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Old 08-18-2007, 12:21 PM   #1
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LoveCountry HB User
Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

I had a nervous break down last night, so I think. I dont even know anymore, what is depression, and what a nervous break down is.

All I know is, I totally felt out of control, I felt like I had no idea what I was going to do, what my purpose was, why I was here/there, and where I could go. I was crying hysterically, I even hyperventilated.

I am having 2 chronic issues right now, that cause me what I call crippling pain. I'm not wheelchair bound, or anything like that, but - it truly effects my day to day life. One is not as big of a deal, but at this point will require surgery - I just found out yesterday - and I'm not looking forward to that, and it's not like I can just say nevermind. I need it fixed - or else I'll continue the pain for the rest of my life. I was so mad when I heard the "surgery" news - I forgot to ask how the recovery was, and what the success rate was. So, who knows - maybe that is not even worth it!

Then, the other - supposedly there is no cure for that. I've gone through so much treatment for it, and it's STILL not helping. I think I am being referred to a Pain management doctor, next.


Then of course, you've got my Anxiety. Which never lets up. EVER. I ran out of Lexapro yesterday, so b/c of my mood last night - I did not have it refilled, and probably won't. And, I know that you're not just supposed to abruptly stop taking these kinds of medicine - but, I can't afford it anymore. I just can't.

I am married - but, now my husband is giving me grief - and lots of it, for the problems I am having. We got another bill in the mail last night, and he opened it, it was for $180.00 and he threw it at me and said not so nice words, and then hasnt talked to me since. Yes, we have Insurance. But what good are they. They suck!!!

My husband even makes good money. We live in a nice house, we have nice things. But, things like this - medical bills, my husband has ABSOLUTE FITS over.

So, I told him last night - I will not go get my medicine refilled (Lexapro), and I won't have any more treatments to resolve my other issues. And, he said "Good".

So, that is when I had my nervous breakdown.

I almost called the ambulance to come get me, and take me to the hospital and load me up on something to take away the pain (mental and physical).

But, I'm too embarassed to call them for that. And, there is no way my husband would take me. He would just tell me how much that would cost, and complain and whine and give me a hard time.

I am soooo confused. What do I do? Thanks for listening.


Last edited by LoveCountry; 08-18-2007 at 12:21 PM.

 
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Old 08-18-2007, 12:30 PM   #2
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nabor4life HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveCountry View Post
I had a nervous break down last night, so I think. I dont even know anymore, what is depression, and what a nervous break down is.

All I know is, I totally felt out of control, I felt like I had no idea what I was going to do, what my purpose was, why I was here/there, and where I could go. I was crying hysterically, I even hyperventilated.

I am having 2 chronic issues right now, that cause me what I call crippling pain. I'm not wheelchair bound, or anything like that, but - it truly effects my day to day life. One is not as big of a deal, but at this point will require surgery - I just found out yesterday - and I'm not looking forward to that, and it's not like I can just say nevermind. I need it fixed - or else I'll continue the pain for the rest of my life. I was so mad when I heard the "surgery" news - I forgot to ask how the recovery was, and what the success rate was. So, who knows - maybe that is not even worth it!

Then, the other - supposedly there is no cure for that. I've gone through so much treatment for it, and it's STILL not helping. I think I am being referred to a Pain management doctor, next.


Then of course, you've got my Anxiety. Which never lets up. EVER. I ran out of Lexapro yesterday, so b/c of my mood last night - I did not have it refilled, and probably won't. And, I know that you're not just supposed to abruptly stop taking these kinds of medicine - but, I can't afford it anymore. I just can't.

I am married - but, now my husband is giving me grief - and lots of it, for the problems I am having. We got another bill in the mail last night, and he opened it, it was for $180.00 and he threw it at me and said not so nice words, and then hasnt talked to me since. Yes, we have Insurance. But what good are they. They suck!!!

My husband even makes good money. We live in a nice house, we have nice things. But, things like this - medical bills, my husband has ABSOLUTE FITS over.

So, I told him last night - I will not go get my medicine refilled (Lexapro), and I won't have any more treatments to resolve my other issues. And, he said "Good".

So, that is when I had my nervous breakdown.

I almost called the ambulance to come get me, and take me to the hospital and load me up on something to take away the pain (mental and physical).

But, I'm too embarassed to call them for that. And, there is no way my husband would take me. He would just tell me how much that would cost, and complain and whine and give me a hard time.

