well, its a new year....should be happy we made it this far.
but i'm not. new years eve was hard. i was depressed and crying that night. i had lost my dad 7 years ago on the 30th of dec so this time of year is very hard....sad...
i was irratated today. mostly at this cashier who was pushing me out of the way when i told her i was moving.
man, people just can't wait for anything. always in a hurry.
i was going to write some words but now dont' feel like it. i just want to run away from life. from all this stuff going on in me. i dont' understand life anymore. i dont' understand what is happening to me half the time. i never used to be like this. i was always into doing things, enjoying things. ~~sigh~~but now its a struggle to do simple things and enjoy doing it. i know when i get tired i get worse. i didnt' used to be like that either. when i was tired i was tired. that was it. not crying my eyes out cause i was tired. i'm just totally exhaused with dealing with depression. i trying to put on a happy face
but inside half ...if not most... of the time i feel like this...
well, i'm trying that is all i can do.
my counselor thinks i'm doing well. i signed up for an art class. starts monday. that should be fun. i always wanted to take an art class. learn to paint.
so we'll see how it goes. i'm just tired as usuall. thanks for reading. i can think of a few friends i can write to but i dont' want to burden them right now. so thought i would post some words here. at least here we all understand this depression stuff. better go to bed an try an sleep
thanks for reading.....