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Old 06-03-2007, 08:33 AM   #1
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Jessums18 HB User
Unhappy Help Plz talk to me

let see where to start...i started being depressed about 5 months ago and i start on paxil 12.5mg. well just recently i got dumped by my b/f of 7months b/c he says he just didn't love me anymore and was tired of "faking" it. he also found someone who makes him extremly happy. i dated him back when i was in high school too for about 9months. i broke up with him that time b/c he thought he still had feelings for an ex of his. anyways i should have known but now my depression has become worse. sometimes i will stop and tell myself that everythings ok and that no person is worth feeling like this and then i'll feel a little better for a while. but most days i wake up and just feel like just going back to sleep all day everyday. being dumped has made me realize that my ex wasn't the person who was making me depressed although it does make me extremly sad b/c i love him so much but the real thing i'm depressed with is myself. for some reason i dont feel happy with myself or my life and i hate that feeling. i just need people to talk to and people that know how i'm feeling b/c even my friends dont understand. paxil doesn't seem to be helping like it used to and i was wondering about either going up a dosage or switching to lexapro. any advice is apprieciated. just please help me somehow.

 
Old 06-03-2007, 09:12 AM   #2
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planet jenn HB User
Re: Help Plz talk to me

i'm sorry you got dumped, but what you are experiencing is pretty normal. do you have a therapist? therapy would help you more in situational depression more than meds will help. hang in there, things will get better.

 
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Old 06-03-2007, 09:19 AM   #3
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justlilme HB User
Re: Help Plz talk to me

Hi Jessums. Being dumped is an awful feeling, but don't let it mean that there's something wrong with you. I'm sure you are a wonderful person with many great qualities to be proud of. Maybe you can share about yourself with us and hopefully in the process you'll see that you have many reasons to be happy with yourself. Try not to concentrate only on your mistakes and misfortunes. Everything will look up soon.

 
Old 06-03-2007, 10:51 AM   #4
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Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Help Plz talk to me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessums18 View Post
let see where to start...i started being depressed about 5 months ago and i start on paxil 12.5mg. well just recently i got dumped by my b/f of 7months b/c he says he just didn't love me anymore and was tired of "faking" it. he also found someone who makes him extremly happy. i dated him back when i was in high school too for about 9months. i broke up with him that time b/c he thought he still had feelings for an ex of his. anyways i should have known but now my depression has become worse. sometimes i will stop and tell myself that everythings ok and that no person is worth feeling like this and then i'll feel a little better for a while. but most days i wake up and just feel like just going back to sleep all day everyday. being dumped has made me realize that my ex wasn't the person who was making me depressed although it does make me extremly sad b/c i love him so much but the real thing i'm depressed with is myself. for some reason i dont feel happy with myself or my life and i hate that feeling. i just need people to talk to and people that know how i'm feeling b/c even my friends dont understand. paxil doesn't seem to be helping like it used to and i was wondering about either going up a dosage or switching to lexapro. any advice is apprieciated. just please help me somehow.
hi jess,
i'm sorry about your situations. break-ups hurt, no matter who does the breaking-up. it seems that you were a bit depressed even before your bf broke up with you. i'm assuming this, since you said you started feeling this way five months ago, and he just "recently" broke it off. you also said you dated him when you were in high school for about 9 months, but then you broke it off because you said " he thought he still had feelings for an ex of his." that was a good move on your part. you figured that once he got his relationship straigthened out with his ex, he'd be ready for you--that was very mature on your part.

you know, i do believe in second chances, because i think we all make mistakes along the way, and i think everyone deserves the benefit of doubt. however, this is the last chance you should give this man. although you love him very much, and it hurts you deeply, the fact that he broke off with you now says something about HIM. he isn't the one for you, girl. i see him as being a guy who will always chase after girls, perhaps because none of them are "good" enough for him. first, "he thought he still had feelings for his ex," then he came back to you; now, he says he "found someone who makes him extremly happy," and he left you again. jess, this guy seems very fickle. i don't know/think you want or need someone like that in you life.

it does make me extremly sad b/c i love him so much but the real thing i'm depressed with is myself. for some reason i dont feel happy with myself or my life and i hate that feeling. .....paxil doesn't seem to be helping like it used to and i was wondering about either going up a dosage or switching to lexapro.

of course you're extremely sad. everyone would be in your circumstance. you don't feel happy with yourself because you think you're not good enough just because this man left you for another woman. well, you ARE GOOD ENOUGH, you're more than good enough. YOU're GREAT!!!! i'm sure you have a wonderful heart and are very compassionate. it's just too bad this guy didn't see it. i've been through many break-ups. i often thought it was me. sometimes i still do. and i'm still working very hard at not believing that it is me or my issues that drive men away. i've been going to therapy for years and years, and i'm even on meds (i have other problems, not only "men problems").

you know, jess, meds can help to a certain extent, but please do not expect them to make you feel better when there are so many issues that you need to straigthen out inside yourself--inside your head. sure, it may help if you raise the dose to 20 mg. a day, but a big and important component to getting to feel better is really talking to someone. and i mean talking about your deepest fears, wants, needs, desires, upsets, disappointments, dreams about life, etc. is there a way (i don't know how old you are) that you can somehow see a counselor in the area where you live? you know that there are hundreds of licensed social workers whose fees are much less than those of psychologists, and who are very willing to work with you on making up a payment plan as you go along with your appointments. just a thought for you. please think about it. it's really worth it!!

and please come here anytime. there are people here who DO understand. we all come here because our families, friends, siblings, husbands, wives, daughters, etc, do not understand us.

be good to yourself!!! you are number one in your world!!!!
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Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...

 
Old 06-04-2007, 07:39 AM   #5
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ChaosAD HB User
Re: Help Plz talk to me

Jessums18

I can relate to what you are going through, in fact a lot people here probably can. Sadly, it is hard to go through life without any heart ache. From what I read in your post it sounds like you guys were a little rocky to begin with. Twice so far the breakup was due to him and another woman. You deserve someone who is about you and only you. Try and look at this as a time to work on yourself. You will now be able to get someone in your life that will make you happy and will want to be with you. It may take some time, so don't expect to just walk around the corner and find him. You def don't need someone else to validate you or to make you feel ok with yourself. Only you can truly do that.

If you haven't already I would go and see a therapist. It really helps to talk about things and they should be able to help you see what all is causing your depression and how to work on it. Plenty of people go through what you have so you are def not alone. Please feel free to post here with any thoughts or questions you may have. Talking and getting stuff out helps more then people realize.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 09:43 AM   #6
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jujubeez725 HB User
Re: Help Plz talk to me

Jess,
be glad you're rid of that mess.

I have to agree w/Dakota & K.os.

Your former b/f was full of b/s!

Now you're going to go through this "loss" period where you feel bad and all, but this will pass. Trouble doesn't last always (just feels like it sometimes).

He was not deserving of YOU. Period.
I guarantee you this: He'll run into a buzzsaw, meaning that he's gonna fall hard for a girl and she's going to treat him the same way he treated you -- and worse!
Don't let him back in your life after that happens, b/c he'll be looking for someone to use again.

Don't question you're value or self-worth b/c he's a user. When I say "user", I mean he uses women for whatever he can get out of them; then when he's done, he goes on to the next one and does it all over again.

If you're not seeing a therapist, try seeing one. You'll find it beneficial to you.

 
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