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Old 04-01-2007, 11:44 AM   #1
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Living for today?

I know the best thing I can do for my anxiety is life for the present. When i think of the future I usually twist it and get myself even more worked up. My problem is I think i am only living for the present. Nothing really to look forward to. This gets me sad and anxious which of course makes it all worse. I feel like i am just living today to get thru till tomorrow, with no happiness in sight. Even when i have something to look forward to, up until that moment happens I feel like i am just living to live. Nothing else. When those happy moments come i relish them, but when they are done i usually crash hard. Like today. I had family in yesterday and was for the most part happy, which is rare lately. But they left today and here i am all alone and sad and anxious. Then i think of tomorrow and all i can do is think about how much that sucks and that i have to deal with seeing my ex everyday at work. Then i get off work and the cycle repeats. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut of sadness and anxiety.

How do I live for today when tomorrow seems so blah and potential sadness and anxiouty?

 
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Old 04-01-2007, 03:53 PM   #2
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Re: Living for today?

sorry you sound so down. living for today does not mean not thinking about your future. it means do what you need to do today to get the best out of your future. but don't worry about it. that is hard to do if you don't feel that you have much of a future. if you could find the energy to get out and do something new. take a class, learn a hobby, volunteer. something that gets you out of yourself. maybe if you have something to look forward to a couple times a week, you wouldn't feel so bad the rest of it. hope you find an answer to this. God bless

 
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Old 04-02-2007, 06:02 AM   #3
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Re: Living for today?

I ended up going next door to talk to the neighbors. They are an older couple with kids, so i had never thought of them as ppl to talk to. I ended up talking to the mom over there and actually went running with her last nt. It wasn't much but getting out and having conv helped. We should be going regularly hopefully. Hopefully that will help with sleeping and anxiety.

She suggested that i come with her to her church and see if I like it there. I might go try that. If nothing else just to feel part of something. She also does softball and said i was more then welcome to come to those games, so i will prob try that as well. It is a church softball league so the ages very. Who knows maybe i can meet some ppl my age.

I just need something to look forward to cause otherwise it is hard to just focus on the present and not let my mind wonder and start with anxiety on the future.

 
Old 04-02-2007, 06:09 AM   #4
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Re: Living for today?

i know how you feel, chaos. that seems to be my problem at the moment, too.
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Old 04-02-2007, 08:13 AM   #5
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Re: Living for today?

Hi Chaos, this is one of my favorite subjects. I would think that you just haven't filled your life up enough with things that you enjoy. I like to have something to look forward to too and when I have something coming up that I am not looking forward to it can take over my mood. What work have you done on your anxiety besides this excellent staying in the moment stuff?

 
Old 04-02-2007, 08:34 AM   #6
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Re: Living for today?

Well, living in the moment is one of my big things, cause a lot of depression and anxiety i get is from over thinking or making stuff up regarding the future and events. I will usually make the future much worse in my head. Such as yesterday was a very down day for me and I just had cabin fever and felt like i was just finishing that day to start an even worse day today.

I am seeing a therapist (been 3 times so far) and see her once a week though if I had my option i would see even more heh. It seems to help, esp for that moment and when it is done i immed want to schedule another. I have an apt to see the doc next week so i can get checked out and see if any meds are needed or can help with my depression, anxiety and sleep. I'm trying to keep a journal to get my thoughts on paper, but I'm not sure if it is doing any good or not. It's so hard to put feelings and thoughts onto paper. I picked up 2 books by Albert Ellis. One on anxiety and one on self esteem. I've been reading those off and on. Sort of picking chapters that seemed to relate to me and my problems. Really trying to find stuff to re-focus my mind and not focus on the bad stuff or the stuff my mind makes up when they pop up.

I def need more stuff to fill my time. My worst times are my free times. I have been going up the parents the past few weekends, but i feel like i maybe imposing them. I also feel like i may be running away from problems and i not want to do that. I want to get into some groups or clubs or something to meet some new ppl and do stuff, but i have 0 idea where to look and find these things for my area. Any suggestions? I feel like I'm starting over since most of the friends i hung out with were due to the relationship with the ex. This just adds to everything cause i feel all alone.

