It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Depression Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-25-2007, 07:52 PM   #1
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northen California
Posts: 9
DAME_SF HB User
Question a group therapy?

hi everybody,
so what's it called? a group therapy? a group consulting? I don't even know the name. you know, a small group of people w/ depression (or other issue) gather together and talk about how they do, etc. is there anything like that in San Francisco? I'm sure there is. but I don't know how to find. what words should I type on search engines? can someone help me out, please?

Last edited by DAME_SF; 08-25-2007 at 07:53 PM.

 
Old 08-25-2007, 09:39 PM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: usa
Posts: 378
Mokie HB User
Re: a group therapy?

I was looking for the same thing in arizona. i just typed in "depression support groups in ........ " and got alot of sites.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-26-2007, 12:16 AM   #3
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northen California
Posts: 9
DAME_SF HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mokie View Post
I was looking for the same thing in arizona. i just typed in "depression support groups in ........ " and got alot of sites.
hmm I just typed exactly what you said above for SF but found only one. this can't be it. anyway thanks.

so Mokie, have you attended to any of those meetings?

 
Old 08-26-2007, 06:41 AM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: usa
Posts: 378
Mokie HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Well, sorry you haven't found anything. keep looking. i looked and looked. No I haven't attended any support groups for people with depression. the only support group i went to once was a grief loss group. it was great. i felt very safe there.
i found a couple depression groups around here. asked my counselor about them. she says to just try it and see how i like it. but i havent' tried it yet.

 
Old 02-06-2010, 09:29 PM   #5
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9
KYtired6473 HB User
Exclamation Re: a group therapy?

If anyone here has participated in this, I'd very much appreciate you sharing your story.

I'm social phobic and depressed. In fact, one of the main reasons I'm depressed is because social phobia has ruined my life. So, I know it seems ironic that I'm interested in trying a support group, but I am. The reason I don't talk to people I don't know and am not comfortable with is because I simply cannot identify with normal people and I've been mistreated by others in the past, so I'm not a very trusting person. I haven't had normal life experiences, so I don't know what the hell to say. I don't have stories of hanging with friends, traveling, having a significant other, having kids, having a career, etc. I'm just this horribly blank page. Social phobia, depression and other health issues stole any chance at living--as opposed to simply existing--that I could've had. So, naturally, I'm shy around normal people. But I'm thinking maybe I'd have an easier time speaking with/to people who are going through what I am; at least to a decent degree. People who understand. I am SO alone. I am a hermit, really. For most intents and purposes, I'm just a "shut-in." I go out to get groceries about once a week, visit my mom about once a week, go to family holiday gatherings (which, really, I mostly hate. I so don't fit in and I feel so lonely & like such a loser), see an occasional movie/eat-out, that's about it. Besides my mom, I don't have a single friend. The closest I have to a friend are 'net friends. I need to socialize so badly and I need to talk with others who understand so badly.

So, please, I need to read your stories. Also, if anyone knows if any of these groups are free, please tell me. I'm broke. It's a huge thing for me to even get up the nerve to pick up the phone and make a call to a stranger so I can see about joining one of these things! I don't want to bother if I don't feel it could even be helpful.

 
Old 02-07-2010, 03:40 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: South Asia
Posts: 604
keenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KYtired6473 View Post
If anyone here has participated in this, I'd very much appreciate you sharing your story.

I'm social phobic and depressed. In fact, one of the main reasons I'm depressed is because social phobia has ruined my life. So, I know it seems ironic that I'm interested in trying a support group, but I am. The reason I don't talk to people I don't know and am not comfortable with is because I simply cannot identify with normal people and I've been mistreated by others in the past, so I'm not a very trusting person. I haven't had normal life experiences, so I don't know what the hell to say. I don't have stories of hanging with friends, traveling, having a significant other, having kids, having a career, etc. I'm just this horribly blank page. Social phobia, depression and other health issues stole any chance at living--as opposed to simply existing--that I could've had. So, naturally, I'm shy around normal people. But I'm thinking maybe I'd have an easier time speaking with/to people who are going through what I am; at least to a decent degree. People who understand. I am SO alone. I am a hermit, really. For most intents and purposes, I'm just a "shut-in." I go out to get groceries about once a week, visit my mom about once a week, go to family holiday gatherings (which, really, I mostly hate. I so don't fit in and I feel so lonely & like such a loser), see an occasional movie/eat-out, that's about it. Besides my mom, I don't have a single friend. The closest I have to a friend are 'net friends. I need to socialize so badly and I need to talk with others who understand so badly.

