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Old 09-26-2007, 05:40 PM   #1
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How do I support my bf who suffers from depression?

Hi all,

This is the first time I am posting here and I have been dating a guy for 7 months now (we are both 50 years old), have been married twice before. Well, my BF suffers from depression as well as chronic pain. He is currently taking Effexor and Klonopin for his anxiety but after I read about Effexor and explained the side effects to him, he may no longer want to take this medication.

I would love to learn how to support him when he is feeling down, moody, or whatever. Usually I ask him what is wrong and to talk to me. Or I will just give him hugs and kisses which he responds to.

I realize that depression is a very serious illness and I'm still learning about it. I have no idea if he could be bipolar and even if he was, it wouldn't matter to me because I love him that much.

Any advice about support?
Sunny

 
Old 09-26-2007, 05:59 PM   #2
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Re: How do I support my bf who suffers from depression?

Hi:

Depression effects people in all sorts of manner so it really depends on the individual. When I am at my lowest I want to be left alone but I want to know someone is there for me. Effexor is a very strong antidepressant that is effective for a lot of people, the biggest complaint you will see about it is when the time comes to get off of it. Effexor like some other antidepressants require a tapering program to come off of. If your BF is having no major problems with Effexor then I would not be looking to change it. To be honest I would be more concerned about the Klonapin as that type of med are infamous in the terms of habit forming and the number of people who abuse it.

take care
trg247

 
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Old 09-26-2007, 06:05 PM   #3
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Re: How do I support my bf who suffers from depression?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnyrise View Post
Hi all,

This is the first time I am posting here and I have been dating a guy for 7 months now (we are both 50 years old), have been married twice before. Well, my BF suffers from depression as well as chronic pain. He is currently taking Effexor and Klonopin for his anxiety but after I read about Effexor and explained the side effects to him, he may no longer want to take this medication.

I would love to learn how to support him when he is feeling down, moody, or whatever. Usually I ask him what is wrong and to talk to me. Or I will just give him hugs and kisses which he responds to.

I realize that depression is a very serious illness and I'm still learning about it. I have no idea if he could be bipolar and even if he was, it wouldn't matter to me because I love him that much.

Any advice about support?
Sunny
Hi there sunny,

I suggest that you be there for your friend through it all, see your friend is very depressed and right now that is all that they need is to know that there is someone out there who cares, I will have you know, my online closest friend of many years just told me to take a hike in her last email cause of my depression. It hurts so please please for the sake of your friend stay there by their side, trust me it will help beyond belief!

Take care!

 
Old 09-27-2007, 03:12 PM   #4
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Re: How do I support my bf who suffers from depression?

Hi again,

Trg247, my BF knows I am there for him all the time even when he needs some space. Actually, he is the type of man that doesn't want space or to be left alone. I think he is having some major side effects from the Effexor, he is constantly nauseous, gets some strange nightmares that scare him, and lately his leg is twitching. He rarely takes klonopin, only when he is having severe anxiety.

Problem is when I explained to him about the side effects of Effexor, he tells me to stop researching so much! But I know he will rethink it and talk to his doctor about it.

Hsp1, hello back to you!

Yes, my BF knows I really care about him, hey I love the guy! When we first met I didn't understand at all about depression and I was reacting to him which caused many fights. Presently I am learning about depression so instead of reacting to him, I feel compassion... I just wish I knew more about what is going through his mind and what he is really feeling. Sometimes he really opens up to me and I am thankful for those times.

I am so very sorry about your friend and the lack of understanding and compassion. I can only imagine the hurt you must feel. Years ago my family turned their backs on me for a long time and that really hurt.

Sunny

 
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