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Old 08-17-2007, 05:26 AM   #1
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Faking happiness

Who hides his/her depression and pretends to be happy in real life? And why do you do that?

 
Old 08-17-2007, 06:38 AM   #2
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Re: Faking happiness

I do. I think it is because I feel everyone is tired of hearing about me and my health problems (as there are several). I try to pretend I am not in pain, and that I am extremely happy. Then, as soon as I am alone with my family, I just break down, and have extremely angry spells. Not very good.I just want to trully be happy again.

 
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Old 08-17-2007, 07:07 AM   #3
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Re: Faking happiness

Hiya,

I do hide it - I think that is a very common thing amongst people with depression. I don't know exactly why I do it, some sort of fear that people won't understand or that they will get too worried about me. Most people I just can't really talk to at all. I also hide it behind jokes - if I feel bad then I might talk about it in a 'funny' way, make a joke out of it.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 08:41 AM   #4
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Re: Faking happiness

I don't talk about my depression, anxiety and eating disorder unless somebody trustworthy brings it up. (The only thing anybody asked me about was the ED.) I work in a professional setting and fear that if people knew they would label me as "nuts" and it would hurt my career.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 03:13 PM   #5
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Re: Faking happiness

I guess you could say that...I think everyone does it.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 04:24 PM   #6
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Re: Faking happiness

I do a lot of times. I don't let on to how bad I feel and my parents remain oblivious. But, my grandmother noticed that I wasn't the same and asked my parents about it.

 
Old 08-17-2007, 05:05 PM   #7
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Re: Faking happiness

I have been doing this for years and the simple reason being unless you want to spend the majority of time alone this is what you have to do. People are supportive in the beginning but if they do not see any improvement they tend to slowly disappear so you fake it. To those who are closest to me I fake happiness so they do not worry. My Mother takes my disorders very personaly lives a long way away so I do not see the point in telling her something that may cause her to worry. Every once in awhile I will slip and answer one of her questions with the real answer but for the most part I keep her in the dark. My Mother knows I am not telling her everything but she also knows why I do it, I guess you can call it lying with permission. Faking happiness is just another part of depression.
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Old 08-17-2007, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: Faking happiness

I thought I have got over the feeling ashamed stage, but when I went for my eye test the other day, they asked me if I am on any meds, I instantly said why do you need to know? I also said it has nothing to do with my eyes. But they wouldn't just leave it, so I had to tell them in the end, I was soooo ahsamed of myself...

A lot of my friends, I mean my real friends know I am depressed, but then I still pretend I am happy when I see them. I guess we all do it, don't we? People at work dont know about it, so they just simly think I am tryign to be cool not talk to them from time to time. One time I was doing something weird, and someone said I am crazy, and I should go see a Pdoc and get so Prozac... well, it was ironic, coz I just had an appointment with the Pdoc and I am on Prozac... coz I cant tell them the facts... but I had to pretend he was offending me by saying I was mad... it was just so ironic...

Yeah, so I guess I fake a lot as well, a lot of people think I am as good as I used to be. Only bcoz I hold on to my tears until I get into my bed; only bcoz I put my shaky hands in my pockets so they dont see it; Only I carefully choose where to cut and have them all covered up; and only because I don't see the point of upsetting people, coz I know they care about me as much as I do to them...

 
Old 08-18-2007, 12:48 AM   #9
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Re: Faking happiness

only a few close people to me know im on anti-depressants...when I told a close cousin of mine his first words were "cuz...please be careful" he has had a personal experience with them and doesnt want to see the same happen to me....

Otherwise I do hide it....im sure plenty of people look at me and wouldnt think twice...I guess it makes it easier for me so I dont have to explain. And like others have said, some people just dont look at anti-deps as an option.

 
Old 08-18-2007, 01:57 AM   #10
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Re: Faking happiness

I'm actually cheerfull most of the time, but at other times I put on a mask because I'm sick of people telling me to cheer up.

 
Old 08-18-2007, 03:27 AM   #11
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Re: Faking happiness

Hi everyone...

Try to look at this way: I'm "pretending" to be happy because I want to make A CHANGEto my life.

I've just finished reading this book called, "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and I strongly encourage you guys to do so. READ IT, PLEASE! If you can't afford this book, you can always borrow it at the library or just go to a bookstore and read it there.

Although the concepts mentioned in her book are "old" and I know some other self-help authors had mentioned them in their books - somehow, I was totally drawn by what she said. Maybe its because I also watched the DVD version of her book as well.

Anyway, these two phrases keep coming back to me:

"YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT"

and

"YOUR THOUGHTS DETERMINE YOUR EXPERIENCE"


Those two phrases are really really true. The more depress I be - the more misery life would throw at me.