So, please, I need to read your stories. Also, if anyone knows if any of these groups are free, please tell me. I'm broke. It's a huge thing for me to even get up the nerve to pick up the phone and make a call to a stranger so I can see about joining one of these things! I don't want to bother if I don't feel it could even be helpful.
Hi
In my opinion, it would be best for you to start somewhere as a hobby or a job/study where you will have to interact with others. In this way you will slowly get involved with other people, be busy by yourself and most importantly your mind will be off the depression for a while at least. Then you might even find something there like a group that helps with phobias/depression. Hope this helps, thanks.

 
Old 02-07-2010, 02:42 PM   #7
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9
KYtired6473 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Thanks, keen.

A lot of people think that's the answer; I've heard it over and over. I suppose it's because, for a normal person who's just shy, it is. But I'm far from normal & I'm not shy, I'm phobic & practically socially retarded. I've worked all my life until going on 4 years ago, so I always had coworkers and the public to deal with, and it never helped. In fact, it had the opposite effect. Having to go in to work every day and be forced to interact with my coworkers and customers was nerve-wracking. It just rubbed it in more to me all the time how strange I am. I became more miserable as time went by. Again, I have no way to relate to people. If I did, I wouldn't be social phobic in the first place. I have nothing to talk about, nothing in common with normal people. Unless everyone will just talk about things like movies, music, TV shows, the internet, religion, human nature, animals, etc. I've got nothin', and most people don't talk about that stuff much. People talk about their experiences, what their kid did last night, the vacation they and their significant other went on, etc. Having to interact with people just makes me a nervous wreck; the more I do it, the more nervous & miserable I get. I just feel like a space alien, always on the outside looking in. I'm simply not a part of normal, regular humanity.

So I very much hope a support group could be helpful and that there is a local one I can go to. It would mean a LOT to read others' stories.

P.S. Just in case anyone may be curious, school bullying made me what I am. I don't know how it's handled these days, but in the 80s/early 90s, when I was in school, basically, no one did a damned thing about it. School staff turned a blind eye. If you're a parent, please do your child & the rest of the world a favor and teach them how to be kind, understanding, compassionate and friendly. Bullying is NOT just some harmless little phase. It is regular doses of torture that can literally ruin a person's life.

Last edited by KYtired6473; 02-07-2010 at 02:43 PM.

 
Old 02-08-2010, 10:49 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: South Asia
Posts: 604
keenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Hi
I think you were pushed to an extreme where you were made to overcome your fears, like throwing an aracnophobic into a field of dangerous spiders. So by being with people, I mean where interaction is more out of help rather than a core requirement, for example during my study days at first I was alone, then made friends and now Im alone again because I dont see them anymore. So lets say you are at your school/uni, you and your classmates are working on individual assignments and your work is very good. Some people will go to you for help which would be a nice feeling.

Well I feel in a way Im similar in terms of being with people. I tend to find myself in situations where people are talking about things that I have no interest in what they are talking about and then eventually I dont meet them anymore. I think people wont mind you listening to them. Also, after a while of knowing someone, I find myself not having much to talk about and end up almost not talking to them. At times this makes me realise that my life is very boring and empty to an extent but at other times Im ok.
Just wondering though on a slightly related topic, do you have any care and consideration for any other individual? I think that this may make things even worse for you simply because you need to look for them even though you feel that they wont look for you.
Let me know what you think. To be honest, Im interested in knowing what makes you feel good/awful most of the time. So let me know all. Thanks

 
Old 02-10-2010, 08:51 PM   #9
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9
KYtired6473 HB User
Smile Re: a group therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keenobserver View Post
Hi
I think you were pushed to an extreme where you were made to overcome your fears, like throwing an aracnophobic into a field of dangerous spiders. So by being with people, I mean where interaction is more out of help rather than a core requirement, for example during my study days at first I was alone, then made friends and now Im alone again because I dont see them anymore. So lets say you are at your school/uni, you and your classmates are working on individual assignments and your work is very good. Some people will go to you for help which would be a nice feeling.

