hello, I have a few questions, My boyfriends mother has serious depression and he is grieving for her, the other night he told me he feels like she's been dead for the last 5 years. She does not work, or do anything, she hardly ever gets out of bed and this past week she has been checked into a mental rehab hospital, she has other issues as well as depression. My boyfriend says its the same thing every time she goes to the hospital she'll come home and be out and about for a few days then she's back in bed with deep depression. He does not live with her he is 21 and supports himself and goes to college. He feels guilty that he left her and angry that she is the way she is, he feels like she just gave up on life and left him to fend for himself, his father is not in the picture either, and his poor 12yr old sister has had to pretty much raise herself. Do you think anything can help her? My boyfriend and I plan on getting married in a year when we graduate college and he wants his sister to come live with us, which I don't mind at all, but I don't know if thats whats best for her, she needs her mother doesn't she? He says his mother is never going to get better. I have no idea what to do or say about this, I've never had a family member with depression I come from a large, loving happy family and this is all so forign to me, I don't know how to help him. thanks for reading sorry it's so long
There is always hope for depression the problem is finding something that can work long term. Your boyfriend should be supportive towards his mother but at the same time he needs to live his own life. The best thing for a twelve year old is a stable, loving enviroment.
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
thanks, I really hope his mother can get better. My biggest concern is taking his sister in, she is a lovely girl it is not that I don't want her, but at her age I really needed my mother to teach me how to be a woman and help me sort out all those teen issues, I can help her with alot of that stuff but Im more of a big sister to her and nothing can replace a mother. I know her mother loves her very much but its hard because she can't do simple things like take her to softball practice or go shopping for a dress for her school dance. Then there is also the fact that at her mothers house she is almost completely unsupervised, she's been very responsible, but then again those teen years are coming she is going to get in some trouble with out anyone keeping a close eye on her. I really think her mother needs to be a bit more involved in her life now and I hope she can. It's just not a easy call to make.
the same thing every time she goes to the hospital she'll come home and be out and about for a few days then she's back in bed with deep depression.
someone should periodically visit her to ensure she's taking her medicine as prescribed, and/or going to her counseling sessions, if these were recommended. sounds like she could really benefit from talking to someone, since she seems so lonely. maybe having her involved in a group that deals with some topic she is interested in or may enjoy (i.e., crocheting? reading and discussing books, being part in her religious affiliation as an active member, etc..--just some ideas here). staying inside the whole time would make anyone MORE depressed and miserable, no matter what. i guess us, humans weren't meant to be "lone" rangers...
good luck and God bless!
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
I was curious about why she is not reciving counseling, the hospital she goes to just gives her new drugs but they never refer her to a councelor, I don't think its my place to tell her to get counceling but maybe if my boyfriend encouraged her she would, thank you guys for the advice I really aperciate it