New...and is it depression?
Hi. I know that this is such a broad question, and that I'll probably get a lot of responses telling me to go do research. I have, I've read through all the symptoms, the online tests, and I'm still not sure.
I guess the question is, where do you draw the line between depression and just being in a bad mood, or having a bad day. I'm 18, I really don't know if I should be getting help or not. Sometimes I think that I'm depressed, then I think that I'm just making it up, trying to create something where there's nothing.
There are times when I just feel empty. Not really upset, not even necessarily sad, just completely empty. I'll look around my room and try to find something to do, and nothing appeals to me, not reading, writing, getting on my computer. I'll come home form hanging out with friends, something that should make me feel good, and just be sad, even if I had a great time. Then again, that could just be nagging doubt about my relationship with my friends, everyone gets that. Some things that I used to enjoy don't appeal to me as much anymore. Sometimes I'll want to do them, but often I couldn't even imagine getting up and doing that same thing over again. The only thing that makes me feel truly happy is being at the barn, with my horse and all the people there.
Sometimes, even a lot of the time, I feel happy, I have a good time. Its like as long as I'm actively having a good time, as long as I'm at the barn, as long as I'm with my friends or family, I'm happy. But that feeling doesn't carry over. And when I'm alone I'm miserable.
But then I sit and think, why should I be depressed? What right do I have to complain about anything? I have a great family that loves me, close friends, I have my horse that makes everything worth it, I'm going to a good school next year, and I've had a good childhood. So how am I depressed? Why should I be?
Wow, that was long, and thanks to anyone who read it. I guess the question is, have any of you experienced these things...and did it turn out to be depression? Or am I just exagerating the feelings that everyone gets?
Last edited by horsegalZ; 05-31-2007 at 10:27 PM.