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Old 05-22-2007, 11:13 PM   #1
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I can just hear her voice saying

"well, I'll just wait until she attempts suicide before I make an appointment with a shrink".

I think my mom has been noticing my behavior lately. Mostly because I've been sleeping a lot and eating less and am kind of unresponsive. But she doesn't seem to care. And that seems like exactly the kind of reasoning she'd use.

I don't know what she thinks at this point. But just being around her makes me irritable. She probably thinks I'm just being angsty. And I don't even know, maybe I am. But shouldn't she be more concerned?

I've never attempted suicide or really actually wanted to do it, I've just sort of thought about how I'd do it. Kind of planned it, you know? But I'm too much of a coward to actually do something like that.

I don't know... seems like I never do.

 
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Old 05-23-2007, 04:11 AM   #2
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Re: I can just hear her voice saying

My friend, you need to tell your mum, it's scary to do so, but you need to, you would be suprized how supportive she might be. The worst case would be she doesnt give a damn abt you, but what will you lose? Nothing, coz it seems this is what you think anyway.

Self harm is tempting, isn't it? Suicidal thoughts seems exciting, dont they? I have been tempting to take actions. But don't, don't even think about it.

I was hurting myself and came to a point where I really wanted to die, I then decided to go out and be with some friends, I felt scared and sick when around people, but it was worth it, or I probably won't be here talking to you.

Go tell your mum.

 
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Old 05-23-2007, 07:10 AM   #3
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Re: I can just hear her voice saying

Sweetie, many families just cannot talk about stuff like this. I came from one of them. Why can't they talk about this stuff? Don't want to make it worse? They don't know what to do? They have no experience with this stuff because no one talked to them about this stuff?

I hear you saying "Why don't you care enough to ask me how I am doing?", "Don't you love me enough to care to ask?"

Please talk to your mom about this, okay? And please keep posting so that we know how you are doing.

 
Old 05-23-2007, 01:11 PM   #4
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Re: I can just hear her voice saying

Hello S. As being a teenage daughter at one point in my life, I completely understand how you feel. You feel your parents (your mom) have the ultimate responsibility to notice you and inquire about your life and your feelings. But you need to realize that parents have issues just like teens do. Perhaps your mom does notice but doesn't have the tools or the strength to approach you. Maybe the body language you receive from your mom is completely different than from what she is feeling inside. Being a mother of a daughter, I personally know that my daughter takes personally much of my moods. She thinks I'm mad at her when I am irritable, but the thing is that she hardly ever does anything wrong in my eyes!

Go and talk to your mom and tell her that you need her and need her. Start off with asking her for a hug. Then maybe you can work your way up to a conversation in the following days. But don't hurt yourself!!!! You don't realize now, but you have so much living ahead of you. You're a beautiful girl who is still blossoming. Hang in there and let us know how it goes with your mom.

Hugs to you!

 
Old 05-23-2007, 08:41 PM   #5
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Re: I can just hear her voice saying

I went through similar situation when I was a teen. Deeply depressed, could not even form straight sentences. We were religious so that just added to my inability to get it across to my mother what I was going through. Today she knows I am depressed, but still has not been able to accept it and completely blames me for my life not turning out the way it should. I can relate to what your going through. I think you should try to approach her about it. I was too afraid of the consequences I might suffer for being dysfunctional, but do not have her love or support anymore tody then I did 20 years ago. Don't keep this inside, do yourself a huge favor and try to trust her to handle this with you. If you really really cannot talk to her, then try to talk to a counselor at school or teacher that you trust. I really regret not trying to at least put into words what I didn't understand. I think this is important because it could be a huge step in getting well for you.

Wishing you all the best

 
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