old 01-03-2007, 06:21 PM   #7
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Re: can anyone relate?

Hi. thanks everyone who replied! nice to hear from a couple people. i'm still here. i read the posts i just dont' always reply or post messages. i try to read and respond to ones i hope to be of some help with. dont' know if i ever am. i am glad oct through dec is OVER. those are my toughest months. oct i lost my cat, nov i lost my mom and dec i lost my dad. different years but still...i dont like those months anymore.

ya better go to bed or at least go lay down. i do walk alot. try to daily with my dogs and try to eat right but you know how holidays are...all that food going around! chocolate is my fave. :0)

 
Old 01-04-2007, 02:56 AM   #8
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Re: can anyone relate?

I can relate 100%. Over the past 10 years or so, I have spent xmas day and new years day in tears, because of the *past*.
This year I was determined not to cry and I didn't. Believe me it was a major achievement for me. Depession is a long, hard journey. Sometimes just posting how I feel unburdens the load. The older I get, the more 'memorable dates', (re death) I acquire. It would have been my dad's dirthday on new years eve, mum also died 2 years ago, plus other stuff I'm dealing with. You deserve happiness. I hope you find it soon. Good luck.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 06:17 AM   #9
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Unhappy Re: can anyone relate?

i can relate to you, i don't no what's happening to me half the time either.
i used to be very active, the life and sole of parties, now i don't go out and have very little social life. i am very good and masking my emotions and only my imediate family know that i suffer from depression.
i would do anything to have my old life back before depression griped me. i see no end

 
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