I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. (((hugs))) Have you ever tried going to a therapist that offers reduced fees based on what you can afford? For example, my therapist only charges me $30/session. Her normal fee is about $150, so obviously she's giving me a huge deal. They're out there, you just have to do some digging. Although I don't cut (sometimes I have thoughts of doing it, though, especially lately), I used to self-injure alot by hitting myself in the head or banging it into the wall. So, I can sort of understand the cutting. I suffer from eating disorders (mostly anorexia) and my therapist says that if I talk about my problems, instead of holding things in, then I'll be less likely to self-injure by starving myself. Does that make sense?