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Old 05-07-2007, 05:53 AM   #1
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i_angelus_i HB User
Want to run away

About 2 years ago I started suffering severe anxiety attacks. I've been seeing a psychologist and taking medication for it now, but now I feel without the anxiety a black hole of emotions. I will be busy with something and then begin crying for no apparent reason. Its an accomplishment to go through 1 day without crying at least once.

Its starting to take its toll on my family and partner. I dont know what to do, I feel like I have done what I should have (I am still seeing a psychologist) and I am on medication, but I cant seem to lift myself from this void.

I have often had thoughts of running away. Finding work in another town and leave everything behind without telling anybody...I dont know why. I know its not going to help, in fact I know I need the support of my loved ones - but I also feel these feelings will go away if I start anew...I dont know what to do.

I love everyone so much, but I feel I am burdening them with this problem...any advice?

 
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Old 05-07-2007, 06:07 AM   #2
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marian100 HB User
Re: Want to run away

i have felt like that in the past. is it possible that your meds have stopped working? even if you left you would be taking your problems with you. it's hard to know what is exactly going on. hope you find some relief. God bless

 
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Old 05-07-2007, 06:20 AM   #3
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prwest84 HB User
Re: Want to run away

I have felt like that many times in the past year. I was seeing a Therapist for while but all we talked about was my mother. I changed my medication to Zoflot in the past few months and that is helping some. I also started light therapy in the morning and the evening. It has helped me alot. I just have to remember to take time to do it. Hang in there, you are not alone in your feelings.

 
Old 05-07-2007, 06:35 AM   #4
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ChaosAD HB User
Re: Want to run away

I too have felt this way, but I don't have anything really tying me down here. I could move and it wouldn't affect anyone really. If you have ties I would def say to stay around and work it out. If I had gone with my impulses I would have been gone a few times already. I'm trying to stay though and work through stuff and see what is going to be best for me. Maybe in the end I will end up leaving, but for now I am staying and trying to work things out all around. A lot of times impulses aren't well thought out things. Take time, step back and evaluate where you are and how things are. If after all that you are still sure you need to leave, then do what you have to do. Just make sure it is the best thing for you and not just a flight response.

I wish you the best of luck!

 
Old 05-07-2007, 08:11 AM   #5
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Want to run away

Angelus, you can't run fast enough or far enough to get away from yourself. For some reason you are not hitting on the issues in therapy that need to be dealt with. Maybe we can jumpstart them here. I suffered from anxiety and I was able to uncover why in therapy. Did anything happen or change 2 years ago when the panic attacks started? It is my belief that our development in childhood goes in a way that leaves us anxious. As adults we can go back and discover the roots of the anxiety and get rid of the anxiety because it is based on dysfunctional thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and skills (or lack of) that we have developed.

Last edited by Sannah; 05-07-2007 at 08:12 AM.

 
Old 05-08-2007, 03:29 AM   #6
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i_angelus_i HB User
Re: Want to run away

I recently started on a light medication about 3 weeks ago - Zopax. It seems to be doing wonders for the anxiety, but nothing for the depression, but still testing these things out. There was a very prominent incident that has caused all of this - Im not really goin to disclose it here as it is rather personal - but the fact it occured in the town i live in makes me want to leave even more. But my partner was born here and he wants to make a life here - I understand, we are settled now and a move would mean finding jobs for both of us. But running away from this place because of that incident wont cure my depression - I know that...I just have to find a way to face my fear as they say.

 
Old 05-08-2007, 07:55 AM   #7
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even_sly HB User
Re: Want to run away

I'm a firm believer in that you can't run away. Because it doesn't change anything, really. You have to like you... And you're the only person who can really make yourself happy. I mean, you're all you need. It's within... And how to find it takes time and patience, I guess. Sucks, I know... But when you get there, it rocks! I'm here to tell you that.

So, I agree with Sannah... All that she said. And I think it's good that you are really trying to make it work. Keep talking... I'm here to help and I know others are too. Take care ~ Sly
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"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." ~ Lao Tzu

 
Old 05-08-2007, 09:46 AM   #8
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Want to run away

Angelus, well I hope you are discussing this incident in therapy because this is how you are going to free yourself from it.

 
Old 05-09-2007, 06:59 AM   #9
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Re: Want to run away

Yeah, I've been seeing a psychologist since february about this issue. She is helping me, and she says it will all take time. I sometimes wish it would just hurry up! I hate feeling this way. I try with positive thoughts, but I feel the negative ones overflowing. I'm currently trying to reinforce my positive thoughts by writing down a 'blessing' and sticking it up somewhere in my cupboard or fridge. My psychologist is also teaching me a muscle relaxation technique. I'm trying so hard to feel good, how is it so easy to feel bad though? I want it to be the reverse! To be happy the majority of the time and feel sadness when sadness is due. And I depress myself even more when I get into one of my "dribbly" moods and my partner gets frustrated with it. I'm tired of this sadness and I can see the toll it takes on him too But he's been very supportive, and thats what keeps me here. I can build my happiness with that

 
Old 05-09-2007, 12:45 PM   #10
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Want to run away

Angelus, I have seen people get stuck here in working through their issues because of shame over the issue, guilt, or anger that are blocking their progress.

 
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