hey, i hope that i am not talking too much. do you sometimes feel like a hooray henry (or hooray henriette)?
one time in class my professor asked "who of you guys is working his way through college?"... everybodys hand was up, just mine was down. nevertheless i accomplish far less then my peers.
i feel sort of worthless and a failure because i am neverb good enough. i tried working in two jobs, lost both, i am living of my aunt and uncles money and i am not doing well in college.
i knwo that a lot of people think that i am an hooray henry, an ineffectual, spoiled, irrelevant, faltering half-assed wussy. unapt for every serious job, do not want to work on anything.
people at my college do not know i suffer from depression and i can act quite lively and cheerful even if i do not feel like this.
once we did a johari-window. know what that is orb should i explain? my peers thought my most prominent chracter trait was "cheerfulness". i am anything but cheerful.
sometimes i think may be i do not even suffer from depression, but i am just spoiled. i have a low self esteem, do not know how to change it.
feel like a disgrace to my family, because in college i do not keep up with my peers. two of my cousins went to the same college, studied the same subject and both were excellent students.
baaad english. sorry. english is not my native language.
Last edited by nabor4life; 08-21-2007 at 11:37 AM.
Smeag, have you always had low self-esteem? If so, where do you think that it came from?
i used to have low self esteem back in school. i just to be shy and bookish and way fat. in school they called my things like "wee little fattyfat, you are ugly" (something like this i tried to translate it).
i have lost much waight and now i am not fat anymore. and i am not bookish anymore. if i was i would do better in college . i am still shy, but by now i have learned how to hide it.
when i was younger i sticked to the wrong crowed and i was acting out and taking drugs
i am feeling so guilty and often think: may be it is just normal for me to have no self-esteem, because i am not worth anything.
Smeag, I don't think that it is normal to have low self-esteem. You were treated poorly so you think that you are less worthy (because if you were worthy you would have been treated better.) Actually, people who want to tease others just try to find a victim. They were not thinking about you at all or your worth. You are worthy.
You were with the wrong crowd because you felt that you didn't deserve better. I actually did this same thing.
Smeag, I don't think that it is normal to have low self-esteem. You were treated poorly so you think that you are less worthy (because if you were worthy you would have been treated better.) Actually, people who want to tease others just try to find a victim. They were not thinking about you at all or your worth. You are worthy.
You were with the wrong crowd because you felt that you didn't deserve better. I actually did this same thing.
yeah. back then i was just worth as much as anybody else.
but by now i may be just ineffectual and a disgrace.
i wonder how one finds out if one is really depressive or just a no-good bum.
Last edited by nabor4life; 08-21-2007 at 12:59 PM.
You do have low thoughts of yourself. I am trying to understand how you got here.
but i told you why: because i suck in college, i was doing drugs, i lost two jobs. that is why. wqantb to know how to find out if it is depression or plain fecklessness. sometimes i fear i may suffer from antisocial personality disorder.
is there someone out there feeling like this?
Last edited by nabor4life; 08-21-2007 at 01:09 PM.
Smeag, knowing the answers to these questions is the road to understanding yourself and then from this you can learn how to have better control over your life. Your original question was are you depressed. IMO it doesn't matter. What matters is that you have issues that are interfering with your life and that when you can solve these you will be on your way.
For the longest time I felt really bad about myself, like the biggest loser, always comparing myself to my successful college educated sisters, wondering what was wrong with me. I have always had depression which was not treated, in the last year this has changed and as a result so has the low opinion of myself. Going to therapy, reading up on depression, and taking medication has helped to make me feel much better about myself. I have much more hope, although at times it does disappear.
I think what Sannah is trying to point out to you is that the way you feel about yourself is related to how you were raised from childhood since behavior is learned.
. i am still shy, but by now i have learned how to hide it.
