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mtnmom62 06-13-2007 01:20 PM

Severely depressed son denies depression
 
My 18 year old son is seriously depressed. He has no motivation, , sleeps most of the day, hardly leaves the house, eats very little and is extremely skinny as a result (his former therapist says that he has an eating disorder) and he seems sad much of the time. He feels that the world is hopelessly doomed and often makes such statements as "it doesn't make any difference if I am here or not" or "the world wouldn't change if I weren't around". He asks for nothing and hasn't in years. It is almost as if he tries to be invisible. He was abused at his dad's house who lived in another state before I got custody of him at the age of 14. Counseling didn't help. He insists that he isn't depressed that he is just LAZY. He has never worked (because when he goes in for a job interview he puts off as much energy as Eeyore). I am a single mom who is living in poverty with my younger son who has bipolar disorder and I am not getting any financial support for him. Don't know what to do. Some ppl say that I should kick him out of the house but I literally think that he would probably just kill himself if I did that..and I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing to him anyway. Any ideas??? I want to get him help. But the last counselor that I took him too stopped after just 6 weeks because she didn't think that he was "working" hard enough.

stick2013 06-13-2007 04:14 PM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
I am so sorry that you and your sons are going through this. Your oldest sounds like sever depression is the case. The problem is....If he doesn't want to get better he won't. You could try and have him sectioned into a hospital through the courts. It's a thought.

I guess other than that just try being supportive, and tell him how much you care....

I do hope that things get better for you,

Sid

jujubeez725 06-14-2007 07:29 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
[QUOTE=mtnmom62;3042580]My 18 year old son is seriously depressed. He has no motivation, , sleeps most of the day, hardly leaves the house, eats very little and is extremely skinny as a result (his former therapist says that he has an eating disorder) and he seems sad much of the time. He feels that the world is hopelessly doomed and often makes such statements as "it doesn't make any difference if I am here or not" or "the world wouldn't change if I weren't around". He asks for nothing and hasn't in years. It is almost as if he tries to be invisible. He was abused at his dad's house who lived in another state before I got custody of him at the age of 14. Counseling didn't help. He insists that he isn't depressed that he is just LAZY. He has never worked (because when he goes in for a job interview he puts off as much energy as Eeyore). I am a single mom who is living in poverty with my younger son who has bipolar disorder and I am not getting any financial support for him. Don't know what to do. Some ppl say that I should kick him out of the house but I literally think that he would probably just kill himself if I did that..and I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing to him anyway. Any ideas??? I want to get him help. But the last counselor that I took him too stopped after just 6 weeks because she didn't think that he was "working" hard enough.[/QUOTE]

Mtn,

This almost puts me in tears. Your son doesn't even realize that he is very depressed; and you know, a lot of people will tell him that he's just "lazy". He isn't.

Stick has a point: He won't get better if he doesn't know he's depressed; he also won't get better if he sees a therapist and doesn't allow him/her to help him.
Legally, you can have him get the help he needs by having him placed in a hospital. Stick is right.

As for your bipolar child, are you getting any disability for him? You said you were "living in poverty" -- I wonder if maybe applying for disability may help you out (if you haven't done so already)???

mtnmom62 06-14-2007 09:26 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
Yes I am getting disability for my youngest son but I live in California and money doesn't go far out here. So we just try to get by. I am sure that my older son qualifies for disablity because his depression is well documented from his early teens. Besides that he has a disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome which causes back and joint pain. The problem is that I worry that if he goes on disablity without getting help for his depression he will just languish there forever with no motivation to get off of it.

jules3 06-14-2007 09:34 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
mom62, call your local hospital tell them you are afraid for his life and get their sugggestions.

Dakota_Skye 06-14-2007 10:12 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
hi mom,

wow, this is bad!! god bless you all! i don't know if you have a right to put him in a facility or hospital, but like the other poster said, if you say you are afraid for his wellbeing, maybe you can do something???

he does sound like he has clinical/severe depression. plus i'm sure that other disorder he has is making things worse all over. poor boy!!! therapy would help, but this boy definitely NEEDS some medications right about now!!!! he needs something to pull him out of this abyss he's in!!! to give him a bit of motivation to see beyond sleep and bed all day. and he needs a good therapist/psychologist, not someone who stops working with him because she "thinks" he's not working hard enogh!!!! that's b.s, in my opinion~~~ there are teen counselors and adolescent counselors, who specialize in dealing just with this population. there IS hope for your son!!!

and please don't listen to those pple who tell you to throw him out of the house. my god, i can't even begin to think. obviously, they know absolutely nothing about mental illness, or mental health for that matter. maybe someone should throw THEM out into the streets and see how they're gonna fare then!!!! you're a good mother who's struggling with life!!

i don't know what to say anymore. i wish i did. but i hope to God you'll find some more answers out there and that other people will post more ideas for you.

blessings to you!!:angel:

Survivor3 06-14-2007 10:53 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
Tough love is definitely not the way to go. Try a different counselor.

keyboardplaya 06-14-2007 11:04 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
I should make sure I read ALL of someone's post before posting a response. Sorry.

jujubeez725 06-14-2007 11:53 AM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
[QUOTE=Dakota_Skye;3044280]hi mom,

wow, this is bad!! god bless you all! i don't know if you have a right to put him in a facility or hospital, but like the other poster said, if you say you are afraid for his wellbeing, maybe you can do something???

he does sound like he has clinical/severe depression. plus i'm sure that other disorder he has is making things worse all over. poor boy!!! therapy would help, but this boy definitely NEEDS some medications right about now!!!! he needs something to pull him out of this abyss he's in!!! to give him a bit of motivation to see beyond sleep and bed all day. and he needs a good therapist/psychologist, not someone who stops working with him because she "thinks" he's not working hard enogh!!!! that's b.s, in my opinion~~~ there are teen counselors and adolescent counselors, who specialize in dealing just with this population. there IS hope for your son!!!

and please don't listen to those pple who tell you to throw him out of the house. my god, i can't even begin to think. obviously, they know absolutely nothing about mental illness, or mental health for that matter. maybe someone should throw THEM out into the streets and see how they're gonna fare then!!!! you're a good mother who's struggling with life!!

i don't know what to say anymore. i wish i did. but i hope to God you'll find some more answers out there and that other people will post more ideas for you.

blessings to you!!:angel:[/QUOTE]


Mtn, I didn't know he had another ailment! :(

He's got to get some kind of treatment, some kind of help NOW! ASAP!
He's just slowly vanishing away.

Skye,
I'm not sure of the laws in Cali, but here, I do know that if a person refuses medical help when they are clearly in need of it, or if they are not in a frame of mind to recognize that they are in need of medical attention, a person CAN get legal guardianship and make all medical decisions for that person--regardless of age. I know. I've had to do this for a relative that was in a near-fatal car accident and lost their memory.

How did I miss the "kick him out in the street" part?

I won't even comment on that! That's just ridamdiculous! :mad:

Mtn, get him some help anyway you can. Call the hospital emergency room and tell them you're afraid for his life and see what they say--they may send EMS out there.

mtnmom62 11-24-2011 05:04 PM

Re: Severely depressed son denies depression
 
Just a follow up...I married and me and three of my children (including my depressed son) live in Texas now. He is doing much better and is attending community college now. There is hope! He plans on studying engineering at a four year after he finishes his Spring Semester. He already has acceptance letters to two colleges in the state! My other child who deals with depression is also doing well on supplements and minimal medication. He works at a bowling alley nearly full time and loves his job. He still has some bad days but his boss is very understanding and patient. Thanks for the responses. \


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