Sorry but... I'm cutting again. Its such a release of the emotional turmoil going on inside me at times. Had an appointment with my psychatrist today. She knows about me cutting. Says I NEED to be in therapy. I used to like my counselor but this last time I called her she seemed more concerned about how I would pay her then with my cutting my self. So psychatrist says its time to find a new one.
SIGH........I hate this..... ...LAST thing I want to do is go back to therapy. I tell her I can't afford it and you know what she says to me ..."You have to decide whats more important.....your mental health or money." This is true. Mental health is more important and right now I feel mentally ill after talking with her. I just dont' know how I'm going to pay for therapy again. I'm doing the best I can at my job. Working as many hours as I can. But its NEVER good enough.
I'm so tired of seeing doctors, meds, talking about how I feel for the past 2 years!
Well, I'm just venting for the most part. I know SOMEONE here understand exactly how I feel. Thanks for reading. I should go to bed...get some sleep.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. (((hugs))) Have you ever tried going to a therapist that offers reduced fees based on what you can afford? For example, my therapist only charges me $30/session. Her normal fee is about $150, so obviously she's giving me a huge deal. They're out there, you just have to do some digging. Although I don't cut (sometimes I have thoughts of doing it, though, especially lately), I used to self-injure alot by hitting myself in the head or banging it into the wall. So, I can sort of understand the cutting. I suffer from eating disorders (mostly anorexia) and my therapist says that if I talk about my problems, instead of holding things in, then I'll be less likely to self-injure by starving myself. Does that make sense?
Last edited by kittywitty; 08-10-2007 at 07:49 PM.
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad that you're cutting yourself. Do you have any insurance thru your job? What about local county or social services? I've heard about the sliding scale also. Please take care of yourself! I worry about you a lot.