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Old 08-26-2007, 02:35 PM   #1
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kcooke82 HB User
Thumbs down Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

So here's my story, i've been sitting and reading alot of your posts over the last couple of weeks but not really been posting.. so here i am!

I've been under alot of stress latley, i dont deal with it well. I've always been prone to anxiety / depression my life but its always been fairly tolerable and mild/moderate. But latley, upon graduating college, im finding it extemely difficult to get work, bills are adding up, loans need repaying, and i have no money. this has also taken a huge toll on my social life not being able to party with friends anymore. Also, i love my car and i love driving, and im facing a 1 year driving suspension which has hit me hard. and now my anxiety and depression are worse than ever and im pretty sure its because of all this stress. i feel like im losing myself, i have no energy or drive to do anything, i sit around the house all day watching tv, and this just gets me more depressed. every day i am noticing different symptoms which no one can explain and that i just have to write off to being caused by stress. (dizzy / disorientated, loss of appetite, increased anxiety, heart palpitations, what feels like restless leg syndrome, pressure behind my eyes and in my head, weird sensation of warm water going down my leg once in a while, double vision in my right eye, upset stomach) i just turned 25 and im already a skinny guy (5'11 150lbs) and i've lost like 10 pounds in the past few weeks just cause i barley eat anymore, which is something i used to love. i just dont have any appetite... my depression and anxiety isn't super, but its always there. some days i wake up feeling great, but that feeling is short lived and im soon back in my hole again. i am scared to death of taking strong antidepressant drugs due to side effects which im prone to, and withdrawl if i ever wanna get off it. i've been taking St. Johns Wort for the past couple of weeks, havn't really noticed a huge difference yet but im told it can take 4 - 6 weeks to take effect so im trying to be patient, its my last resort before switching to the heavy stuff which i really dont wanna do... i'd say at this point my anxiety is worse than my depression is, but it kinda goes hand in hand...ive been to the hospital a couple of times in july back when i had my "crash" and i didnt know what was wrong with me, took blood tests urine test thyroid tests heart tracers chest xrays, all came back normal. i'd like an MRI of my brain but thats like a 6 month waiting list, so is the waiting list for the anxiety specialist... so im hoping that maybe once i get a job and start keeping busy again i'll start to feel better.... thanks for listening i just had to vent

 
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:03 AM   #2
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cantell HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

hiya kcooke,
I am a long poster too! LOL and I made it threw yours just fine.
Stress and depression is a hugh yucky! I have been told it go's hand in hand with fibro but, everyone may not have the same symptoms with fibro.

anywho, check out the symptoms of fibro..there is a lot of them. as with test for fibro threre is really not a concrete one and as you may have found out already..most test come back normal..it is very frustrating when you hurt so bad and the doc's cant find anything..which leads to more stress and depression over time.

I have had it for years but didnt know what it was..so I ignored it and continued to carry on with as much of my life as I could..(I was young and hard headed plus I didnt have time to be sick) yes I missed out on alot of fun with family and friends but I used my children, Xhusband, family dog, housework ect...as excuses as to why I couldnt go.. and hid it from them all as best I could.

now years later.....I have the stress out the wazoooo, depression of the darkest kind will stright me with no warning..and if I ignore it...bam! panic attacks start hitting me!

I would sugest you go to the stress and depression board also and read up.
when you go to the doc next time you will have more insight on what is going on with your body and be able to list your strange symptoms..take this list with you to your doctor..just hand it to him dont read it to him..it can get longgggg..gl

 
Old 08-27-2007, 08:23 AM   #3
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Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

Hi Cooke, have you ever dealt with your anxiety before (therapy, tried to understand why you are anxious?). I think that you are correct. When you have anxiety/depression and then you are under more stress it makes it much more difficult. I guess you are still looking for a job? Keep posting....

 
Old 08-27-2007, 10:19 AM   #4
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thaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB Userthaliak HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

Hello KCooke,
I understand your fear of medication, I have it too. The other day I had a proper panic attack at night because I was told I have to take 10mg of statines for my high cholesterol!!
Anyway, I am saying that despite this fear, medication does help in keeping the symptoms from worsening and actually help you deal with them and learn to control them.
I have also found that exercise helps me a lot with anxiety, as do walks in the parks and woods. My dog also takes my mind away from anxious and depressive thoughts and painting has given me lots and lots of log hours of pleasure!!! And I have found all these pleasurable interests after suffering from depression for years!!!
So, I think you should first try to understand where this anxiety came from, perhaps from luck of appreciation, or abuse as a child(??) etc and then try to find new things you haven't tried before, which might interest you. However, rather than stew in my own pain, I am taking anti anxiety drugs to help me soften the situation and deal with things in my own time. And am doing just fine. So it can be done.
Good luck and God bless

