I started therapy a few weeks ago, and just wanted to post that I find it SO hard! Having to deal with all these issues from my past and to deal with my negative thought patterns... grrh! Sometimes I think it is just safe and familiar to feel depressed, rather than try and deal with the issues. I don't really know what it is like to feel "normal" for an extended period of time... in a sense, I'm afraid of the unknown, afraid of getting better.
I want help to not cancel my appointment on Wednesday!! Please, please someone, hold me accountable.... tell me not to cancel it!! I do want to get better... just wish it was easier!
You're right... Therapy IS hard. It is. And it takes a strong person to go and stick with it. Because the end result is usually so positive. In other words, I'm here to tell you - It IS worth it!! Please know that.
I've been where you are... Afraid to get better... Thinking I'd become a different person... And who would that be? The unknown is tough... But still, if you're feeling bad now, what can it hurt to try something that could make you feel better?
So GO for it. Sure, you're going to be bringing up some tough stuff. You may leave your appointments feeling awful sometimes... But you just may leave feeling great too.
It takes time... Please hang in there, k? It REALLY is worth it. I know. Take care ~ Sly
"Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." ~ Lao Tzu
I know EXACTLY what you mean. it is HARD. hardest thing i've ever done. i didn't want to go through it but i was so wanting to talk with someone that wouldn't judge me. point fingers at me telling me i screwed up in life. sure it brings up alot of the past. i found out alot of things i didn't know about myself. i understand myself better now. i wish i could still be in theraphy. its just nice to have that one hour to just talk about ME. and to support ME. nobody else.
its worth so keep with it. i know its very very hard and there was times i wanted to quit. but i stuck with it. i only quit couple months ago becasue my payment went up that i couldn't afford to keep going. i'm thinking of going back now. my dog is sick and if i loose him i'm not going to be able to cope very well if at all.
i'm like that to with my meds. sometimes i just dont' take them. and feel worse later so i take them again. depression is a constant struggle. you can not let your guard down for a minute!
I thought it would be hard, but I think I wasn't prepared for how hard it really is! It is nice to have encouragement to just keep going, to keep working on it.
I am studying as part of my work, and I have an assignment due soon that I don't think I will be able to do on time, so I decided this morning that I would ask for an extension for it. I think that was adding to the feeling that I should cancel my therapy appointment tomorrow - because I felt like I had so much to do, I didn't want to spend more time working through the issues - I didn't want to spend the time thinking and working through stuff, when I had to be thinking about doing this assignment.
Hopefully I will be able to get the extension, so I will be able to spend adequate time working through the issues this week.
Having to deal with all these issues from my past and to deal with my negative thought patterns... grrh! Sometimes I think it is just safe and familiar to feel depressed, rather than try and deal with the issues.
I get the negative thought patterns too! Gosh I cant wait to make an appointment!
I havent thought about therapy, but it's looking like a good idea.
Thanks for your encouragement to keep going to therapy. My appointment today was good... sad, but good. We talked about one of my best friends who died when I was 15, and we talked about how I hadn't dealt with her death properly as a teenager. Helpful, but sad, to remember her and remember back to that time in my life and look at how it still affects me.
I look forward to my visits and actually get sad when they have to be rescheduled or something (like this week). I went in for one thing, but have been finding out a lot about myself lately with the visits. There is still some stuff I haven't talked about with her, but I have talked about a lot of stuff that very few if any people knew. I would def recommend it for anyone going through some tough stuff. I only wish I had earlier in life.
I remember when I had my last session last week, my counsellor somehow indirectly she didnt get my total turst, coz I always ask her what dose she wants to knwo rather then what I really wanna say. well, yes, this is very true, this is me. But we had been finding out a lot of things I didnt even know about about myself, or things I always thought I have already forgotten. And I actually told her a lot that I wouldnt tell anyone, even my partner. So she had my trust, might not be 100%, but more than enough. I guess there is some magic in therapies.
My therapy sessions are hard also. They bring up things that I would rather throw away in the back of my mind. But I know its better out than in. I like my therapist, although sometimes he says things that I don't agree wiht. I correct him to. Just keep going and you'll get through it.
Hey everyone - thanks for your replies. My therapist also sometimes says things I don't agree with. I don't like her suggesting my husband doesn't look out for my needs (because he does), and I don't like her trying to say that as a teenager, I did the best I could in a certain situation - when I actually did things wrong, and one of the things I needed to do was to be able to admit that I did things wrong that hurt one of my best friends, and then be able to forgive myself. I have had to work on that one by myself because my therapist just wants to say I didn't do anything wrong, I was just a teenager and couldn't have done anything different... well, yes, I was just a teenager and I lacked the skills to be able to stand up for what was right, but I still did something wrong, and I needed to learn to accept that and forgive myself - not to be told I really did nothing wrong, therefore I have nothing to forgive... grrh.
Anyway, I feel like I am able to look back and admit that what I did was wrong, but I also feel that I can forgive myself and move on from that point (without the therapist's help on this).
But it was still good to be able to talk things over with her, even if I think she was totally off the track on this one...