You said you are living in the past...that seems very insightful for anyone, maybe especially someone as young as you are.
I was also in the psych ward, for 2 weeks, but I was in my 30's at the time. It was
scary! The "therapy" in my psych ward was minimal. The good thing about the place for me was getting on medication that I desperately needed, apparently. After 10 years I thought I was pretty okay with that experience. Then I had a mom friend who went through very similar things to what I had. It brought back a flood of emtions and I took myself to a therapist. I never realized until I told her about all the things I experienced there that, although I'd talked about it online, I'd never voiced the words to anyone face to face. "Coincidentally" not long after talking about it with her I was in a situation to be able to back to that psych ward, as a non-patient. I walked through the double doors I had snuck through to take a tour of the rest of the hospital unnoticed. I saw the first room I stayed in. I saw the locked-locked side of the ward I stayed in one night for "misbehavior"
I saw the ledges I stood on on the inside of the window the first time I talked to my psychiatrist--they've put planter boxes on them so no one can stand on them anymore. The sun was streaming in the windows... A lot of ghosts went away for me that day. The time was finally right.
While I was locked in there (the first time) one of the girls there said she filed a complaint about her last stay and that that empowered her quite a bit. She was actually glad to be there (which I could not
understand at the time).
For you, it hasn't been a year yet. In some ways it's like post traumatic stress disorder as it seems like you are reliving the experience/nightmare daily. You may feel these things more intensely as the anniversary week approaches--not to put ideas in your head, but to let you know ahead of time so you can talk to your therapist about it and prepare in other ways. It was traumatic to be in there, especially when you were 19 or 20, probably the scariest thing you've ever been through?
Plus, possibly you were at the most depressed you've ever been? It takes a while to heal emotionally. It sounds like you've done quite a bit of healing already, and probably have made some headway with the hospital stay as well--you're here looking for ideas and suggestion; reaching out. That can be a big step. Way to go.