I'm delighted to report that I've succeeded, for a couple of weeks now, in NOT calling or e-mailing family, friends, business associates, nor have I posted to ANY board how I am FEELING! Nor have I expressed how I FEEL to anyone in person. I actually had several days there in the midst of the past 2 weeks where I pretty much didn't FEEL! How wonderful. [Let me just say, I am in NO WAY recommending this approach to dealing with depression. It is physically painful, and I'm pretty sure it is self-destructive.]
But tonight some feelings have nearly overwhelmed me, so I'm here. If I don't just close my browser, if you are seeing this, you know that I'm still not tough enough to "shut it down". I keep remembering that movie starring Jessica Lange, about Francis Farmer. Was she happy after the lobotomy? Was she at least comfortable?
I think I'll post this. Not sure if I want help/support, or if I want to issue myself a challenge.
And I certainly don't expect that any of you will have a clue what I'm talking about. I may be completely insane! For the record, I'm not feeling inclined to do any of the following: hurt (kill) myself, hurt or kill others, send incriminating evidence of corruption (that I have) to any news publication...OK, I'm lying through tightly-clenched teeth about that last one...
Hi Lilc, Im sorry your going through such a hard time right now. I dont think by not shutting your browser down before posting it means your not tough enough. I think we all need the ability to feel we connect with someone, with anyone and that were not totally alone in this life and that even if its painful, its a good thing to open up to others and let them try to help or just be there to listen. I hope your feeling better soon. Take care!