Originally Posted by Mucho_Ocho
I suffer with depression and low self-esteem. I see a therapist who's helped me a lot. Unfortunately he’s mentioned his girlfriend during our last several sessions. Recently he told me they just got engaged. He seemed very happy and excited. Later I became very depressed and remained in that state for a week. Not because I’m in love with him, but because I depend on him. I’ve trusted him with deep secrets and talked about things nobody else could understand. He’s helped when I was hysterical, and probably saved my life more than once. Often it seems like no one else cares. He knows I have no support outside his office, and that I depend on him, but maybe not to what degree.
When my next session rolled around I almost canceled because I was still hurting and depressed. I felt abandoned and betrayed. I fear he daydreams about his fiancé during my sessions. I imagine her as beautiful and perfect (unlike me). I compare myself to this image, and lose in every way. This has expanded and I now come up short against every woman I see. If not prettier, they are happier than me. I’m afraid his fiancé will take him away and I won’t have his support, understanding and care.
I planned to discuss this at our last session, but I couldn’t speak without choking up. Needless to say, it never came out. Today I sent him a note explaining how I feel and why. I put the blame on myself and my insecurities. I’ll be horribly embarrassed next session. Did I do the right thing?
Hi there! You sound as if you're very confused and hurt right now and rightfully so. If you are truly worried that your therapist isn't helping you anymore or is thinking those thoughts during the sessions, then you have to do what's best for you
I can see why it's so hard to leave someone your trust so much. Remember, depression changes the way we think and we're more sensitive to certain things. So although he may be very happy he's going to be married, I'm sure that he still supports you in any way he can when you see him for therapy. I know it's hard right now not to, but try not to compare yourself with other people. I've done it before and still do sometimes when my depression hits an all low, but I know from experience that it hurts a lot. I would try and talk to him in person before you do anything at all, and try to tell him how you truly feel. I'm sure that he will be understanding and will care about what you have to say just as he did before. If you need to talk, I'll be here to listen and try to support you the best I can!