| | here we go again
well im back from my hols-it was long and tedious, scattered with fights and arguements, my dad swearing at my brother and all the rest. but im home now and cant be more glad.
i got sick on hols but hid it from eveyone. remember i mentioned my doc gave me period pills to stop it coming-yea, didnt work. i was getting cramps for 2 weeks prior, then next thing bang there it is. sorry for the gory info, i ended up not going to the toilet for 5 days, then got dihorrea, then got excuciating cramps all through my body. i felt so sick and ready to throw up. then i had an upset stomach most of the holiday, i woke up in the middle of the night feeling like id been punched hard in the stomach, i spent a while hovering my head over the toilet bowl, back and forth which just added to the exhaustion with lack of sleep. then any time i drank alchohol i got heartburn that went deep into my chest, down into my stomach and even across my shoulders onto my arms. then i got mouth ulcers.
so i spent a great deal of time rather heavily medicated. i was still taking the period pills 3 times a day, 4 anti botics throughtout the day, 2 ibobrufen throughout the day, anti-sickness tablets for car sickness, munched on rennies for stomach and heartburn, and plastred my entire mouth with freezing gel. i felt like the walking dead, it was 100 degree heat and i was being trailed all over cities in agony and on the verge of vomiting,. trying to control what i eat so i didnt end up with severe dihorrea-in america thats hard when i dont like much types of food.
but now im home and im just back to the usual nausea and occasional toilet problems. im exhausted. i got home friday afternoon,went out and drank, almost threw up on a bus. then worked 9 hours the next day having had 6 hours sleep after tarveeling 24 hours and being sick, then last night i slept 4 hours and worked again today, im up all night tonight and im working tomorrow. im meant to be going out this week and wont get much sleep at all, all thats waiting is alchohol and grass. i know ill be absolultley diabolical but it just happens-i dont even care anymore.
i came home and slept in soaking wet clothes after getting caught in the rain for a few hours. i havnt really eaten due to jet lag, im aching, im stinking and then i cut last night again.
i see keira thank god on tuesday. then on wed i see my doc also thank god, for the new anti depressants, i also want to find out why those pills never worked and why the hell i got so sick.
im also broke, have no housing planned,have no student loan, have no cash to buy books with, cant keep up with this years work and hate my job. so all in all its just my average crappy day.
hows everyone else?? sannah/dakota-hows things??
My hands are small
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken