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Old 01-02-2007, 06:26 PM   #1
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Empty (Please help)

I'm 25. I look like I'm 14. I have one friend (who I almost never speak to), no girlfriend (never had one), no job (only had 1 in my life), acne and I'm losing my hair. All of these things combined has made me feel completely depressed. I'm trying to exercise hoping that will in some way increase my testosterone and help me lose weight and maybe it will help me grow facial hair to make me look older. Chances are slim but I'm desperate. Every year goes by and I do nothing with my life and I'm too afraid to interact with people because of how they will perceive me and how awkward I will be around other people. I know people will just say, "who cares what people think." That's what my father says. But when you're me you can't help but feel that way. Looking so young for my age is my worst problem. I don't look young the way other people do and it's no big deal. I look too young. I'm sure people notice this when I drive. I'm sure people notice I'm balding. I just hate living in my own skin and there's nothing I can do about it and I've wasted so much time already. I got a feeling I know what people will tell me but I could use the advice anyway. Thank you.

 
Old 01-02-2007, 10:30 PM   #2
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Re: Empty (Please help)

Awww. *hugs*. I'm sorry you feel that way. If this will make you feel any better, I don't like the size of my breasts. I feel there too small. And ok, overall I'm small for my age too. I'm 21 and look like 15 or 16. My sister is 18. She looks like 20. Older than me with the boobs and everything. I feel like I have nothing alot of times. I could get implants if I wanted, but won't cause I don't want those. What's the point when it's just plastic anyway? Aside from healt risks. But ya. And I got a b/f. I do wonder what he's going to think of me if he sees my bare boobs one day or me completely naked. Course I think I'd have to get comfy in my own skin first before thinking about getting intimate with someone. But um ya. I'm also thinking of getting councelling about it but ah well. So you have no friends you can talk to? Are you in college or uni? Have you tried thinking of atleast 1 thing that you do like about yourself?

 
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Old 01-03-2007, 04:56 AM   #3
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

Rick (and Baby) when you are 50 and you look 35 you will finally get to benefit from this! Rick, you have to find some strength in yourself and take back from others the power that you have given them concerning how you feel about yourself. Basically, what you have done is "Hey people, here take this, I am giving you the power to make me feel bad about myself." Don't be a victim here - take control! Looking younger than you are is not the end of the world. I am a "big boned" female, I have coarse curly hair. I would love to be beautiful but I am not. I have a husband who loves me for me. I am not going to waste my life wishing for something that will never come. You have to take what you have and make a life. The chance for a happy life is in YOUR HANDS.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 12:31 PM   #4
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Survivor3 HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick576
I'm 25. I look like I'm 14. I have one friend (who I almost never speak to), no girlfriend (never had one), no job (only had 1 in my life), acne and I'm losing my hair. All of these things combined has made me feel completely depressed. I'm trying to exercise hoping that will in some way increase my testosterone and help me lose weight and maybe it will help me grow facial hair to make me look older. Chances are slim but I'm desperate. Every year goes by and I do nothing with my life and I'm too afraid to interact with people because of how they will perceive me and how awkward I will be around other people. I know people will just say, "who cares what people think." That's what my father says. But when you're me you can't help but feel that way. Looking so young for my age is my worst problem. I don't look young the way other people do and it's no big deal. I look too young. I'm sure people notice this when I drive. I'm sure people notice I'm balding. I just hate living in my own skin and there's nothing I can do about it and I've wasted so much time already. I got a feeling I know what people will tell me but I could use the advice anyway. Thank you.
I'm in the same boat. People tell me all the time how young I look. I decided to view this as positive. Some day I imagine being thankful for it. Facial hair isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 
Old 01-03-2007, 07:04 PM   #5
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Re: Empty (Please help)

Thanks for the advice. I don't care about being 50 and looking 35 though. I don't want to have to wait 25 years for the advantages to kick in, which in reality is no big deal. I would just love to look normal. Probably never going to happen though.

 
Old 01-04-2007, 04:42 AM   #6
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Re: Empty (Please help)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick576
I would just love to look normal. Probably never going to happen though.
So maybe stop wishing for what might never happen and work on acceptance?

 
Old 01-06-2007, 11:53 AM   #7
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Seymour93 HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick576
Thanks for the advice. I don't care about being 50 and looking 35 though. I don't want to have to wait 25 years for the advantages to kick in, which in reality is no big deal. I would just love to look normal. Probably never going to happen though.
Personally I believe the age advantage kicks in at 30. Women like youth!!

 
Old 01-07-2007, 12:00 AM   #8
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Re: Empty (Please help)

Thanks, unfortunately I have nothing to offer nobody. I just needed to hear the advice.

