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Old 08-25-2007, 06:22 PM   #1
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suz79 HB User
Long time sufferer

Well im not quite sure what i've got don't think any1 knows right now i've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety got diagnosed with post natal depression in 99 after the birth of my 1st child then it's been simple depression bi polar then manic depression which i think is the same thing anyway. I have a history of depression in my family my Mum has it my grandma has it my brother had it and im sure my sister does she'll just never admit it. Anyways im not 100% sure how much is depression and how much is because of my health issues. Im currently on Zoloft have been on a lot and none actually fix me but Zoloft is the only one that stops me from bein in tears all the time but i still have to push myself to get anything done a simple thing like takin a shower is a struggle i just can't be bothered i eventually convince myself 2 and once im in there it's like i don't wanna get out. I have to force myself to wash dishes and sometimes i ind up doin a lot more than dishes other times that's as far as i get. Anyways there has been times that i loved to clean and cook but right now i can't be bothered cookin anythin it's a chore for me. I have had a lot of health issues lately was diagnosed with a heart condition in 99 and it is now severe heart failure i also had to have surgery in 2004 for a pre cancerous growth which was supposed to be 96% effective but found out earlier this year that i have it again and have to go into surgery again on the 3rd of Sept oh i know i have anxiety cause i've had a few panic attacks and can't be in a crowd of people. Im also always comparin myself to others thinkin am i as pretty or skinny as her i hate my body and will not let any1 see it i also don't like sex that much but that's caue i was raped. I went thru a stage where all i wanted was sex and booze but now i don't want it at all and i don't drink cause im a binge drinker and that is not good for my heart. Anyhow i've been ramblin for ages i guess i just wanna know how others cope with stress cause i've been told to not stress or i'll end up in hospital with a heart attack but with the depression how can i not stress?????

 
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Old 08-26-2007, 06:38 PM   #2
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Re: Long time sufferer

Hi:

I normally do not reply to this type of post as it is difficult for me to relate too. That being said I think the best thing for you is to get some sort of counseling if possible. I would imagine what a therapist will tell you is to simplify your life as much as possible right now you have way to much on your plate. There are a lot of things in life that we do not control but there is a lot we do. Right off the bat I would say look at the relationship with your boyfriend and chances are it is doing more harm then good. Your children need to be in therapy for the abuse that they suffered and the sooner the better. Like I said earlier I am not good at this type of post but I do believe therapy would be benificial for you

take care
trg247
__________________
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Current Meds
Pristiq
Cymbalta
Seroquel
Temazapam

 
Old 08-26-2007, 10:46 PM   #3
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suz79 HB User
Re: Long time sufferer

My eldest has already had counselling and the other one will be startin soon as for me seein a counsellor i went and got an assesment and they said im managing fine and don't need any1. Yeah have broke up with the bf a few times but he always makes promises that i fall for and he does change for about a week but then back to normal. I felt sorry for him last time caue he had nowhere to stay and he always says we are soul mate's. I really can't deal with that situation yet anyways cause i have to get this surgery done first and find out if it's cancerous before i do anything one thing at a time ya know

 
Old 08-27-2007, 07:28 AM   #4
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: Long time sufferer

Suz, I agree wholeheartedly with Trg. If you want to get your life in order you have to make a decision about the company that you keep. Your choices in men do not seem good and you can understand why you do this. Good luck with your surgeries. Keep posting....

 
Old 08-27-2007, 03:12 PM   #5
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suz79 HB User
Re: Long time sufferer

yeah i do have bad taste in men my doc once told me that it was because i was raped as a child so i pick mummy's boys and one's that abuse me but this one has got good points he did come to the big city with me and sat in the hospital for 4 days while i had test done and my kids do love him but he does stress me out a lot he reckons he doesn't mean 2 but he does! I'm not sure i should make any major decisions while my brain is like this all i can think is what if it's cancer i basically just sit around all day doin nothin atm but i don't think it's 2 much to worry bout cause i think it will improve once i get the results

 
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