It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-01-2007, 04:11 AM   #1
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 88
shellshell82 HB User
had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

Just wanted to share with someone - anyone. On Wednesday I had a breakthrough in understanding why I felt like I did about other people and the whole infertility issue (my husband and I are both infertile). I realised that when I went to people in the beginning and told them about it, I just wanted them to "mourn with those who mourn" and allow me to grieve - but instead, they would try to cheer me up, and tell me success stories to try and give me hope (nothing wrong with that in itself, but I wasn't at that stage yet), and tell me about all the wonderful treatments I could do, and how it was great that I was young ... rah rah rah.

They generally didn't recognise the loss and grief involved. And I ended up feeling like they thought I didn't have one reason to be sad about it. So over time, I stopped telling people, and then I felt emotionally disconnected and isolated from people - because they didn't understand where I was coming from, and what I was going through.

I have found it really liberating to realise that when I went to people in the beginning and told them about it, I was wanting them to allow me to grieve, and to grieve with me. And because they didn't allow me to grieve, this has led to internalised unresolved grief.

Anyway, has been good to understand this and start working through it. Therapy has been good - hard, but good.

 
Old 06-01-2007, 07:28 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: royal oak mi 48067
Posts: 873
marian100 HB User
Re: had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

Glad to hear you are getting the help you need to come to terms with your sense of loss. It is a loss of hopes and dreams and it is hard. You will get through this. God bless

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-01-2007, 11:44 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,178
Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

This is good info to know. I am glad that you figured this out.

 
Old 06-01-2007, 12:14 PM   #4
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MI
Posts: 263
jujubeez725 HB User
Re: had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

Quote:
Originally Posted by shellshell82 View Post
Just wanted to share with someone - anyone. On Wednesday I had a breakthrough in understanding why I felt like I did about other people and the whole infertility issue (my husband and I are both infertile). I realised that when I went to people in the beginning and told them about it, I just wanted them to "mourn with those who mourn" and allow me to grieve - but instead, they would try to cheer me up, and tell me success stories to try and give me hope (nothing wrong with that in itself, but I wasn't at that stage yet), and tell me about all the wonderful treatments I could do, and how it was great that I was young ... rah rah rah.

They generally didn't recognise the loss and grief involved. And I ended up feeling like they thought I didn't have one reason to be sad about it. So over time, I stopped telling people, and then I felt emotionally disconnected and isolated from people - because they didn't understand where I was coming from, and what I was going through.

I have found it really liberating to realise that when I went to people in the beginning and told them about it, I was wanting them to allow me to grieve, and to grieve with me. And because they didn't allow me to grieve, this has led to internalised unresolved grief.

Anyway, has been good to understand this and start working through it. Therapy has been good - hard, but good.

It's a wonderful thing that you've recognized your situation and you're active with it!
Keep working through it.

 
Old 06-01-2007, 02:59 PM   #5
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Posts: 88
shellshell82 HB User
Re: had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

Thanks everyone, for your encouragement and support.

 
Old 06-01-2007, 06:23 PM   #6
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 458
Kymberlee HB User
Re: had a breakthro in dealing w/ grief

Hey, there! I've "been there & done it". My husband & I went thru 5 1/2 yrs. of infertility. I have to say that the whole experience was very hard and it has changed me as a person. I started a support group for women & we are still friends today...years after our struggle! I think it's great that you are going to counseling--I did as well. Keep on with the good work. Look into a support group in your area---it is priceless! God Bless you & your husband! Kym.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Serious grief, piles of stress and self harm. michaelb1915 Grief & Loss 2 04-24-2010 09:04 AM
after AD and the grief process indigoskye1 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 10 03-25-2008 09:21 AM
Grief and anger kathryn+2 Grief & Loss 3 01-23-2008 01:09 AM
grief leading me down the wrong path - bridgetmark Addiction & Recovery 7 11-06-2007 12:54 PM
Grief. over husbands suicide CarenR Grief & Loss 7 07-14-2007 02:33 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



flamesabers (79), Phoenix (43), keenobserver (20), katlin09 (13), Diverdan8 (11), WhistleDixie (10), cuddles1 (9), neveragain444 (9), rosequartz (9), blessed824 (9)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:43 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!