I am soooo confused. What do I do? Thanks for listening.



actually... what you say about your husbad does not sound as if he was tooo caring. do you know why he is like this?

are you okay now?

 
Old 08-18-2007, 12:43 PM   #3
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LoveCountry HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by smeagollives View Post
actually... what you say about your husbad does not sound as if he was tooo caring. do you know why he is like this?

are you okay now?

I dont know what is wrong with him. But last night when he saw the bill (I had to go to a outpatient center to get Xrays and Insurance didnt cover ALL of the Xrays) and I even called him and asked if it was OK to get the Xrays, and he said Yes. Do what you have to do. So I did, and then he see's the bill and throw's a fit.

I tried ignoring him all night - but there at the end, I couldnt take it anymore, the ignore treatment, and had my breakdown. He told me to grow up and get away from him.

Finally fell asleep, left at 7:00am this morning to go out and get away before he woke up. Got ahome around 11:30-Noon, and tried to apologize to him for throwing my fit last night, but he wont talk to me. He wont even look at me.

I sat on the couch with him for about 10 minutes, trying to explain myself. But, like I said - wouldnt budge, talk, look or anything. So I left the room, and feel like I am having to keep my distance as not to bug him. Whenever I walk in the room - he grunts and rolls his eyes like he wished I werent there.

What do you do about that? I guarantee when he NEEDS me - he'll change his mind. It's a marriage of convience, obviously. I've inconvienced him for the time being.

Problem is, I cant stand being ignored and I'm afraid if he keeps it up, I'm going to start crying and having a breakdown again.

 
Old 08-18-2007, 12:48 PM   #4
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LoveCountry HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

The thing is - here I am the one that is told, I might need surgery for one problem, and the other one - really there isnt much to do, except recieve steroid type injections in your SPINE. (I have a herniated disk) to relieve the pain. The pain level is a 9-10 most days (10 being the highest).... and I have to tip toe and apologize for being in pain and needing doctors care.

WHYYY!!!!!!!!! What on earth do you do about that. I am losing it again.

I need to step away for awhile, I'll be back. Thanks for listening.....

 
Old 08-18-2007, 12:51 PM   #5
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nabor4life HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

hey, i am sorry to hear. i do not know how to help you. but i am sure somebody else will come up with an idea.
has it always been like that between you and your husband?

Last edited by nabor4life; 08-18-2007 at 12:52 PM.

 
Old 08-18-2007, 04:51 PM   #6
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Roche87 HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

Your husband sounds like a real ***,...Im sorry, don't know you but that is what it sounds like.

He said it was okay and then throws a fit when he sees the bill???

Just doesn't seem right to me.

 
Old 08-19-2007, 02:09 AM   #7
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positivity17 HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

Can you ask your dr. to give you samples? If not, maybe you can let him know about your current situation, see if he can contact the reps to attain samples for you.

I can't really address the marital situation, however, I am sorry that you're going thru such a rough time. Hang in there.

Last edited by positivity17; 08-19-2007 at 02:11 AM.

 
Old 08-19-2007, 11:01 AM   #8
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LoveCountry HB User
Re: Nervous Break Down - Giving Up. Need Help.

Hi Everyone,
I want to Thank you for taking the time to reply. I didnt come back last night because, I started having panic attacks - which I knew were bound to happen. So, I took a Klonopin, and went to bed, and slept most the night through. I guess I needed it.

I feel a little better today, I got up, took a shower, got ready for the day, like I had things to do, and now I'm just see'ing things a little better.

Husband is still being quiet, however he's attempted talking to me a few times, and I'm just answering his questions and moving on. He sounds sorry, but I'm not jumping in yet - if I do, he'll feel he won. Childish? Maybe. But, he hurt me, I'm not just going to dive back in and say "It's ok". Not now, I tried yesterday to resolve it, and apologize, he chose not to accept it. Not my fault. Right?

He's NOT always like this, it is unusual. Which is why I was so taken back by it. We don't have the perfect A-list marriage, but he's never been like THAT. It scares me though, that he's going in that direction and will act this way again.

I tried asking my doctor about giving me some samples of Lexapro, and he just sort of "blah blah blah" about it, and then never gave me any. Never gave me a real answer about it. I like him A LOT too - I hate to leave, but he's going to have to find a way to help me. For whatever reason, Lexapro doesn't have a "generic" yet, so it costs me a lot to get it. Celexa is similar, but not completely - and it didnt help me as much - go figure.

Thanks for listening.

 
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