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Old 05-23-2007, 06:49 PM   #1
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i dont know anymore..

I dont know what to do anymore.

me and my girlfriend just broke up, she was my life. No one can possibly understand how much she means to me. Ever since this i have been in my room, laying in my bed thinking about her. Yeah i have to get out and goto school and stuff but no matter where i go i feel like im on hte brink of balling my eyes out.

i cant take this anymore, life doesnt feel like living without her in it

its not like im thinking suicde, because thats not the case, i just dont feel like going on you know?

Last edited by thclifted; 05-23-2007 at 06:51 PM.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 01:46 AM   #2
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Re: i dont know anymore..

I understand how you feel. I lost my boyfriend of four years (he was my life also) just two and a half months after my brother died. I thought I would die! I still love him with all my heart, even though I haven't seen him in ten years. He was the first person I ever loved (as I was for him) and he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I'm in another relationship now (going on seven years, we been living together for going on six) and he is so incredibly good to me. I love him with all my heart also and honestly do not know what I would do with out him. It wasn't always like that, but he has changed a lot and all for the better. In a lot of ways he is very much like my first love.

Things will get better. Perhaps this is just temporary and the two of you will work things out. (I held onto the belief that my first and I would get back together for a long time.) If that doesn't happen you will begin to heal and feel better, perhaps not for a long time, but you will. And eventually someone else will come along; that may also take a while... it took three years for me, but it was worth the wait and it was worth the storms we weathered in the beginning.

 
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Old 05-24-2007, 06:31 AM   #3
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Re: i dont know anymore..

thclifted,

Hello and sorry to hear you are going through this. I am too going through a similar situation. It has been since January that I started feeling the Depression and Anxiety. At first it felt like nothing mattered, I didn't want to do anything, and I just felt if I could something I could make everything right with me and the ex. I would go through cycles. I would either be completely down and not even wanting to move OR I would be completely anxious, pacing all around feeling sick to my stomach and always want to do something such as call her. Finally, thanks to these boards I went to see a therapist and to talk to my doctor. The therapy has helped a lot. It helped me get soem closure, where I didn't think or would admit to myself I needed.

Now I'm not here to tell you all is well and I feel like roses everyday. I have my good days and my bad days, but it is def better then when I started and that is all I can ask for. So I tell you this, it will get better. As much as no one wants to hear or believe it does get better with time. I would suggest going to see a therapist if it feels like too much of a burden on you. At first I was skeptical of going, but I'm glad I did and wish I had gone sooner.

I wish you luck and please feel free to vent here. It helps a lot and many of us have goen through similiar instances and can hopefulyl help you.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 12:02 PM   #4
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Re: i dont know anymore..

yeah man i completley understnad what your saying.

one minute ill just want to sit on my couch and do nothing. the next ill have my phone in my hand and want to call and talk to her. but i jsut cant.

me and her were perfect together, it was like the puzzle pieces of our lives fit perfectly into each other.

n i know it will get better over time, but i dont want to get better unless shes with me. i know that sounds dumb but shes all i want, i dont know if i can ever lose what i felt for her. each day it gets harder and harder. i mean im not like completly depressed, its just i feel really down at all times, even when i start to get happy n think bout other things, something brings me back to her and it makes me feel like crap again

 
Old 05-24-2007, 12:12 PM   #5
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Re: i dont know anymore..

also all i keep doing is listening to sad songs its making it so much worse but these poeple know exactly what im talking about.

if you would like to hear a really good song that helps me feel better all though its sad..

Theory of a deadman - Hello Lonely

this song pretty much sums up how i feel.

Last edited by moderator2; 05-24-2007 at 02:08 PM. Reason: posted commercial website

 
Old 05-24-2007, 12:16 PM   #6
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Re: i dont know anymore..