 
Old 08-28-2007, 04:22 PM   #5
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kcooke82 HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

thaliak, what kind of medication are you on? did you notice and side effects?

im thinking of trying kava kava, another natural remedy for anxiety...and then keep taking the st. john's wort for the depression, i'm not sure if you can combine both of them at once but i've done some research and i havn't found anything saying not to combine them, although i know st. john's can't be combined with any SSRI's or prescription anti depressants

thanks for your feedback everyone! i actually just got a job today, but... i dont feel any better unfortunatly, i was hoping getting that weight off my shoulders would release me from these feelings but its not that easy... now im stressing about starting a new job and hoping this physical problems don't get in the way and force me to quit or get fired

 
Old 08-29-2007, 04:15 AM   #6
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Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

Hi again Kcooke!
Congratulations on your new job. After the stress of the first day you will settle in just fine.
As for the medicaton I am taking, I used to take 60mg a day of citalopram tablets ( "Seropram"), I am now down to 10mg a day. Plus I have taken 200mg Lamotrigine ( "Lamictal") which is used to stabilize mood ( i stopped that now, after it helped me tremendously). For anxiety I would take Clonazepam (" Rivotril") up to 2 mg a day for about six months.
I am not sure if these meds can be found under the same trade name in the USA but they were given to me by my psychiatrist and have changed my life.

As I said, I am only taking the 10mg of citalopram and very occasionally when I am under added stress, 0.5mg-1mg of clonazepam for a day. And that's it. If I compare to how I was and how I am now, the difference is the same as night to day. So, THERE IS HOPE.

I must say that when I started feeling ill and having panic attacks, I was so sick that I needed relief really fast and couldn't wait for natural remedies to take hold. But I do hope they work for you.
Good luck and tell us how you are getting on..

 
Old 08-29-2007, 04:26 PM   #7
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Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

well so much for the job, it seems impossible for me to take this job due to its location. i have no car and it would be 90 minute commute (skytrain, 2 buses, and 1.4km walking each way) to get to the job site, not to mention im expected to be there at 7am. which means i'd have to wake up at 4:30am every day. i have sleeping problems and this is simply not possible. i had an interview today so hopefully this one goes better

last night however, i slipped into an overwhelming depression, i dont even know about what it just came on out of now where, there worst ive ever had. i was so close to taking myself to the hospital for fear i would kill myself it was so bad, it eventually subsided after about 30 mins of torment followed by an anxiety attack... wow that was rough, i think its time to step up the meds from all natural to effexor or something, clearly this isn't as mild depression as i though... St. Johns Wort just doesn't seem to be doing the trick...

i feel like im losing hope of ever getting myself back, which makes my depression even worse, i think i may have Dysthymia, followed by "double depression" due to life stress... im gonna suggest this to my doctor and see if he agrees.

in the mean time im gonna have my T3 and T4 levels checked, iron and fierritin levels, and adrenalin levels checked just to rule out everything else...wish me luck :\

i haven't eaten in 3 days

Last edited by kcooke82; 08-29-2007 at 04:28 PM.

 
Old 08-30-2007, 05:34 AM   #8
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Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

KCOOKE hi!
I wish you all the luck of the world and may you eventually find a job which will fulfill you and give you confidence.
However, how are going to feel any better if you "haven't eaten in three days"???? What on earth are you doing?!
If I do not eat one day, I feel sick, very low, depressed, moody, angry, dizzy, tired, helpless, you name it. No wonder you are feeling suicidal!
Try to eat a little to keep up your strength. If your sugar levels drop dramatically( which they have done ) you actually feel very ill and very depressed....
Who are YOU punishing by not eating?
Keep posting please!

 
Old 08-30-2007, 06:38 PM   #9
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kcooke82 HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

i dont know, i just dont feel like eating. i have 0 appetite, and when i try and eat i'll just feel sick to my stomach. i actually did get a job yesterday, a great job! one i've always wanted doing graphic design which i went to school for and the pay is great! i was back to myself yesterday and went out with friends, but now im back to depressed again and i dont even know why? i start my new job next week and i should be super happy now but i feel the same? i dont get it...im not stressed about money and work anymore shouldnt i be feeling better now and wanting to eat?

 
Old 08-30-2007, 06:39 PM   #10
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kcooke82 HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

however, i did do a bit of drinking last night to celebrate, could that be the reason im still depressed today for no reason?

 
Old 08-31-2007, 02:15 PM   #11
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SylAlien HB User
Re: Depression / Anxiety sure sucks...

Hey man i don't have much to add except that i can relate to ya alot, im college age 2, and im so *** up.....I lose weight constantly and i EAT ALOT, crappy job, no money, i have a bad self image that doesnt help either...i try to gain weight by eating more and i lose weight, its sickening....I'll have an anxiety attack about it like every 2 weeks. Spent less time going out and more time with myself these days...im scared to go on meds

 
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