Well I feel in a way Im similar in terms of being with people. I tend to find myself in situations where people are talking about things that I have no interest in what they are talking about and then eventually I dont meet them anymore. I think people wont mind you listening to them. Also, after a while of knowing someone, I find myself not having much to talk about and end up almost not talking to them. At times this makes me realise that my life is very boring and empty to an extent but at other times Im ok.
Just wondering though on a slightly related topic, do you have any care and consideration for any other individual? I think that this may make things even worse for you simply because you need to look for them even though you feel that they wont look for you.
Let me know what you think. To be honest, Im interested in knowing what makes you feel good/awful most of the time. So let me know all. Thanks
Thank you for talking to me; I really appreciate it! I notice people tend to just get swallowed up on depression boards. We're all hurting and all need to be heard and there's just, sadly, SO many of us. I'll try to answer this properly. Yes, being forced into socialization was never the answer. The thing is, when I know someone well enough and am comfortable around them, I'm a different person. I started out in life the opposite of social phobic. Until I was about 3, my parents said I never knew a stranger. Mom actually used to fear I'd be kidnapped because I'd walk right up to anyone and start talking to them. So, inside of me somewhere, that's who I really am. If I am comfy around you, I can talk you to death! But it takes a long time for that comfort to occur. Generally, I'm great around kind, outgoing people who approach ME and initialize a conversation and carry it well. If someone is being friendly to me and persistently talking to me, I eventually get the idea that I'm no bother & they truly DO want me to talk to them, so I do so and, the more they talk to me, the more warmed up and talkative I get. Also exacerbating the situation is the fact that I live in a small-town in a rural area in the Bible Belt. I'm an open-minded atheist. (Don't run away screaming! We're not such a bad lot, I promise!) Even if I were outgoing, I don't fit in around here.

I'm interested in what others talk about; or, at least, I want to be. It's simply that I haven't had any similar experiences, so I can't relate and, therefore, can't converse with them.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "care and consideration for any other individual." I care about living beings in general, both human and animal. And specifically, I care and am concerned about the few people (and animals) I have in my life, yes.

 
Old 02-11-2010, 02:24 PM   #10
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: South Asia
Posts: 604
keenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB Userkeenobserver HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Hi,
I see that your behaviour is quite similar to mine. So I think for you, working in a as mentioned before will make you confident in interacting with other people. I sometimes find it constantly hard to share my own experiences in great detail and so I end up being silent even though the individuals talk to me. One reason why Im like this is that I know how people will respond and thats something that doesnt excite me.

So theres quite a few interesting things I wouldnt mind asking but isnt quite related to this thread but I wouldnt mind private messaging you. But as I mentioned before, when you are away from people you like or get along with, do you think about their lives, dedicate your personal time to them ie do you consider treating them as well as you would treat yourself? If you do I would say that there is a bright light for you in life.
Looking forward to hearing from you next.

 
Old 02-13-2010, 10:20 PM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northern Calif
Posts: 36
sha2020 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

I agree with Keenobserver - a person needs to care for, believe in, want to help another, not just in spirit or good intentions, but by actually doing something nice, helpful for another person. Even volunteering with a animals or going to visit shut in elderly people who would love to have someone listen to their stories. You could use your listening skills & pick up some wisdom as well. For me, it is essential to have faith in something greater, because life can be difficult with no perfect answers. So, I also pray/meditate. If you begin any activity like helping animals you will have an automatic subject to speak about.

Last edited by sha2020; 02-13-2010 at 10:20 PM.