Well, if it helps I've gone and am going through all that you describe. I used to have the days of rushing home to check the phone. Of not leaving cause I didn't want to miss 'the call'. Of pacing around the around feeling sick thinking the only way to feel better was to call her. The only way to really get through is what you are doing now. Not calling, not basing stuff around her. As hard as it is you need to just take yourself out. If it is with friends cool, but even if none are available go out anywhere. Be it the park, library, coffee house, even walking around the mall. I found by taking myself out of the situation of being home alone I slowly took away the 'need' too call or wait for her to call. It does get better. When I feel the worst lately I remind myself of how it was and the strides I've made. Sometimes it can seem like nothing has been accomplished. That is why journaling is a good thing. You get out your thoughts at the time and you can also see your progress.

As for the everything reminds you, I still get that. It has gotten better some but I still do it a lot. It is only natural. You miss her, so your mind tries to tie everything it can to her and her memory. As always that goes away with time, but I have find this one to be the hardest to go away for me.

I know it seems like you were perfect for each other, but honestly if that was true you would still be together. I still get thoughts of how perfect everything was and how great she was. The truth is though if you sit down and think about, truly think, you can see the flaws in her and the relationship. Not to say it was bad or anything, but you can start to see what went wrong and it could be something that no one could control.

My advice to you is to get out and take yourself out of the environment. Keep your self out as much as you can till you start feeling better and more comfortable about not calling and not waiting. If you have close friends, then surround yourself with them at this time. During one break up in the past I remember just going over to my friends house every nt after work and just crashing on the couch till bedtime then walking back over to my apt. It wasn't much but it got me out of the house and around ppl that cared.

Even now I go every nt after work to the gym. It has become a ritual and is great for getting rid of stress. I would highly recommend any kind of physical activity whether it is the gym, sports, or even walking around the neighborhood.

Good luck and please keep posting. Feel free to vent and let us know how you are.

EDIT: Just saw the post about the music. If you are like me then music can have a huge effect on you. Music can help me strengthen my emotions. I would def avoid anything that reminds you of her and listen to mostly upbeat stuff. Nothing really concerning relations or loss. I still can't listen to some stuff cause it reminds me of the ex or the breakup.

Last edited by ChaosAD; 05-24-2007 at 12:18 PM.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 12:48 PM   #7
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Re: i dont know anymore..

yeah bro i feel you, its so tough thought because like. anything i do reminds me of her!

going out, going to the mall, being in school, work, anything. I see people together holding hands, and i just want to like start to cry. see when i do look back though, there was only 1 mistake and that was the cause of our breakup. thats why im having so much trouble getting over it. Ive been labled and "*****hole" in the past because of how i seem to always been cold hearted towards this stuff, but ever since ive met her things have changed.

 
Old 05-24-2007, 05:45 PM   #8
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Re: i dont know anymore..

Hi thclifted,

I have just read this thread, and what you are going through is alot like me at the moment too. My b/f of four years suddenly decided he wanted a "break" and has left me asking so many questions. I know it is a "break" but I feel like it is over. I have asked him if he is trying to "buy time" to tell me he wants to move on, and if their is someone else, but he still says no. Anyway, our 4 weeks is up this Sunday, and I have to go and ask him the hard questions. It hurts so much being left in the dark, Sunday seems terribly frightening for me. I just don't get how he was "really happy" just before he wanted this break, that we talked about moving in (HE asked ME) then this....a break! I can understand you thclifted that I feel like if it ends, I wont be able to move on. Everything reminds me of him, I just wanna go back to how things were before. I DONT WANT TO MOVE ON. I see my future in him, it hurts cause we always openly talked about it! I constantly ask myself what I did wrong, or what I could've done better. BUT the thing is, this seems to be out of my control, and the sooner I accept it the better.

Oh well, I will have to see how it all goes on Sunday, even if he still wants to be with my, I'm still going to be left feeling confused and paranoid. Either way seems like a bleak outlook.

I'll be thinking of you,
Miss-Pants

 
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