__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Trg, maybe it is just the weather that is getting you today and tomorrow the sun might be shining again. Trg, you have been sorting through some things lately and sounding better every time that you post. If you keep it up one day you might be able to start weaning off some meds. How was your Saturday with your son this past week?
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Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
TRG - I was once in a place as you are now, with the feeling that tomorrow would be no better and tomorrow would be no better, ditto, ditto, ditto...................
then one day - it was better. I know not seeing you son isn't helping and ditto there too. I basically had NO CONTACT with my son from the age of 11 til now, he's 22! I'd be lucky to see him 4 times a year, so I know the pain of that very well. He will not be a child forever. Soon HE will be making HIS OWN DECISIONS as to how often he wants to see you. Then hopefully, he will want to see you more. But how long you see them for isn't necessarily the point, it is the quality of time you spend together that is important.
Hang on there.
THINGS WILL GET BETTER. (just not as fast as you want them to)!
i'm all for pdocs, but i've been reading about T's pdoc for a while now, and i truly believe his doc is a moron, unfit to shine T's shoes, let alone practice psychiatry!!! for real.
i'm just sorry T lives there where the waiting lists never end!!!!
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Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
can you focus on what's NOT in your head sometimes? you know, take the focus off of yourself. completely. get totally engrossed in something outside of yourself. too much idle time--you know this--will lead to too much introspection, which will then lead to too much sadness and despair.
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
I approach people with the mindset that at some point they are going to hurt me. This is not a productive thought and I have severed friendships before they began but it keeps me safe.
I have done that most of my life. I get it. I am trying to break out of that habit but it is a tough habit to break. I have been making some new friends, but I struggle with the desire to pull away. I don't know how it will turn out...
I approach people with the mindset that at some point they are going to hurt me. This is not a productive thought and I have severed friendships before they began but it keeps me safe
hey T,
like SOE, i did that (still do to some extent), not for fear that they hurt me, but i don't really know why....just like SOE said, i always get this feeling of "pulling away" from them, even from close friends. even mentioned a couple of times, and in my own thread that i haven't even called a girl whose been trying to contact me for the past two days (and in whose wedding i'm supposed to be a bridesmade), and i just don't feel like calling her back. i don't know why. i don't feel like talking to people for some freakin reason. i'm ok otherwise. maybe i'm just not that social..maybe i don't NEED as many pple around me as others do, i don't know. i don't care if i meet pple and talk to them for a while, but i don't want/feel like talking to them for 1/2 and hour or an hour, and i don't like phones. maybe i spend my whole day with people at work and i can't stand to see others when i'm on my off days. i don't know. it 's very weird. it's something i need to talk to the therapist about. but now that they changes insurances, i have to wait and see if i can still go to the one that i've barely gotten to feel comfortable with. it's really a freakin' drag, let me tell ya.
i hope you're having a tolerable day today.
my best to you!!
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
Trg, I can totally understand what you are doing (I've never done it so I don't understand it that way but I can understand having a safe retreat). The only thing that I can think of now is learning skills to protect yourself from others (boundaries, communicating your feelings, etc.). As you probably know, I had to learn boundaries. I went from none to very functioning boundaries. You have been very hurt in the past, so that fear trigger would be very large. I had some triggers that I had to overcome and they had nothing to do with abuse and they were strong (boundary issues). Trg, you can learn these skills and learn to decrease your response to triggers so that you can feel safe coming out of your "retreat".
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
the first part of your post: you need to realize that most people do that too. most people do things just because they should, T. just because it's Valentine's day, we say, let's send our loved ones some cards and / or some flowers, or some candy, or whatever...just bec. it's Christmas/Passover/Thanksgiving/Easter, we say, let's buy our loved ones some gifts and have some dinner together, etc. even if we don't really feel like doing some of these things. i really do not believe you are the only one T. we get home, and we have to make a call, or take a call from someone, even though we don't feel like talking, but we do it anyway, bec. we're expected to do it--the person expects us to call, or we know it's someone "important" on the other line... this is how society works, this is our culture.... i too have gotten tired and bored with these sorts of things over the years. i will do something and always from my heart, but only if it really, really interests me. simple and for some, a silly ex.: i feed the birds or squirrels in the park or around the st. where i live because i want to, and feel good about it, and i don't give a cent what people think about me. i've learned not to go by others' standars too much anymore, you know? for what? to make them happy, while i feel like crap??? i don't think so!!! beside, they aren't going to make ME happy!!!! so.... i'm minding my business, and they're minding theirs, so let it be....f-k it, that's what i say. i will always help someone who's falling in the street or an old person who can't get around (first i ask them if they want help, since pple nowadays are very scared of other pple, you know how it is), but most of the time, im minding my own business, and others are doing the same. believe me, T, nobody really cares what we do.
T--you have empathy!! YOU DO!! i know you do, otherwise you wouldn't even be here, ok!!!!??? how many times have you been there for others who were in trouble, pain, asking for questions, and you've helped them, even though you were going through hell at the moment, huh???? if you were able to love at one time, T, YOU STILL HAVE THAT IN YOU!!!! you feel like it's flickering now, but it's there!!!!!!!!!!!!
and most of all, in my opinion, it is the person who has suffered the most that is able to be the most empathetic towards others, T--because, they know what pain is all about, they know what emptiness is all about, they know what loneliness and wanting to die is all about; they know what fear and despair is all about....
T--you've got sooooo much to offer, i dont even think you're aware of it. but i'm sure YOU WILL BE one day!! you will be!
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
