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Old 06-04-2007, 11:26 AM   #1
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Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

I am in a huge "funk". I have a wonderful girlfriend who moved from NY to live with me, she is leaving a great job, still working from home, but who knows how long, it has been 5 months so far. I promised to take care of us, I have an online business, but for months have been basically useless. I have constant regret over bad decisions, such as having bought so many things to resell that were not smart moves. I have lyme disease that I am treating with supplements per the Dr.'s orders. I have an overwhelming feeling of self loathing and wish that I could somehow be the person I was prior to New Years. This is not fair to my girl, and I have distanced myself from (former) friends. I just don't see the point in my being alive, I feel like a huge idiot and wish that I had never been able to make such bad decisions, I have lost confidence and belief in myself. What should I do???

Last edited by DavinoPA; 06-04-2007 at 11:27 AM.

 
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Old 06-04-2007, 11:32 AM   #2
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

Hi Davino, did all this start when your gf moved in? Why do you feel that you need to take care of her?

 
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Old 06-04-2007, 11:37 AM   #3
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Cool Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DavinoPA View Post
I am in a huge "funk". I have a wonderful girlfriend who moved from NY to live with me, she is leaving a great job, still working from home, but who knows how long, it has been 5 months so far. I promised to take care of us, I have an online business, but for months have been basically useless. I have constant regret over bad decisions, such as having bought so many things to resell that were not smart moves. I have lyme disease that I am treating with supplements per the Dr.'s orders. I have an overwhelming feeling of self loathing and wish that I could somehow be the person I was prior to New Years. This is not fair to my girl, and I have distanced myself from (former) friends. I just don't see the point in my being alive, I feel like a huge idiot and wish that I had never been able to make such bad decisions, I have lost confidence and belief in myself. What should I do???

Ok, Dav., so you've made some bad decisions... who hasn't?

Now you're feeling guilty over the decisions you've made. Times were better --when? -- prior to New Year's??

Things happen. You've made mistakes and I'm sure you've learned from them.
Now please, don't think this way:

I just don't see the point in my being alive

STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!

We are all here for a purpose, and feeling this way is ONE thing; feelings change. Are you seeking therapy? if not, do so!
Obviously your g/f wanted to leave NY and be w/you. Look up!
Do you see what she sees? She's showing you are of value and worth!
Don't let guilt and regret tear you down.

Is there a consultant or someone you know of--or, maybe your g/f knows of that you can talk to about your business? Maybe someone's got some ideas that may help you.

Be positive! Look up! There's always a bright side to things...
look around you and see some positives! Count them.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 11:43 AM   #4
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Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

Thanks! I sure know that she sees me as worthwhile, I just feel trapped in a rut that I haven't even begun to pull myself out of. I'm emotionally spent and listless and I hate it. I always had energy and now I don't and it's wearing down the people around me. I have no relationship with my mom and sister to speak of, although I pay part of their rent and bought my sister a car a while back. I feel like a fool at times and fear that I will ruin my girls life. She loves me and I love her, so that is great, I just don't want to bring anyone down.

 
Old 06-04-2007, 11:55 AM   #5
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DavinoPA View Post
I'm emotionally spent and listless and I hate it.

I always had energy and now I don't and it's wearing down the people around me.

I have no relationship with my mom and sister to speak of, although I pay part of their rent and bought my sister a car a while back.

I feel like a fool at times and fear that I will ruin my girls life.
Davino, you're emotionally spent, huh, have anything to do with all that you do for your family and what little that you get back? Do you feel a bit too responsible for others around you? Do you think that you meet others needs at the expense of your own?

 
Old 06-04-2007, 12:09 PM   #6
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Smile Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DavinoPA View Post
Thanks! I sure know that she sees me as worthwhile, I just feel trapped in a rut that I haven't even begun to pull myself out of. I'm emotionally spent and listless and I hate it. I always had energy and now I don't and it's wearing down the people around me. I have no relationship with my mom and sister to speak of, although I pay part of their rent and bought my sister a car a while back. I feel like a fool at times and fear that I will ruin my girls life. She loves me and I love her, so that is great, I just don't want to bring anyone down.
WHOA !! Did I just read....

I have no relationship with my mom and sister to speak of, although I pay part of their rent and bought my sister a car a while back.

Now how is it you all don't have a "relationship to speak of" and yet you're partially paying for rent and you've purchased your sister a car ????? I mean, that sounds like you're being used! I can't go for that.

I feel like a fool at times and fear that I will ruin my girls life

Maybe that "feel like a fool at times" comes from paying for items that really, you shouldn't be responsible for and mom and sis don't have a decent relationship w/you.
I have a feeling if you quit paying for their expenses, they'll want to talk to you!

Sannah's right! I wouldn't pay another red cent for their expenses. Bump that! If they can't talk to me, they can sure 'nough pay for their own expenses! I'd use that money and take care of me and mine!

What do you mean by "ruin my girls life"? Is it about your perceived business failures? Why do you think this way? You can turn things around.

Last edited by jujubeez725; 06-04-2007 at 12:12 PM.

 
Old 06-08-2007, 06:56 AM   #7
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Re: Thoughts on improving one's life, if possible.

It is about business, plus depression over a bunch of foolish choices. My girl is basically leaving here job and I was supposed to take care of us, now WHAM, I have become almost incapable of any positive efforts. I am down in the dumps and shouldn't be, I have a house with no mortgage and 3 great dogs, but can't find joy anymore.

 
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