I am really sad to hear that you cancelled your appointment. I can relate to you totally. I was very unsure whether to go back to counselling and therapy after two failed attempts that did not work and where I could not be totally honest, I thought will it make any difference. I also have the concerns about money but I came to the decision that I needed to do something I was getting worse not better and soon I would make myself really ill and I bit the bullet and looked into seeing a counsellor again.
I was very nervous and anxious for the first session - I knew she would never judge me but I was worried that she would be good and would open up painful memories that I was trying to bury. But actually going to that first session made me realize that I wasnt ready back then and I didnt have the right person. Now I have found the right person I think I will gradually get better.
Inregards to money - I just had to find it - my health was more important. Please reconsider about going - whatever it takes, however you can do it. Dont feel like they are there to judge you - it just wasnt the right time for you - and now obviously is. Also why should you worry about what they think anyway - why should their opinion be important. Just think really strongly about what you do now - it is your decision but from my experience - it was the right thing for me to do to go back to counselling I wasnt coping on my own.
Warm Wishes x x x