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Old 06-15-2007, 06:28 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
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Debbe HB User
I Need Advice

This is my first post.I have clinical depression.My breakdown started three years ago when I found my beloved mother on the floor with excessive stroke.She is completely disabled.My brother convinced me she would get better care in wisconsin compared to chicago and I agreed.I was out of my mind at the time.He has put her in a rehab center in wisconsin and then after only two months decides its too much money,and takes her home.She was completely helpless,blind,incontenent.He made himself power of attorney and procedded to steal everything he could.I tried stopping him then he placed a restraining order on me.I am the only other sibling.He has disowned his children and has isolated her from all family and convinced her that we hate her.This has destoyed me,my marriage ,my life.Being betrayed by your entire family is a pain that cannot be described.I cannot remember anything about my past that would not bring me pain.I look in the mirror and I see her face.How do get past this and live again.I would turn the anger inside and hurt myself.Now I've turned it back against these monsters,but the depression doesn't stop.Is there anyone that can help me.I have seen a psychitrist and psycholgist.I was put on anti-depressents.The side effects were worse then the desease.I lost 50 pounds through diet and excercise hoping to get back my self esteem.My body is radically different but my mind is the same.There is no connection from body and mind.Please any advice.I will be hiring a lawyer soon but I know this will just hurt my mom,how do I let this go.Please any advice.i am at the end of my rope.If I fall off I don't know what I'm going to do.Thankyou for listening.

 
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Old 06-15-2007, 07:48 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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jujubeez725 HB User
Re: I Need Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Debbe View Post
This is my first post.I have clinical depression.My breakdown started three years ago when I found my beloved mother on the floor with excessive stroke.She is completely disabled.My brother convinced me she would get better care in wisconsin compared to chicago and I agreed.I was out of my mind at the time.He has put her in a rehab center in wisconsin and then after only two months decides its too much money,and takes her home.She was completely helpless,blind,incontenent.He made himself power of attorney and procedded to steal everything he could.I tried stopping him then he placed a restraining order on me.I am the only other sibling.He has disowned his children and has isolated her from all family and convinced her that we hate her.This has destoyed me,my marriage ,my life.Being betrayed by your entire family is a pain that cannot be described.I cannot remember anything about my past that would not bring me pain.I look in the mirror and I see her face.How do get past this and live again.I would turn the anger inside and hurt myself.Now I've turned it back against these monsters,but the depression doesn't stop.Is there anyone that can help me.I have seen a psychitrist and psycholgist.I was put on anti-depressents.The side effects were worse then the desease.I lost 50 pounds through diet and excercise hoping to get back my self esteem.My body is radically different but my mind is the same.There is no connection from body and mind.Please any advice.I will be hiring a lawyer soon but I know this will just hurt my mom,how do I let this go.Please any advice.i am at the end of my rope.If I fall off I don't know what I'm going to do.Thankyou for listening.
Sweetheart,

I went through something very similar some years ago in dealing w/an ill relative.

It's really a sad state of affairs when a brother or sister is dealing with the healthcare of another family member, and they are not doing things for the benefit for the person in need; but they find out what benefits THEM and proceed that way.

Now the damage has been done, in that he has said and done things to win your mother's trust so that it is only your brother that she will listen to. He merely took advantage of a bad situation, one where if your mother was in a better frame of mind, she'd know better. But she's not, and he's wrong for taking advantage of her.

As for you, also see a therapist to continue to discuss your feelings. This type of situation would surely send anyone to a therapist, b/c there are so many emotions you're dealing with... and you don't have anyone to talk to and listen to you OBJECTIVELY.

Get your health together before you take on the awesome task of fighting your brother on this matter. It will drain you, and you'll need your energy and strength whenever you deal with a sibling that wants total control over a parent that has become disabled.

 
Old 06-15-2007, 09:47 AM   #3
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emeraldeyes114 HB User
Re: I Need Advice

Juju said probably more then I could think of but I still wanted you to know that someone is listening and does care. I feel badly for all involved and it sounds as if your brother has issues himself in many ways. We had a relative who did similar but he tried to kill his mom in the process. The family was lucky and that it banded together and did what neeeded to be done. The reprocussions are still being felt years later. I hope you are able to do something for your mom. Take care of you.

Eme

 
Old 06-15-2007, 10:55 AM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MI
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jujubeez725 HB User
Re: I Need Advice

Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldeyes114 View Post
Juju said probably more then I could think of but I still wanted you to know that someone is listening and does care. I feel badly for all involved and it sounds as if your brother has issues himself in many ways. We had a relative who did similar but he tried to kill his mom in the process. The family was lucky and that it banded together and did what neeeded to be done. The reprocussions are still being felt years later. I hope you are able to do something for your mom. Take care of you.

Eme

but he tried to kill his mom in the process
Oh my God!!!

The reprocussions are still being felt years later.

It's something that never goes away... no matter how much time passes.

Last edited by jujubeez725; 06-15-2007 at 10:55 AM.

 
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