 
Old 02-15-2010, 08:54 AM   #12
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 228
Mira11 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

KYtired - I think a support group for depression and social anxiety would be great for you. It could be your first step to helping yourself to feel better and from there you could look into personal interest courses in your area that you could focus some energy and be enthusiastic about.

I was wondering, tho, if you've ever talked to a dr. about trying medication for social anxiety. This might be a very helpful step for you. I hope you find the answers you're seeing and that the depression can lift for you little by little until you wake up one morning and feel like a more optimistic person with the little joys and things to look forward to!

 
Old 02-17-2010, 11:30 PM   #13
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9
KYtired6473 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

I'd love to volunteer or something, but I live in a small rural community surrounded by people who are very different than me and there aren't many such opportunities. I don't think y'all understand how very severe the social phobia is, anyway. Even having to interact with the clerk to pay for my groceries is a nerve-wracking experience. Besides, even if I find people who I have this one thing in common with (animals or whatever), you can only talk about one subject for so long and it doesn't change the fact that I can't identify with them.

Also, I have other health issues that keep me sick all the time. I don't feel like getting out. If I did, I'd visit my family more often. It's usually all I can do to drag myself to the grocery store. I feel like I'm 76 instead of 36. I also am completely broke. I haven't been able to work for nearly 4 years now, I have no income. I depend upon my family, who is poor. I am unable to even acquire all my necessities, let alone have money for gas to drive around to places I don't absolutely need to. I only buy a quarter to a 1/2 tank of gas at a time for my '96 model car (which will almost definitely be the last one I ever have), and can't really even afford that.

I'm really shocked that, apparently, no one visiting this board has tried group therapy! I thought it was a popular thing.

I don't know. I think I don't give a damn anymore. I think I'm just done. Why bother? I'm nearly 37 and I have nothing and I am nothing. I've been depressed since I was a kid. I've hung in there & fought a looong time and I'm very proud of that, but, damn, enough! I'm only "alive" because it would break Mom's heart for me to die (never mind I'm suffering more from existing than she would from me dying. But, whatever) and I'm just too scared of dying. Not death, but dying. I can't freakin' believe how difficult it is to get basic info on healthcare. I also can't believe that there are loads of people who donate money to animals and community causes, funding school band trips, etc., but no one donates money for poor people who can't afford health care. (Free clinics can only do so much.) Is it just me or is that messed up? If I were rich, I'd definitely start some sort of fund for people in my shoes. If I lived in Canada or England, I'd have probably been diagnosed & cured/treated years ago; they take care of their poor sick people.

I just thought it may help at least a bit to talk face to face with others who are in my shoes or close enough to that. I don't know. It's all too tough and I'm too exhausted. The truth is I don't want to be here. Even if I physically felt like fighting, I don't mentally feel like it because, in my opinion, there's nothing worth fighting for. Being alone & poor isn't living, it's hell. There's nothing for me, I'm truly a burden. No one really NEEDS me, and we all need to be needed. I've never been someone's everything, I've never been worthwhile. Always wanted to be and strived to be, but the mountains in my way stopped me. I don't even feel like a person, I feel like a thing. An alien. I don't know.

To the ones who responded to my posts, thanks.

 
Old 02-17-2010, 11:46 PM   #14
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 9
KYtired6473 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mira11 View Post
KYtired - I think a support group for depression and social anxiety would be great for you. It could be your first step to helping yourself to feel better and from there you could look into personal interest courses in your area that you could focus some energy and be enthusiastic about.

I was wondering, tho, if you've ever talked to a dr. about trying medication for social anxiety. This might be a very helpful step for you. I hope you find the answers you're seeing and that the depression can lift for you little by little until you wake up one morning and feel like a more optimistic person with the little joys and things to look forward to!
Somehow, I overlooked this post, Mira. Sorry.

Thanks. Maybe a s.g. would be good. Sure would like to hear from someone who's tried it!

