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Old 06-07-2007, 06:55 AM   #1
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 647
pucca_chick HB User
Arrow here we go again......

why is it just one thing after another with me, nothing ever just happens, it ****s up and i have to pick the peices up while running.

tomorrow im seeing my usual GP again. i feel tired, its such a bloody struggle to get someone to listen to what im saying and take it seriously, like actually consider it, not just nod at me and and then say the opposite.

i have no idea really what im in for. she told me if if i wanted i could go to another GP for a second opinion-now does that mean if the second opinion goes against her she will consider it?? or does that mean she wants me to leave because she still refuses, and maybe i should just work with the other GP???

im worried. i hate being flippin awkward , but does she think if i didnt need this or wasnt desperate id be going through this over and over again?? see what this other GP said totally contradicts what she said-that all meds are the same. im not interested if she was wrong, i dont care if she made a mistake, i just want her to forget it and focus on the solution and the problem, move forward and recognise this other GP's opinion. she might be even more ****** that im back at her, maybe she thinks im gloating, im not, im really not interested in competing with her, i just want HER help. as the other GP said-she knows my history and me better, thats my problem-ive opened up to her and its hard to do that with other people. im used to talking to her you know.she says she cant help sometimes, but she can, its frustrating because i feel like im showing her how to do it, but she isnt listening or just cant see it. all she has to do is listen and take ion board whats happening, and whats in my way, i dont expect a solutuokn or a magic wand from her, but just for her to recognise it and also a little support would go a long way, right now i feel like the entire system is against me here. its hard to be one person arguing with endless doctors-but its not like i want to, i just have no choice.

keira and i talked, she feels if my GP refuses again, this new one is hope at least. they may refer me elsewhere again, apparently the hospital i was at, is known for being crap(something my GP mentioned to me also). what i dodnt get then is, if we know theyre rubbish and she never approved of their assessments-why can we just not do the obvious and refer me elsewhere. i know itd be difficult, but for the sake of my health, and the fact nothing is getting better-could we not push for it?? to me theres soo many other options we never tried. i feel like all along they keep saying'dont give up, you have to try', but i seem to be the only one here pushing to get better, everyone else has suddenly taken to just sitting on their ***, they gave up not me. how can they expect me to maintain motivation when all i do is get knocked back on my face or left with no answers.

i can see me going tin tomorrow and her doing the usual, not blatantly refusing to discuss what she knows im there for but subtly pretending its not important or means nothing. like when i write her a letter, or i have explained what im there for and i go in and she goes'now, what can i do for you?', she knows exactly why im there. thr GP has written an entry about our appointment so she will know what im there to talk about. itll be one of those'yea...and' kind of looks i get from her, kind of like'and you expect that to make any difference?', im afraid shell just stick to her guns and refuse to even consider anything, i hate talking to brick walls, i dont have time to waste on jumping back and forth between docs, we are both wasting time if she just refuses point blank to listen to anymore i have to say. i feel like im the only one trying and she is just sitting there sighing with bordem, all it takes is just a little effort, you know even a suggestion from her would make me feel like she was helping, but when i go i just get nothing, i want it to be like the way it was before

i would also like to ask her exactly wat she talked about with the psych-the one who spent all of 2 mins with me and never asked me a question, just told me about my counselling im at. also, what emotional disturbance means, and also, regardless of the psychs-what does she think is wrong. because ive decided i just dont beleive the psyhs, i weighed it up realistically, between my numbing in the assessments, the fact they spent 30 mins with me in a not very in depth assessment, how can that be justified in reaching the conclusion-especially when what they suggest never works. why is it all half-assed??

well, im nervous about tomorrow, but also quite numb, im preparing myself for the worst reaction so i wont be let down, ill still be hurt cos everytime i see her it reminds me of how she changed and how alone i feel sometimes, but thats life, and i was really trying to distract myself with the idea that its not over and i wont be alone-with this new GP, but i get sent backwards again.and its going to look like i can running back, if she suggests this i will tell her i was trying to pick myself up and move things forward-but i was sent back, i didnt just burst through the door to be met by a wall of ice off my own accord for the craic.(im not gonna say it in those words obviously).

well, ill let you know how it goes afterwards anyways. thanks, xox
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Old 06-07-2007, 08:30 AM   #2
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MI
Posts: 263
jujubeez725 HB User
Re: here we go again......

