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Old 06-09-2007, 09:34 AM   #1
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not sure if Im depressed, stressed, hormonal....?

My dad has dealt with clinical depression all his life and has just recently made a psychiatric appt. to get some help: hes 55.
I am very much like him, personality-wise. The thing is, our somewhat volatile relationship when I was young has affected my sense of security when it comes to romantic relationships- I have some slight abandoment issues ive started to notice, and Im really sensitive. The thing is, I am generally a confident person, I attract guys all the time...its just that when they become close with me, these issues start to emerge.
Ive been dating someone for close to 6 months, and we have our issues like anythign else. One thing Ive begun to notice is that I tend to feel very insecure a lot with him; he can be very critical...but sometimes I wonder if Im just being overly-sensitive self.
Recently, within the last 2-3 months, Ive noticed that I have really been just generally an emotional wreck. I cry at least a few times a week, either over my boyfriend, stress, or for no reason at all. There are days when my boyfriend can help and there are days when he can make it worse.
I have started avoiding my friends and I am at one of two extremes: totally busy or having free time and then I just lie around and am too apathetic to do anything.
I am on birth control and I wonder if its that- I take my birth control straight-through for 2 months and on the 3rd I take a week off to have my period, and recently I realized it messed up my menstrual cycle. I also get cold sores and recently Ive been getting them like, several times a month which is not supposed to happen.
I am very irritable often over nothing, and its funny because when I describe myself I think of myself as being laid-back, because, generally I am.
There are days when I eat nothing and days when I stuff myself, but I wouldnt say either one is consistent enough to be significant..but when I don't eat its because I feel depressed.
There have just been too many changes in my physical signs as well as my mood that Im starting to get really concerned. Its just that if I go into to see a psychologist about depression, I just don't really know how to describe exactly what I feel, and there's nothing that has exactly triggered this. Its just too consistent lately and Im not feeling much like myself anymore- Im feeling unhappy, stressed, emotionally unstable/irritable and/or confused.
Despite all this, Im still getting all of my responsibilities done, I go to work on time and do a good job and Im managing my life pretty well. I just don't know why I feel so sad and on the verge of tears all the time.
Thanks for your time.
*One more thing- just as an example, today its beautiful outside and I was walking home from an exam I had to take this morning. I started thinking of all the thigns I wanted to do today, and then I spoke to my boyfriend and I started talking about how I felt over a slight disagreement we had had. He was pretty dismissive and then told me he had to go, and I just started crying and turned off my phone and closed it in a drawer. I got in bed and wanted to stay there for awhile but then realized I was being irrational. Now I am goign to go outside and lay in the sun, but its like I have no desire to do the things I was thinking of doing and I just feel crappy.

Last edited by lady346; 06-09-2007 at 09:38 AM.

 
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Old 06-09-2007, 03:22 PM   #2
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Re: not sure if Im depressed, stressed, hormonal....?

Depression is funny in the way it can seem to come out of nowhere, this is very seldom the case mind you. Things that seem almost insignificant can build up over time and for whatever the reason it just lets go. If someone in your family suffers from major depression there is a good possibility you will too. A good doctor will be able to find the reasons that lie beneath and help you to deal with them in a proper manner. I don't know why you are going through this. The answer could be a combination of the three.

take care
trg247
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Old 06-10-2007, 06:18 AM   #3
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Re: not sure if Im depressed, stressed, hormonal....?

Quote:
Originally Posted by singleone24 View Post
The thing is, our somewhat volatile relationship when I was young has affected my sense of security when it comes to romantic relationships- I have some slight abandoment issues ive started to notice, and Im really sensitive.

I attract guys all the time...its just that when they become close with me, these issues start to emerge.

Ive been dating someone for close to 6 months, One thing Ive begun to notice is that I tend to feel very insecure a lot with him; he can be very critical...but sometimes I wonder if Im just being overly-sensitive self.

I also get cold sores and recently Ive been getting them like, several times a month which is not supposed to happen.

I spoke to my boyfriend and I started talking about how I felt over a slight disagreement we had had. He was pretty dismissive and then told me he had to go, and I just started crying and turned off my phone and closed it in a drawer.
Singleone, sounds like you have relationship issues to work out and this is what you need to do. If you feel that your bf is being critical, he is and it would be beneficial for you to work this out. Maybe you are not enforcing boundaries here? Speaking up for yourself and telling your bf that how he treats you sometimes is not okay with you. If you don't enforce your boundaries everyone will overstep them. It is your job to enforce your boundaries. No one else can do this for you.

The last paragraph up there, it sounds your bf didn't take your concerns seriously and this was upsetting?

You can learn what is going on here with yourself and understand it so that you can function in a relationship. Just be alert to what is going on and what YOU NEED with it and work from there. Keep posting. Oh yeah, you are probably getting more cold sores because you are really stressed out about this stuff.

 
Old 06-10-2007, 08:02 AM   #4
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Dakota_Skye HB User
Re: not sure if Im depressed, stressed, hormonal....?

hi,

i agree with what sannah wrote. stress can play havoc with our bodies and will definitely manifest itself in physical symptoms! i know it always does for me. besides that, being that your bf is 'critical' and dismissive (i know how that feels--my ex was very much that way, and my current one was dismissive up to a point) can make a sensitive person feel extremely bad and sad. everyone wants to be heard, especially by the people who matter to us. when i first confronted my current bf about things, i did it slightly, in a more "peaceful" and 'nice' way. i still wasn't being heard. i did this a number of times. it wasn't going anywhere. it was only when i became really upset, and things started to "stew" within me, and felt so very bad, that i said to myself i've had enough of this, and i really got disgusted with the whole thing. i thought why let this guy have his cake and eat it too (i know it sounds old, but it's still so true ), and i thought who the heck does he think he is to make me feel like crap...so, i put it straight on the table, spoke nicely but firmly, and let him know everything that i felt and expected and wanted. i felt so much better, you have no idea. i felt empowered. i felt in control.

so, my opinion is to tell your bf, in a nice, but firm way how you feel about his manners towards you and how you can improve your communication, so that you can both be happier in the relationship. if he has any sense / feelings, that is, he would realize you're not doing too well right now, with the way things are going, and he would be open to some sort of change, or at least try to ammend his ways a bit. perhaps he doesn't even have a clue as to how his words and actions impact you. some guys really don't. maybe they truly are from mars.
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