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NVD 06-09-2007 10:37 AM

An update
 
Yesterday morning, my daughter's surgeon called, and said that it would be a couple of weeks before the remaining tests could be scheduled. So, at last minute, we packed up, and headed for the airport.
On the way there, I decided that I need to take my families need into consideration, before going on my own little journey back home. After much thought and consideration, I decided to just go ahead and come home. My daughter was missing her dad and sister very much, and the fact that my husband felt like I chose our friends in Las Vegas over him and my two year old, really made me feel like ****. I know damn well that even being surrounded by good friends, I wouldn't be able to truly enjoy myself knowing that he felt this way. It wasn't a matter of chosing him or our friends...it was a matter of surrounding myself with people who might understand, and trying to figure out who I am, and where I really stand with life. But he just didn't understand that.
Anyway, As soon as we took off, the damn broke, and all the emotions flooded to the surface. I lost it. Those damn tears flooded from the time we took off, till the time we landed--five hours later. And the ironic part is...I was back in that numb state--I didn't feel happy, or sad, or anything. So I couldn't even explain why I was so emotional. Gosh, I must have looked like an idiot on that plane.
We made it home yesterday afternoon. It was a hard day. While I should have been releived to be home, with my husband and daughter, I was anxious, and nervous, and uncomfortable. Of course, my husband wanted "us" time, but I'm just not ready for that yet. I don't want to be touched. It has absolutely nothing to do with him...It really doesn't. And again, I can't explain it to him in a way that he will understand, because damn, I don't even understand. He has done nothing wrong. It's so not fair to him to have to put up with this. What the hell is wrong with me?? I just want to shock the hell out of everyone one day, and come on here and not have anything to complain about. I really hate feeling so negative.
Anyway, I've scheduled an appointment with the psychologist for Monday. We'll see what happens then. Maybe being home will get easier...I hope.

mary09 06-09-2007 07:16 PM

Re: An update
 
Amber hon,
You need to talk to your husband and explain to him what you went through while you were away. And what your daughter went through. Make him understand, that it was hard for you. You have been holding things together for your daughter while you've been away, it's time for him to take over that pressure and let you unwind. No doubt he is going through alot as well right now, but you've been doing the worst recently with all the tests, and you need a break. If no one will give it to you Amber, then go ahead and take it. Do what you have to, so you can have some "space" from the past days of watching your daughter go through all that. Even if it's just a couple of hours shopping to yourself and a coffee....anything, okay? And then just try and enjoy some time with your family away from hospitals. I'm so sorry you didnt make it home to some of your friends, but you should make it a priority in the near future. Putting yourself last All of the time is a recipe for disaster and in the end, will have the opposite effect of what you want, as you will be resentful. I'm glad you guys are at least getting a break from "tests"....I hope things will be a little calmer now that you're home.
And as always Amber, you know where to find us when you need us!
God bless girl!
Carsam:angel: :angel:

NVD 06-09-2007 09:25 PM

Re: An update
 
I'm in a hurry, but I wanted to post that I FINALLY have some good news to post about.
We received a call from the surgeon a bit ago, with the results from Sierra's CT scan.
The tumor has DISAPPEARED. It's gone, and there is no trace of where it even was. They don't know how or why it disappeared, or even where it went, especially since there was no treatment on that specific area, BUT...We're not going to complain. So, at least we can put this part behind us, and concentrate solely on getting her stomach fixed, and Kai'Lani's collapsing episodes taken care of! Thank God.

Sannah 06-10-2007 05:24 AM

Re: An update
 
Amber, so glad to hear the good news about your daughter! Amber, you are going to figure this out okay. You are going to figure out your feelings and work this out. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to figure out your feelings, who you are and what you need so just take the time to do this stuff, okay? And you are not complaining. You are just trying to figure out what is going on with you, so you come here all you want and just type away and stop thinking that it is complaining. You are just trying to get all of this stuff outside of yourself.

mary09 06-10-2007 08:57 AM

Re: An update
 
Amber, this is wonderful news for you and your family!!!!!! You are so deserving of good news and like you say you can concentrate on your daughter's stomach problems and hopefully soon this will be over for all of you!!!

Great news today!!!!!

Carsam:)

NVD 06-10-2007 09:44 AM

Re: An update
 
[QUOTE=Sannah;3035900]Amber, so glad to hear the good news about your daughter! Amber, you are going to figure this out okay. You are going to figure out your feelings and work this out. There is nothing wrong with you. You just need to figure out your feelings, who you are and what you need so just take the time to do this stuff, okay? And you are not complaining. You are just trying to figure out what is going on with you, so you come here all you want and just type away and stop thinking that it is complaining. You are just trying to get all of this stuff outside of yourself.[/QUOTE]

Thank you so much, Sannah. I'm glad you don't mind "listening" to me ***** all the time. I have a lot of work ahead of myself, trying to figure things out...so I hope you don't get tired of me in the mean time!

Thank you Carsam for your kind words. Yes, this has been wonderful news. While I'm skeptical of talking about miracles, I think this definitely fits into the "Miraculous" category, especially since medically, there was no reason for it to disappear. There have been THOUSANDS of people praying for her, all over the country and even beyond...maybe, just maybe this has something to do with it! It's been quite overwhelming, but we are more than thankful. It's one less thing to worry about!
Amber

Dakota_Skye 06-10-2007 01:46 PM

Re: An update
 
you know nvd, your thoughts about this whole thing parallel my own!!!
god bless! that's all i have to say. :angel: :)

Sannah 06-11-2007 07:20 PM

Re: An update
 
Amber, I will never get tired of you!

jujubeez725 06-12-2007 11:56 AM

Re: An update
 
NVD

I'm late on all the good news on your baby!
Great news to hear that tumor totally disappeared. That is wonderful!

Keep posting ... wanna stay up-to-date on things, okay?

NVD 06-12-2007 02:08 PM

Re: An update
 
Hey Thanks, Juju. I will keep posting.

jujubeez725 06-13-2007 08:52 AM

Re: An update
 
[QUOTE=NVD;3040576]Hey Thanks, Juju. I will keep posting.[/QUOTE]


See that? Now I got the "warm fuzzies". :) :bouncing:


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