My social problems aren't just chemical situations in my brain, so I doubt a medication could help. My social phobia and resulting depression are the result of actual life problems. I have tried several antidepressants and they all made me sicker, except for two, which did nothing. These meds may be the thing for people who have nice/normal lives but suddenly get depressed for no reason. But when you're depressed because you have a miserable existence, a pill can't fix it. Besides, I haven't read a SINGLE account of drugs being an overall, final, right answer for depression. The best I've seen is that they MAY work for SOME people but, even then, a tolerance eventually develops, dosages increase, then they have to switch to a new one and endure the weaning process from the old and, meanwhile, there are "fun" side effects to deal with the whole way. Studies have proven that they rarely actually work. I'm pretty dead-set against ever touching them again, since my own experiences were so awful.

What I need is a miracle, and there's no such thing.

I very much appreciate your kind words and wishes, though. THAT cheered me up a bit!

I have a sneaking suspicion that the root of most depression is simply a lack of healthy human interaction. Underneath it all, most of us depressed people are lonely or don't have anyone in our lives giving us enough encouragement, support, affection, etc.

 
Old 02-18-2010, 09:14 AM   #15
Newbie
(male)
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 8
Tinman73 HB User
Re: a group therapy?

Hi KYtired6473,

Reading your last post I can't help but realize that most of us, when we are in search of an answer we become so blind that if it was sitting in front of us, we would still miss it.

You mentioned "I have a sneaking suspicion that the root of most depression is simply a lack of healthy human interaction. Underneath it all, most of us depressed people are lonely or don't have anyone in our lives giving us enough encouragement, support, affection, etc." I assume you are talking about yourself. To me depressed people are self centered in the extreme and always forgetting about others. Self pity, laziness and resentments are truly a depressed persons demise.

I have tried group therapies but what good would it do you since the first thing you would need to do is actually attend one. Which means getting out of your house and interacting with people. If you are truly serious about group therapy then speak to your doctor or Physiologist. To me this message board is therapy and itís free. If you look hard enough you will find the answers and most importantly you have to listen not only to others but to your self whether in person or on in a chat room.

I write a lot and I ask myself questions. Questions pertaining to why I feel the way I feel. And I am truly amazed at the answers I get.

Second, you mention that you are poor but have you actually thought to yourself what poor actually means. I can tell you stories about people who have nothing and live in card board boxes, but what does that truly mean. They still get up and find the energy to go pan handling on the streets to get money to buy the bare necessities to survive and then eventually make there way to a soup kitchen to eat. One thing our society forgets is that we are so dam ungrateful for what we have that we forget that most of the times compared to others it is a heck of a lot such as having family and a roof under your head.

Why is it that the only solution I read about in most of posts is all about "How much Medication should I be taking and what Kind to take or you should ask your doctor about medication". Medication is not the answer. Medication is an easy way to mask the underlining feelings that cause you to be depressed. That is why when most of us come off them we find it so difficult, because we havenít done anything to solve the problem. Everyone wants the quick fix with out having to work at it.

Depression is a choice. Sitting at home watching TV all day is a choice! Complaining is a choice! Not eating right is a choice! Not sleeping is a choice! Feeling sorry for yourself is a choice! Getting better is a choice! Everything we do in life is a choice.

The most important thing is to never ever give up especially on your self. If itís hard to believe in something on a spiritual level then try believing in your self first, if you can do that one day at a time then everything else will follow. But it takes time and a lot of work.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Support group for wives / suggestions arizonafriend Cancer: Prostate 2 02-05-2009 03:02 PM
Group Therapy - making things worse!!??!! sharebear0208 Eating Disorder Recovery 11 12-05-2007 09:21 PM
Group therapy UK Very Green Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 5 07-03-2006 01:28 AM
group therapy mandabear Eating Disorder Recovery 4 03-06-2006 09:28 AM
Group Therapy Whelmed Depression 7 01-05-2005 10:37 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



flamesabers (78), Phoenix (43), keenobserver (20), katlin09 (13), Diverdan8 (11), WhistleDixie (10), rosequartz (9), blessed824 (9), jennybyc (9), cuddles1 (9)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:03 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!