Quote:
Originally Posted by pucca_chick View Post
why is it just one thing after another with me, nothing ever just happens, it ****s up and i have to pick the peices up while running.

tomorrow im seeing my usual GP again. i feel tired, its such a bloody struggle to get someone to listen to what im saying and take it seriously, like actually consider it, not just nod at me and and then say the opposite.

i have no idea really what im in for. she told me if if i wanted i could go to another GP for a second opinion-now does that mean if the second opinion goes against her she will consider it?? or does that mean she wants me to leave because she still refuses, and maybe i should just work with the other GP???

im worried. i hate being flippin awkward , but does she think if i didnt need this or wasnt desperate id be going through this over and over again?? see what this other GP said totally contradicts what she said-that all meds are the same. im not interested if she was wrong, i dont care if she made a mistake, i just want her to forget it and focus on the solution and the problem, move forward and recognise this other GP's opinion. she might be even more ****** that im back at her, maybe she thinks im gloating, im not, im really not interested in competing with her, i just want HER help. as the other GP said-she knows my history and me better, thats my problem-ive opened up to her and its hard to do that with other people. im used to talking to her you know.she says she cant help sometimes, but she can, its frustrating because i feel like im showing her how to do it, but she isnt listening or just cant see it. all she has to do is listen and take ion board whats happening, and whats in my way, i dont expect a solutuokn or a magic wand from her, but just for her to recognise it and also a little support would go a long way, right now i feel like the entire system is against me here. its hard to be one person arguing with endless doctors-but its not like i want to, i just have no choice.

keira and i talked, she feels if my GP refuses again, this new one is hope at least. they may refer me elsewhere again, apparently the hospital i was at, is known for being crap(something my GP mentioned to me also). what i dodnt get then is, if we know theyre rubbish and she never approved of their assessments-why can we just not do the obvious and refer me elsewhere. i know itd be difficult, but for the sake of my health, and the fact nothing is getting better-could we not push for it?? to me theres soo many other options we never tried. i feel like all along they keep saying'dont give up, you have to try', but i seem to be the only one here pushing to get better, everyone else has suddenly taken to just sitting on their ***, they gave up not me. how can they expect me to maintain motivation when all i do is get knocked back on my face or left with no answers.

i can see me going tin tomorrow and her doing the usual, not blatantly refusing to discuss what she knows im there for but subtly pretending its not important or means nothing. like when i write her a letter, or i have explained what im there for and i go in and she goes'now, what can i do for you?', she knows exactly why im there. thr GP has written an entry about our appointment so she will know what im there to talk about. itll be one of those'yea...and' kind of looks i get from her, kind of like'and you expect that to make any difference?', im afraid shell just stick to her guns and refuse to even consider anything, i hate talking to brick walls, i dont have time to waste on jumping back and forth between docs, we are both wasting time if she just refuses point blank to listen to anymore i have to say. i feel like im the only one trying and she is just sitting there sighing with bordem, all it takes is just a little effort, you know even a suggestion from her would make me feel like she was helping, but when i go i just get nothing, i want it to be like the way it was before

i would also like to ask her exactly wat she talked about with the psych-the one who spent all of 2 mins with me and never asked me a question, just told me about my counselling im at. also, what emotional disturbance means, and also, regardless of the psychs-what does she think is wrong. because ive decided i just dont beleive the psyhs, i weighed it up realistically, between my numbing in the assessments, the fact they spent 30 mins with me in a not very in depth assessment, how can that be justified in reaching the conclusion-especially when what they suggest never works. why is it all half-assed??

well, im nervous about tomorrow, but also quite numb, im preparing myself for the worst reaction so i wont be let down, ill still be hurt cos everytime i see her it reminds me of how she changed and how alone i feel sometimes, but thats life, and i was really trying to distract myself with the idea that its not over and i wont be alone-with this new GP, but i get sent backwards again.and its going to look like i can running back, if she suggests this i will tell her i was trying to pick myself up and move things forward-but i was sent back, i didnt just burst through the door to be met by a wall of ice off my own accord for the craic.(im not gonna say it in those words obviously).

well, ill let you know how it goes afterwards anyways. thanks, xox
I'm thoroughly confused as to why they won't let you change doctors/therapists!

I mean, is it your insurance company that's refusing your request? Because when it comes down to your health, you are supposed to find a doctor that you feel the most comfortable with; that you feel you can better entrust the care of your health too--not who THEY deem you should go to!

If I had a doctor/therapist that was as nonchalant and cold as yours sounds like, I'd have had my foot so far up their hind parts, we'd be walking home together!

 
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