Slipping into depression. Need some advice.
I'm not really sure where to turn to at the moment so i thought you guys may be able to give me some support.
I'm going through a real rough patch in my life at the moment. 3 months ago my, now ex, gf of 3 years left me. She went away for 3 weeks to australia then on returning she left me an IM saying she no longer wanted to be together. I didnt beg her back, i gave her room to breath and tried my best not to contact her. I felt quite bad for about 2 weeks then i started feeling better. Slowly i felt better and better and put up a huge wall between my feelings for her. When i thought of her i would just block it out.
However a couple of days ago i woke up and a huge wave of depression hit me. I was alright when i woke up then within 5 minutes i was feeling like a wreck. My head was spinning my stomach was in knots and i just felt terrible. For the past few days all i've thought about is her. What shes doing, how shes feeling. I've being blaming myself for all the silly thing i said to her and how i could of made a difference. All i've wanted to do is curl up and die.
I make myself go to work, im finding it so hard to get up in the morning. All i want to do is hide away under the covers. But i know i cant stop going to work so i soldier on. On the way to work all i can think about is just riding past work and dissapearing.
The whole world seems such a dark place at the moment. I hate myself and have no confidence anymore. All i can think about is being forever single and never meeting anyone again. This is made even worse as i know im useless with women.
If things don't improve soon im going to crash. I can feel it. I feel so sad every second of the day, from waking up to going to sleep.
How do you keep on going? I've tried st Johns wart which has helped a bit but i dont want to go to the docs. I'd rather just soldier on and do my best to live.