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Old 06-07-2007, 03:12 PM   #1
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Prince1 HB User
Deppressed because im shy guy!

Hi im 16 and feel i suffer from deppression, and i think its down to being shy as it holds me back too much in life from dating etc. I dont know what to do, i want to go on meds (have this obsession they will be my saviour) but dont think i have a problem bad enough for them. If i think about how good my life would be without being shy i get really worked up and feel like suicide but dont think i would dare carry it out. I really dont think going to the doctor say i feel suicidle sometimes because im shy is a really relevant thing to do seeing as 50% of people are apparently shy, i just cant handle it i suppose. I heard paxil was to treat shyness at one point but apparently they have stopped prescribing it for that. Any suggestions about what i can do im desperate.
When i think i feel deppressed i get this like deep stress feeling with like emptyness and mabye a little anxiety. I hate it.
p.s im currently taking st. john's wort (not doing much).

 
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Old 06-07-2007, 04:07 PM   #2
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

Hi Prince, how do you feel about yourself? How are your social skills? Can you stand up for yourself? Dealing with shyness is learning new skills and discovering what messages that you tell yourself about yourself and your dealings with others.

 
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Old 06-07-2007, 04:14 PM   #3
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emeraldeyes114 HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

I tend to be really shy around those I don't know or know well. Most tend to think I am just snobbish which isn't true at all. Part of my problem has always been the negative self stuff your hear in your head. I mean this a bit of an example: if you say that they'll think your stupid, ok now they know you're stupid, i bet they see you're Bipolar, they don't wanna be a friend with a freak. That was just an example. I then had a talk at one point with my sister who is very outgoing and she told me that lots of times she is not nearly so sure of herself as she appears. That there are times when meeting new people she does get scared. So not everyone outgoing or not is comfortable all the time in every situation. Yeap Sannah asked some great questions too and hope you will answer them.

Eme

 
Old 06-08-2007, 05:54 AM   #4
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Prince1 HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Hi Prince, how do you feel about yourself? How are your social skills? Can you stand up for yourself? Dealing with shyness is learning new skills and discovering what messages that you tell yourself about yourself and your dealings with others.
Hey, i basically feel like im meant to be someone else, my emotions i just cant deal with im too mentally weak. My appearance i am fine with. I would say i have decent social skills, i do have some really good friends that prove i do have the social skills but certain people just make me feel nervous and my mind will go blank and i cant think of a thing to say. This is happening with a girl i really like and she likes me too but the problem is i have to rely on alchole for me to be able to have a conversation with her which can last for hours, without alchole i blush, sweat and talk really fast and just want to run away. I can stand up for myself in most situations but sometimes i just dont bother because i cant be bothered with the way people act towards me which is not narsty, but i feel too many people blank me and i dont understand why, i assume it because there mabye shy too. I feel i have a lack of social energy because i feel nakkered from talking to people (although i enjoy talking) like i just dont have the energy too, again i dont understand this.

 
Old 06-08-2007, 06:07 AM   #5
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince1 View Post
Hey, i basically feel like im meant to be someone else,

my emotions i just cant deal with im too mentally weak.

certain people just make me feel nervous and my mind will go blank and i cant think of a thing to say.
Hey Prince, your first sentence in the quote, sounds like you are not being yourself.

So you have a hard time dealing with your feelings?

Your last sentence up there, sounds like this is because you are not being yourself? Do you get distracted by the other person and you can't focus? Maybe try to strengthen your identity and have better boundaries between yourself and others and then you can focus on yourself more instead of people distracted by what you think others are thinking and feeling?

 
Old 06-08-2007, 07:58 AM   #6
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Hayley22 HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

Hi Prince, I am 22 now but when I was your age I was so shy and nervous at been around people and even upto this past year worried about speaking on phones ect please believe me (although I know this is of no use immediately) the older you get the more confident you seem to get too and life changes for you honestly - I was like you a little felt that it wouldn't but I look back now and don't know why I worried so much and that had I have been more confident then great in other words nothing to worry about shouldn't care what people think about you so long as you don't go out deliberately hurting peoples feelings then you as a person should hold your head high and not worry so much and enjoy life if you find it tough give yourself a break and know that it may take time but you will get there

Kind regards
Hayley x

 
Old 06-08-2007, 08:45 AM   #7
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Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldeyes114 View Post
I tend to be really shy around those I don't know or know well. Most tend to think I am just snobbish which isn't true at all. Part of my problem has always been the negative self stuff your hear in your head. my sister who is very outgoing and she told me that lots of times she is not nearly so sure of herself as she appears.

Eme
hey eme,

wow--that's exactly how i used to be at one point in time. but with time and experiences, i managed to get over it at least a little. although i remember high school. it was the worst. i was soooo shy, and the other girls alwasy thought i was a snob or something, when in fact i kept so much to myself for fear of actually opening my mouth. thank God for time, and people coming in and out of one's life.

for shy guy: you're not alone at all!!!!!!!! if you want to read a book about just this sort of thing, read the highly sensitive person , by elaine n. aron. it is easy to read and very good. the author considers herself a shy person but terms the shyness as "sensitive" -- it offers strategies on how to deal with things in life; how to choose a vocation for you, if you consider yourself a sensitive person, how to deal with work, how sensitive people behave in love relationships....it's really a good book. wish i'd had it when i was in high school and even college!!!

good luck to you, shy/sensitive guy!
__________________
Be kinder than necessary,
Because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle...

 
Old 06-09-2007, 03:28 AM   #8
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Toffee1 HB User
Re: Deppressed because im shy guy!

[QUOTE=Hayley22;3032903]Hi Prince, I am 22 now but when I was your age I was so shy and nervous at been around people and even upto this past year worried about speaking on phones ect please believe me (although I know this is of no use immediately) the older you get the more confident you seem to get too and life changes for you honestly - I was like you a little felt that it wouldn't but I look back now and don't know why I worried so much and

I felt exactly like Hayley around your age - I was an extremely shy person who would go inside myself with people I did not feel comfortable with and would not speak at all - I just sat quietly in the corner. I learned that it came with age that you become more confident or could make yourself feel more confident. You are still only young please do not put so much pressure on yourself. Have fun with your friends go out and enjoy yourself and take things as it comes. I know that is easier said than done but try relaxation techniques - deep breathing etc that always helped me to relax before I went out.

Warm wishes x x

 
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