mycatwillow

QUOTE "Do you think about doing any casual dating in the future? Or do you wait for chance to put you together with someone? I guess it might take a while for this but it will happen. The guy I dated last summer before I spiraled into the psych ward still fancies me and calls me regularly only for me it ended up just being sexual. And that will only carry one so far, it becomes empty and horrible feeling, a need is being fulfilled at the expense of any emotional gratification. I've always felt that I needed to be stable so that I could be in a relationship and I still feel that I have a lot of work to do. Isn't it important to be a "whole" person with something to offer or perhaps that's just a punk out to avoid intimacy. I know you said your insecurities kicked in, did your depression surface at all to cause a problem?? In the end timing is everthing, a friend of mine always tells me that "God has a plan for me". I always think relationships are inevitable, doesn't everyone end up with someone eventually??" QUOTE

Hi Positivity,

I've seen people start new threads when the subject has changed in the old one so I thought it was a good idea, since the one we had was started by someone else asking about periods and it changed into a conversation about dating. Sorry for taking over the old one! And please everyone, feel free to comment if you like.

I may do casual dating in the future, I don't know. I always thought I was a loser for being single, which put that much more pressure on me. Finally I'm at a point where I just don't care. It would be nice to meet someone, but who knows when and if that will happen. I don't want my self-esteem to rely on external factors anymore. Until I can get past that, I just can't have a healthy relationship. I mean, it hasn't worked for me in the first 39 years, so there's no reason to believe it ever will, not until I can change how I look at myself, which I think is finally beginning to shift, although it's definitely a slow process.

Looking at every guy you speak to as a potential romantic interest is just too much pressure. If someone does ask me out, and I find him interesting enough I will probably go but I will try to look at it as a day to day thing. I will try to look at the date as a chance to decide whether I want to see him again. I will not look at him and say "is he the one?" At the very least, I will get some practice so that if the right guy comes along, I will be ready.

As for my depression and low self-esteem, I think they go hand in hand. they both started when I was very young. I think the depression came first, but it's hard to know. I know that when the drugs were working my self-esteem was better.

This guy you dated last year, is he someone you can trust? Do you think you can have a casual relationship with this person, or has it definitely played it's course? Lots of people have casual relationships and move on when it doesn't work anymore. I agree that timing is everything. Just an example, if my self-esteem was better and my guy hadn't dated that other person, maybe we would be a couple. At the very least, I learned some valuable lessons. I still need some time though because it took a lot out of me. I just have no energy for this kind of thing right now. Maybe that sounds like an excuse to not take any risks, and maybe it is. But I don't care. I just want to feel like a worthwhile human being who has something to offer the world independant of any man.

I don't know if I'm being any help or not. It's all so complicated.

By the way I had to edit my post because I accidentally pressed the post button when I meant to press the preview button. I keep doing that!

I am going to go now, because it's a sunny day which we haven't had too much of lately and I want to get outside. I hope everyone has a good day!