Last edited by ChaosAD; 04-02-2007 at 08:36 AM.

 
Old 04-02-2007, 08:46 AM   #7
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Re: Living for today?

Chaos, I am so glad that you like therapy. I always liked therapy too. You are really going to go far! I recovered from anxiety too. What a beast! One thing that helped me work through my issues was to pay attention to any interactions with others which distressed me. I took these to my therapist to analyze and figure out what was going on.

What are your interests? I think that when you have anxiety that it takes up a lot of your time/thoughts and when you start working on it you then realize that you "don't have a life".

 
Old 04-02-2007, 09:39 AM   #8
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Re: Living for today?

My last session I took in a bunch of questions and asked my therapist. I'm getting better at bringing stuff up instead of just sitting there and letting her try and figure stuff out. I hope to set up another session soon as it seems i just can't get enough right now heh.

As for my likes, I used to love video games, but recently they have lost all interest for me. Basically, since I've been dealing with this dep/anxiety (about 3 months). I only wish I stopped playing so much before as it ate up some of my free time i would have rather spent with the gf. I do like sports, reading, technology, movies and music. I've just never looked for groups and such have no idea where to look to see about joining them. I def would look forward to meeting new people and getting back out there more instead of letting these events bring me down.

It is weird though cause before all this I relished my alone time and now i try and get as very little alone time as i possible can.

 
Old 04-02-2007, 10:25 AM   #9
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Re: Living for today?

Chaos, you are making so much sense to me. You used to want to be alone and now you don't! This is why you don't enjoy the video games anymore. You must be making progress on your anxiety so now you want to be with others. This is just like what I said previously about the anxiety taking up so much of your time and when you start to recover then you realize that you don't have a life.

For your interests, there are book clubs, concerts (especially outdoor concerts in the summer!), playing sports, etc?

 
Old 04-02-2007, 11:00 AM   #10
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Re: Living for today?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Chaos, you are making so much sense to me. You used to want to be alone and now you don't! This is why you don't enjoy the video games anymore. You must be making progress on your anxiety so now you want to be with others. This is just like what I said previously about the anxiety taking up so much of your time and when you start to recover then you realize that you don't have a life.

For your interests, there are book clubs, concerts (especially outdoor concerts in the summer!), playing sports, etc?
I'm not sure how to go about finding anything like book clubs etc. Never have tried in my life so i feel kind of dumb cause i don't know how to search them out. The concerts I can find though for sure.

At times I get stressed about always wanting to be doing something. So it is kind of a double edged sword. I worry about worrying to be around ppl. Like i shoudl take some time and be jsut by myself and deal with things. Damn vicious circle.

 
Old 04-03-2007, 07:25 AM   #11
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Re: Living for today?

Sannah,

Do you have any suggestions on how to find groups like a book club for example? I have tried a few avenues like internet searches and asked around but I'm not sure exactly how to look. I would love to join some stuff but no idea how to even begin searching them out.

The past 2 nts I have gone running with my neighbor. It has been nice to relax me and take my thoughts away from stuff for hr if nothing else. It may not seem like a lot but it is at least a start. Her church does softball games which start next week so I'm going to try and go there and watch and possibly meet some new ppl.

 
Old 04-03-2007, 08:03 AM   #12
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Re: Living for today?

Hey Chaos, how about calling a book store?

 
Old 04-03-2007, 08:09 AM   #13
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Re: Living for today?

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Hey Chaos, how about calling a book store?
Duh heh, yes that will work for the example heh. So I would just call them up and be like 'do you know where to sign up for book clubs'?

Guess I'm just trying to figure out how to find groups of my interests. Like how would I look them up on internet perhaps to see about meetings etc. Never had to do it before and guess I'm a little intimidated sadly.

 
Old 04-03-2007, 08:20 AM   #14
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Re: Living for today?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaosAD View Post
Never had to do it before and guess I'm a little intimidated sadly.
Chaos, yeh, call the book store and ask them that. Why are you intimidated?

 
Old 04-03-2007, 09:01 AM   #15
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Re: Living for today?

New things tend to intimidate me. I'll put them off and avoid them. Sounds silly I know, but it is me.

 
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