Yes, I have tried almost every drug on the market, old and new for depression. They all seemed to have the opposite effect. I am a little afraid of some mood stabilizers, they have some really bad side effects and I was tried on 2 different ones and they were awful!!!
Yes, the negatitivity really gets me. I got very angry last night with my dad, but there is no use in talking to him or anyone else trying. He is never going to change. I can only change and refuse to be around him when he is spewing venom, but they does not keep me from having a lot of anger. He has an anger problem too so he & I equal a very bad combo!!!!
My only hope is to get out of this house, but other than a shelter, I have nowhere to go. My sister does not want me in her house, she and her husband are not even home half the time and it is not like it would be permanent. I am not a foul mouth, drinker, drug user or anything. I even started to church again today. I do not understand why she is so adamant about not letting me be there. I only asked once and she knows how desperately I need to get out of here. I actually almost got into a physical fight with my dad once!!!
Also, unless you want a really bad job or a hospital job, the pickings are not that great in my area. You would think I would not have a problem getting a job, but I have been trying pretty hard now for almost 2 months. The last job I took out of desperation and it was so stressful, (that is how the bad jobs are), I ended up back in the hospital again. So I am trying to choose carefully where I do work or apply. I want to succeed, not end up quitting in a month and taking steps backwards with my mental illness. I also have borderline personality, on the low end, but that is bad enough.
Thanks for thinking of me. Today church really meant something to me and I plan to go join the singles class and get on a prayer list. I need something spiritual in my life. AND a social life. There I might get both!!
Hugs to you...