 
Old 01-07-2007, 02:31 AM   #9
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Re: Empty (Please help)

i understand how it feels for a guy losing his hair...my hair started thinning out since i started uni and i hate windy days especially when the wind blows my hair revealing a large gappy forehead.
I had to shower every day to give my hair some "body" or else my hair will be dry and lifeless.

You got to trust me with this...it wasn't until last year, I started to shaved my hair - u know the hair-style that army soldiers have - spiky and even.
At first i was scared of the out come of shaving my hair, but having looked at celebrities like Wentworth Miller and Channing Tatum who shaved their hair, i decided to give it a try. I didn't shave it skin-deep it would look dread-ful. I decided to leave some spikes and even.
I was happy that i did it. I wasn't use to it in the first week, but gradually my hair grew out spiky which I always wanted it that way. It's not lifeless anymore now...and i don't have to worry about the wind problem. Ask the hairdresser to leave your side-burn "natural" not straight.

........................................ .....................

You said that u are 25 yrs old. When I was 25 yrs old back then, I felt "old"...I don't know what made me think this way maybe because I couldn't afford clothes at that time, and would always dressed in grey and black which made me look "old". Now I'm 30 yrs old and i feel "young" again. The only problem was, if only I felt this way earlier I would be more happy today.
So cheerish your youth you got now...because time flies very quickly when u do nothing. Do something. U say u have acne problem. Then ACT! And you say u look young...well, have u though of going to the gym and swimming? Set goals and stick to them. Every day i would go swimming in the hope of building up muscles to attract females. If u don't do something...u won't see any improvements. It's like going to school, if u don't go to school u wouldn't have learned something. So start your goals now!

----------------------------

Acceptance is a very hard thing to do. Instead of thinking of "acceptance"..u need to make a "change" to your life.
I still suffer from depression so I am no expert here, but lately I have been making "changes" to my life in the hope for the best. Changes that I never have done in the past like going to swimming. I am glad i did it because it helped with my arthritis problems.
Other changes like shaving my hair and changing a different hair-dresser.
Another change like, spending few money on clothes. The type of clothes can reveal how old you look. Take a look at the 60's and compare to nowdays. In the olden days, the hair-style was so horrendoeous, but to them, it's consider to be beautiful.

Last edited by jimmyhonda; 01-07-2007 at 02:40 AM.

 
Old 01-07-2007, 11:36 AM   #10
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tonyaury HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

i feel for your sufferring- i know its not easy but your doing the right thing exercising and all. soon you will start feeling better in your own skin just keep doing the things you need to do on a daily basis and leave the rest to God.
we'll get through this pain together.
tony

 
Old 01-07-2007, 01:34 PM   #11
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Rick576 HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

Thanks everybody. I'm almost a week into a joggin routine. I'm eating healthy. I have no choice but to make some improvements. I truly believe if I could grow a beard, 80% of my problems would disappear. Just have to wait and see.

 
Old 01-08-2007, 06:12 AM   #12
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Re: Empty (Please help)

Rick, sounds like a great plan. You attitude has taken a 180 (or is the saying a 360?)!

 
Old 01-08-2007, 10:00 AM   #13
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Seymour93 HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick576
I truly believe if I could grow a beard, 80% of my problems would disappear. Just have to wait and see.
No disrespect, but maybe you are looking in the wrong direction.

 
Old 01-08-2007, 11:06 AM   #14
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Re: Empty (Please help)

I would love to look young. But I I guess the point of view from a guy is diff. I guess its your looks that makes you care about what others say/think about you. Which also decreases your self-esteem. I think the first thing is to improve your looks. You say you're becoming bald & w/ acne. Did you see a DR?? Have you thought about shaving all of your hair(its in style right now). Wearing a wig?? For acne did you try Microderbrasion, ance cream like 10% Persal Gel(that is if your not allergic to Benzol Peroxide) Get a job (keeping yourself busy & earning money helps beauty costs and to feel more useful). As for the fat part, running WILL REDUCE fat. Do you eat a lot or that your lying to yourself about how much you eat. I understand about being shy and afaird of people. Because you feel that everybody is better than you, you care a whole about what others think/feel/say/respond to you when you walk in an enviroment filled w/ people. Anyway, I would love to help you!!!! Nobody really understands how it feels to be afaird of people. They will just call you weird, crazy, why be scare they are not going to eat you, and blah blah blah

 
Old 01-09-2007, 07:22 AM   #15
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Breezes HB User
Re: Empty (Please help)

In addition to exercise, I'd suggest seeing a counselor. They offer a nice combination of support and a willingness to help people work on their stuff. One of the benefits of counseling is their feedback. They can help you focus on your good qualities.

 
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