I'm really depressed today...I shouldn't be, for I got a lot done. However, I was just stumble a few sites and came across a few blogs with comments that offended my beliefs. I wish they would just not say anything at all.
Then I got to thinking about how I don't have any friends, because my peers are obnoxiously immature. I'm 20 years old, with a social age of at least 30. I'm very responsible, and I cannot figure out why people my age need to be rebellious. I was told in high school that I will find people with common interests to mine in college...this is my third year, and so far, I have found no one. Should I ease up on my standards on people? I've got to thinking that my fiance and I are superior to those our age, because of our maturity.
Somedays, I wish I had others to relate to, and other days, I wish people would just grow up and shut their mouths. I am in this exhausting dilemma and can't find peace. I want friends, but I just end up so frustrated at their lack of conscience. I feel like an outcast, but I refuse to come down to their level just to be accepted. Does anyone know what I mean?
I had the same problem when I was in high school, however, I did not think that I was superior to my peers, I just thought that I was different. Very often my interests were far from theirs, I mean, smoking, drinking, all that teenage stuff I never understood and was against it. Maybe it's just the way I was brought up by my mom, or maybe because I am different. Anyway, I wasn't without friends, and no matter how strange it would seem, my friends were twice of my age. And that's okay, they were comfortable with me and I was comfortable with them. And I really enjoyed their company, I felt like I'm in my shoes. So, if you think that people of your age are not compatible with you, just find some older ones. The older the person, the more reliable and serious he is, and he/she can teach you a lot. I must confess, however, that sometimes in order to avoid bullying from my peers in school, I had to behave like them, but I always knew that inside I'm a different person.
Please take this as the advice that it is and nothing else. I used to be a lot like you. I thought of myself as superior to others because they were immature, drank and acted stupid, used stupid "cool slang" amongst themselves, had immature in-jokes, etc. As I got older I realized that I wasn't superior and didn't want to be. Feeling that way was my defense mechanism so I could tell myself that it was okay that I had no friends. I couldn't make friends because they weren't on "my level." It rationalized my being alone.
I'm not saying this is you, but I wonder what really bothers you about the way people your age act?
The other thing that reminded me of myself was getting upset or depressed over other people's opinions if they differed from my own views and beliefs. I used to get really worked up, but now I think everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and not everyone agrees with mine either. It's so not worth my time to be upset, angry or sad over something someone else thinks or says. In fact, I learn a lot from taking in other's views. For instance, I watch those right wing pundits on tv, and find that sometimes I think they are so wrong, but other times they make me think, even if they don't sway me with their opinion. I find I'm more relaxed than I was when I was younger, because I just think, well, I'm me and you're you. Live and let live. Sorry for the cliches! Just wanted to share.
I know where you're coming from with this. I feel the exact same way. were the same age actually.
I know people seem really obnoxious and moronic sometimes. I know its frustrating.
It is a defense mechanism, in some ways. Honestly, some people are just so freaking wrong sometimes that it can be frustrating. Though that is MY OPINION and I am entitled to it.
I don't have any friends either. I find it hard. Even when I try to make friends, all this, like I will see how immature they can be. Its defense. You build yourself up. Tare them down. So you can feel that you are RIGHT. That you somehow are better. That isn't necessarily true.
Yes! I know what you mean! I work with a group of people who never fail to surprise me with their high school ways. I want to yell "grow up"!!! I cant bring myself to be friendly with them and then feel lonely. But I also dont want to come down to their level to be friends with them.
Perhaps I should have been more clear on what they said in those ****.
I think what also sets me apart from my peers is the fact that I have my own place and am going to get married in May. My social age is a bit higher then 20, and it made my last friend uncomfortable.
My fiance and I think the habits of people my age are dangerous, like binge drinking and reckless driving, and that is what pushes me away. Our conversations are more intellectual it seems. My fiance and my last friend told us that we were boring and ditched us. She told my fiance this and wouldn't tell it to my face, because I make her nervous with my mental illness. We weren't heart-broken, we tried to please her but knew we weren't being true to ourselves.
Thank you for the replies. I will be getting some counseling soon to work on this, but in the meanwhile, thanks.
Sannah, those people weren't just offering their opinions, they were making fun of me with nasty words and namecalling. I don't appreciate you suggesting that I don't believe in free speech.
You didn't make it clear in the first post this was the case that's why. I agree with you that there are some *******s on the net who act in this abusive way. I think that in the real life they can't be that way so they think they are safe doing it online.
I have always been socially older than my actual age. And at times I did feel like I was better than everyone else but that has changed as I have understood people better. From the time I was little I made friends with people who were older. I can remember even in elementary school hanging out with kids 3+ years older than me. Now my husband and I are closest with people who have kids that are our age because these are the people we connect best with. So my advice is to not limit yourself to friends your age (although don't stop looking there because there are more of us out there).
I also think it is wonderful that you are engaged to a guy who matches your social age.