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Old 08-03-2007, 10:47 AM   #1
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Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

It might sound very negative, but do you ever think you have got used to it? Used to youself being down, sad, lack of energy, can't sleep well, avoiding people etc.? I have been feeling like this a lot lately, I fear this is a bad sign, I am not saying I am giving up, but I have stopped questioning, stopped asking why am I like this, and start thinking maybe this is me, this is the way I am supposed to be. I have started to accept the 'new' me. Which I suppose it's not a good thought, but...

Does anyone feel the same?

 
Old 08-03-2007, 11:57 AM   #2
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Hi Neighbour,Hi All,The L here...This is an interesting point you make and I'd like to spout a little about it.
I bet you anything that before you actually knew you were suffering from the big D that you always knew 'something' was amiss.not quite right but could never put your finger right on it?
Remember that feeling..horrible wasnt it.confusing.
I acutally think that when we aknowledge we HAVE depression(and associated side shoots) its a massive positive step.It is...the acceptance of the cards you were dealt and then part of your life from then on is DEALING with the problem.
Before I was diagnosed I was hopelessly confused(without meds I tend to wander back there) and that confusion made me do strange things as I didnt know what was wrong with me and I was trying to find out.As sometimes funny or bad those things were,I remember how hellish I felt inside and now..
I LIVE with my depression and accept that things are different for me and sometimes harder compared to the undepressed.And that...is ok with me now.

When I was off my meds recently,I slipped back terribly into the old mindset and I asked myself all the time.." Am I just supposed to be depressed all the time,anxious,worried and avoiding social situations.Is that jsut me,cos if so then I want out?"
This is the depression talking.Now Im back on my meds and they are starting to work again,I know all those things still about myself but the difference is I can concentrate on other things which are more positive and I enjoy...

Ok Im lucky at the moment as my meds are working again but as mixed up as you are right now please work on yourself..look after your self and if your meds arent working please persevere to try different ones from the doctor..work with them not against them..they dont know the answer ,all these meds are experimental.One works the other doesnt.

London can be a cruel place somtimes but I got faith in you Extra

The L

 
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Old 08-03-2007, 08:39 PM   #3
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExTra111 View Post
...but do you ever think you have got used to it? Used to youself being down, sad, lack of energy, can't sleep well, avoiding people etc.?
Absolutely NOT! I have fought this battle since I was a very small child...I hate it, will always hate it, but it is who I am and all I can do is stay with my therapy, play the cards I have been dealt, and take meds to help me get through the days. Also, it is important for me to remember that avoiding people is exactly the opposite of what I need to do.

Avoiding life outside my home is not a good thing for me or for anyone. I have learned over time that I feel better at the end of the day if I participated in the life outside. I am usually glad I participated. I did this on Sunday with a friend who is hard to get close too since she talks 90% of the time you are with her. I endured the day and was glad I did. I got out of the house, smelled the fresh air and lived.

When I moved a couple of months back, I was fortunate to have moved into a place that has a full glass storm door on the front and rear. Now that I am home so much...ugh...one of the first things I do each morning is open the back door and the front door. The glass storm doors allow the busy sidewalk life to come into my home. I can see the trees better, the squirrels, plants, sky, etc. I can see life happening!

 
Old 08-04-2007, 06:27 PM   #4
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Hey ExTra my pal. I'll never get used to this illness. I've been on ADs since 1994, but I know had severe depression before that. When my pills are working and I feel OK I still say I have depression, but I guess I sort of forget how bad it can be. When my depression comes back I remember what depression really is. It's a physical, mental hell that I wish nobody had to endure. It's not just a sadness, you can't just cheer up. When I'm feeling OK that's just it - I'm OK. I'm functional, but I wouldn't say happy. I never feel 100% comfortable in this world. Even though I'm just OK at best I'd much rather be OK than depressed. If that's the best I can feel, I'll take it.

 
Old 08-05-2007, 04:22 AM   #5
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

I have. In a way, i almost think it's a good thing. I have found that desperatly seeking happiness, almost exacerbates the problem. I have sort of excepted the fact that i am depressed, and with that, coming to terms with it, accepting it, has made me more able to cope with it, and then i feel better and calmer with that fact.

 
Old 08-06-2007, 11:49 AM   #6
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

I KNOW I've gotten used to being the way I am. The only time I question it is when I'm at the point of having hysterics. Otherwise I just think this is all "normal" for me because I've been living with it my whole life. I was born this way. I don't think I'm taking my meds to make myself better anymore; I'm taking them so I can function.

Last edited by Alex6657; 08-06-2007 at 11:50 AM.

 
Old 08-06-2007, 07:16 PM   #7
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Hi:

My doctor like to ask if anything unusual has happened since the last visit. Suicidal ideation, self injury, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, voices and the list goes on are not unusual at least not anymore. I will go through periods where I am just exisisting and for some reason my brain takes this as being ok. Extended happiness would freak me out as I don't have a clue how to handle it yet I can watch a plate go around the room without blinking an eye. You just get to a point where you reach a level where your mind is somewhat at ease. My exwife asked me how I was doing one day and I said I was fine, she then asked how many times I had thought about suicide that day and I told her four or five, then she wanted to know about visual and auditory hallucinations and again the number was four or five and then she wanted to see the burns on my hands and the cuts on my arms. She could not figure out how I could be "fine" yet experiencing all of this abnormal behaviour but to me it was a normal day.

take care
trg247
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Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
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Old 08-07-2007, 08:41 PM   #8
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Quote:
Originally Posted by trg247 View Post
Hi:

My doctor like to ask if anything unusual has happened since the last visit. Suicidal ideation, self injury, delusions, paranoia, hallucinations, voices and the list goes on are not unusual at least not anymore. I will go through periods where I am just exisisting and for some reason my brain takes this as being ok. Extended happiness would freak me out as I don't have a clue how to handle it yet I can watch a plate go around the room without blinking an eye. You just get to a point where you reach a level where your mind is somewhat at ease. My exwife asked me how I was doing one day and I said I was fine, she then asked how many times I had thought about suicide that day and I told her four or five, then she wanted to know about visual and auditory hallucinations and again the number was four or five and then she wanted to see the burns on my hands and the cuts on my arms. She could not figure out how I could be "fine" yet experiencing all of this abnormal behaviour but to me it was a normal day.

take care
trg247
trg247,

I agree with you. I have been feeling this way for so long, I don't even know what it feels like not to feel this way. If I do have something good happen in my life, I start thinking negative thoughts that something bad is going to take the happiness away, as it usually does. I think it is a coping mechanism. I have to fight daily the urge not to harm myself even though the thought runs through my mind on a daily basis. I try to stay busy so I won't focus on these thoughts. I dare not tell my doctor or I will be back in the hospital. They just don't understand that you can't take these thoughts out of your head but that doesn't mean you will act on them.

Last edited by Happy Days; 08-07-2007 at 08:43 PM.

 
Old 08-08-2007, 02:14 PM   #9
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Re: Do you ever think you have got used to your depression?

Depending on how severe my depression is how I see myself. On days when I'm down and I can't find any tricks to changing my mindset the depression seems a part of me as it is controlling my life. When I come up for air and can breath easy with little or no depression my hope tells me that I won a round against depression. The more I work on myself and make discoveries in therapy about my skewered thinking the more positive I am about the ups and downs of depression. But you see, when depression comes to visit for an extended period of time it takes too much energy to fight and so it becomes the norm in which it becomes a part of me. But I guess just like a job doesn't define a person, neither does depression even though it may seem like it.

 
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