Why is that the RICH gets RICHER?

WHy is that people who are close to bankruptcy and manage to BOUNCE back up again? Without me giving you the names, there's this author who writes success stories and used to live in lavished lifestyle but later ended up bankrupted due to his trusted friend , and NOW, he's a millionaire again.

Again - there's this female single - who's a diva and has managed to obtained 1# in every charts...but then, she became unpopular (poor actress, poor song choices)...and now she's popular again with a change of image and songs.

And WHY is the POOR gets PORER?

AND WHY is that Successful people keep telling us to steer away from those depressive people if you want to be SUCCESSFUL?

All of those comes FROM our thoughts. Our thoughts makes us who we are TODAY!!!!

Those concepts are based on the law of Attraction....I don't agree with it fully, but I do know that most of the concepts are TRUE.

ALL my life - I was feeling helpless, and depressive because of a) no friends b)because I was shy c) because of poor self-esteem.

And now, at the age of 30...I realized that I no longer that 20 year old guy anymore.

TIME IS MY MORTAL enemy here. The more depress I get - the more time would be wasted.

I've been depressed in the hope that someone would SYMPATHISE me...that someone would come to me and give my a hand...or that God would send me a guardian angel or some kind....BUT NO!!! None of those events ever happen.

So I promised from now on ways.. I don't want to waste any minute of being sad and miserable. I don't need to live up to people's expectation. This is my life - why do I keep comparing myself to other people? WHY AM I TORTURING MYSELF by FEELING SAD? IS it WORTH IT?

I was really sick at one point....when I was SOOOO sick - I actually prayed to God that I would do things differently if only I could walk back again. Although I still have osteoarthritis...but I am thankful that I don't need to use crutches...and can walk again. Everyday is slowly improving though I might need to have a surgery at a later date but for the time being I should make the most of what I have.


Yesterday, I went to my car at the carpark, and these hooligans in another car were yelling and laughing, " are you leaving?" and I said, " yes" and they were all cheering and stuff like that. I felt very uncomfortable. But then I told myself, I shouldn't feel this way because every person is different.It's what makes this world interesting. I am a quiet natured type of person whereas those people were wild hooligans. And most importantly, it's not that I will be seeing them again.

So being happy is a CHOICE. And so is being depress. Why torturing yourself by being depress? Is it worth it? Although I may not have friends...but waking up each day to see and hear the birds chirping or the roses leaving out again makes me realise that life is worth living. I don't need to live up to other people's expectation - but I'll try to do things to improve on my life. It's time to make a change. I don't want to be 80 years old and live in a life filled with regrets again. We WILL TURN 80 eventually unless OFFCOURSE.

Last edited by jimmyhonda; 08-18-2007 at 03:44 AM.

 
Old 08-18-2007, 09:01 AM   #12
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Cool Re: Faking happiness

I have always "acted" happy, whether I am or not. Maybe not 100 percent of the time, but if you smile and act happy, you are much more likely to get positive responses from others and maybe make new friends if you like. There is a saying in nursing, "fake it till you make it", and I think it holds true with depression.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting on a happy face!!!

I wish you the best!!

karen51

 
Old 08-18-2007, 10:31 AM   #13
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Re: Faking happiness

Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmyhonda View Post
So being happy is a CHOICE. And so is being depress. Why torturing yourself by being depress? Is it worth it? Although I may not have friends...but waking up each day to see and hear the birds chirping or the roses leaving out again makes me realise that life is worth living. I don't need to live up to other people's expectation - but I'll try to do things to improve on my life. It's time to make a change. I don't want to be 80 years old and live in a life filled with regrets again. We WILL TURN 80 eventually unless OFFCOURSE.
Great post jimmyhonda!

I too fake happiness, but it is so hard to do when I'm tired so much of the time... and then sometimes the dark thoughts start --- "why bother even working at getting better and being happy if I'm going to die someday anyway?" Where do these thoughts come from? How do I stop them?

 
Old 08-18-2007, 10:04 PM   #14
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Re: Faking happiness

Depression or not, I feel that everyone does this at some point. I do all the time. When around others, I'm pretty much wearing a mask to hide my depression, especially since I fear annoying people with anything in reference to my being depressed. It brings others down and runs people off...that's my impression anyway, so yep, I "fake" happiness sometimes, just so that people who are encountering me, moods don't go down themselves.

Last edited by ssjup81; 08-18-2007 at 10:06 PM.

 
Old 08-22-2007, 05:39 PM   #15
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Re: Faking happiness

I pretend to be happy so that others don't realize just how bad my depression is.

Teresa

 
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