yea, im thinking i may need her sooner-never thought of this one-duh
i cant cry anymore so it has to come out another way. i salt and ice burnt again-to extremes.
i got a big masive chunk that was joined as four, put it on for 45/50 mins with loads of salt. mt stomach has swollen bigtime and i can see every pore in myself. its red and raised, but parts are white and some parts are a dark bluey colour were id birnt last saturday.
i feel pain which is a good sign, but when i touch it i feel nothing-which is a bad sign im guessing in the morning i will have one mother****er of a blister. the heat off it is unbeleivable and my skin is hard(not from frost either)
im scared now, it wasnt my intention to go running back before tuesday. im shaking and im faint, im such a loser, i wish i was with someone
things havent been great latley.
thers my update then. how you all doing??
xox
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken
I am unfamiliar with what you are referring to? Either way it sounds bad! I hope you are feeling ok? Do you have a support network of friends/family to talk to right now?
salt and ice burning is a form of self harm-its burns flesh. ive only ever had 1st degree and it goes away in 2 weeks or so, i can see the scars and stuff and its itchy but thats it.
well, i woke up this morning and my skin has bubbled. i am blistered but not masivley-just over a vast area. i made such a smashing job of myself(sarcasam).
Well, my support system isnt really there right now-partly my own fault, i will not tell my parents, my freinds freak out a bit, who can blame them they arent psychs or docs. my counsellor is great but she isnt in yesterday to talk to, i have her mobile number but ive relied on her too much this last while-i need to be by myself more.
my doc is a bit complicated, the relationship went down the toilet last week and she hates me calling cos she is busy. i see her on tuesday to try and sort it out, they diagnosed me as having nothing wrong with me, so im stuffed there, i cant get meds, counselling wont change my moods so im trying hopelessly.
my parrents are away for the weekend, my freinds are all revising for the exams. i have an exam tomorrow that i havent revised for. i havent eaten really this last week, i feel sick constantly, i sleep for 4-5 hours at a time, nothing interests me, i cant be bothered, and now im walking like a penguin-but at least i stopped crying and washed myself.
i wish tuesday would hurry up and come. its a big day, i see my doc, then my UNI counsellor(shes a bit crap though), then my proper wonderful counsellor. until then im stuck and the hours are very very long.
thanks for your help.
xox
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken
Pucca ~ I'm worried about you. I hope you do go to the doc... Sounds like you should. Might be an infection?
Hope you can update us today. ((((((((((pucca)))))))))) ~ Sly
__________________
"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." ~ Lao Tzu
hey sannah-nothing, i dont see her until tues, she says she wants me to try exercises to get me to talk to people more. not pressuring me, just helping me find the resources in me to do it.
xox
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken
sannah-no they didnt. depression and anxiety are out the window, im just like this apparently. thats not a diagnosis-its a lack of. it is just back were i started really because nothing will change.
xox
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken
Kerry, I have said this before, therapy is what is going to get you out of this anyway. You have to figure out what you need to fix in you to get you better. IMO, diagnosis are useless. Working on the issues is what works. No matter which mental health board that I am on here EVERYONE HAS THE SAME ISSUES. They have different symptoms but all have the same issues. Diagnosis is just academic. And this leads me to the thread talking about how helpful psych docs are. They are just focused on the diagnosis and meds and don't deal with issues. Since they don't deal with what works they tell people and believe that people can't get better.
sannah i get what your saying, but over here i need a diagnosis to get help. it puts a stopper in everything-disability, UNI help, even my means and type of counselling im not into labels and i dont care if they give me sociopathy, i just want something that will make them listen and help me.
is it starnge that latley ive been obbssessing that at any moment i may lose my sanity. im gneuinley panicy about it and feel like a shard of glass. then today i went to walk the dogs and i felt fear, im beginning to notice that im fearful of leaving the house-im terrified itl become an unrelenting fear and ill be confined to my house-something i cant hide from others either. but im trying to deal with it, but the fear is physical.
help, xox
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken
think im gonna need that doc sooner..... 
im guessing in the morning i will have one mother****er of a blister. the heat off it is unbeleivable and my skin is hard(not from frost either)
)
