Originally Posted by saphire82
Well thankfully just now about 7 missed calls and 4 sobbing messages later she finally told me on her last message she made an appointment with a psychologist, and Im so happy to hear that but at the same time dont trust that shell either go to the appointment or keep up with it. But already that takes a large load off my chest, just knowing that she's actually taking our advice (although reluctantly and still blaming us)
My issue is that Im having trouble determining if I really havent been there enough for her, its been really tough for me to even contact her on my own because when she calls me my heart just starts pounding and I get really upset and warm. I told her Im dealing with my own issues and tried telling her in a nice way that I miss the old her and would probably call her more often if she actually went and got the help that she needed but refused to get. Because after a while it was just way too much for me to handle and I couldnt make myself call her, I was just too afraid to and didnt want her to make me feel depressed.
I'm glad she decided to go ahead and finally get the help that she needs!
Yes, she's going to blame everyone else BUT herself for what has happened; but it's NOBODY'S fault.
It's not her
fault; it's not the kids'
fault that the husband/father left.
He did what he felt was best for him; now, I have the feeling it may come back to bite him in the butt... however, it's his choice -- however rotten it may be to your mom.
It is now up to her to make the best of her life and learn her own strengths now. Had this not have happened, she may never know how strong and resilient she is. She has to make her own choices in her life; essentially, she's learning to be the captain of her own ship. My issue is that Im having trouble determining if I really havent been there enough for her
You've done all you possibly can under the circumstances.
You also have to see to your own health and well-being. You mother is now learning that.
Some people want you to keep being their LP (as we used call it when we were kids).
An LP is a "Leaning Post".
A person winds up getting into a situation that forces them to stand on their own 2 feet and recognize that they have to do things for themselves. No matter how many times you told your mother she needed help for the situation she's in, she would continue to come to you when she has to learn to go and get the help she knows she needs.
Sounds like she was depending on you and your dad, in a sense.
Now she'll learn to depend on herself