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Old 09-29-2007, 06:17 PM   #1
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Exclamation help!!!!!

well once again im faced with a new problem-hard to belive isnt it its highly embarressing!!

sorry if this is gory. for ages ive been battling swinging from constipation and diarehha. i mean almost year. im used to it so i get on with it but im sick and tired of it dictating what i eat. ive put on weight cos i can only eat at night. and through the day i generally have an upset tummy, i get waves of nausea, im exhausted and sleep when im not required to do anything., i feel faint and dizzy at times also. i feel clogged up, im never able to be empty or else when i get nervous it just falls out of me, i get hungry for no reason and my tummy is always making weird noises. it is painful sometimes when i feel it all churning and twisting, or else just sitting in me, i need to pass water a lot more too. the thing thats making me only just consider disclosing this to my doc is that for the past month ive been passing mucous in my stools-not very nice i know. i checked it out and it says its a symptom of IBS-i seem to fit the rest of the equation but cant fix it, no matter what i eat theres some damn reaction to. but weird i can eat at night and its fine

its causing problems at home, im sleeping constantly and im never recharged, my mum gets angry and shouts and says im lazy, but im so low and exhausted on top of i and i feel sore a lot too. i actually just feel i dont have the energy for my hobby anymore-not just lack of motivation.if i go outfor a meal i wnat to go to bed as soon as its over cos im so tired, my tummy only gets more painful as its digestied and just sits in me or i am clogged with diarehha. it gets worse during my period, the cramps are crippling and its diarhea galore! i get sick, almost pass out sometimes and i get so hot, i get extremly drained and barley able to keep moving.

please dont move this post, it is related to depression and the cause. as you might know ive a history of sexual abuse, i dont like people touching me, my doc struggles just to persuade me to show her my self harm. ive seen her for a year and shes only seen it about twice even when i did 2nd degree burns.

anywho, i asked people on another site for abuse survivors, and they told me that theyll want to examine me!!!!-i just want her to give me some herbal stuff and it to go away! at worst theyll want a rectal exam(something that should i be on deaths door i will NOT be doing!!!) or at best i will get away with an abdominal exam. i dont want that either!! what happens, does she need to touch me much, how exposed do i have to be?!!!-can she do it through my clothes?? i cant even lower my jeans to my hips never mind be examined!!! whats she looking for??am i being stupid by not letting her do this?? i see her next week again and im in two minds, i know muscous isnt normal, and given all the other problems it should probably be mentioned-but what if i say it, she wants to perform something horrible on me, i say no and then cant deny it. i hate being difficult with her, and i know she cant force me but it doesnt clear up the problem but i cannot do some things.

what should i do?? can you help me?? is it even worth mentioning-do you think i can make it go away?? whats likely to happen-please help, anywone, i am petrified!!!!

its really dragging me down and i already feel so low

thanks, xx
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Old 09-29-2007, 07:25 PM   #2
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Dearest Kerry!!!
Girl....you have got to get this checked out sweetheart!!!
I know even the thought of this makes you want to run a mile, I know why that is, and I can tell how hard it is for you based on how you describe it.
But Kerry hon...certain things you cant just "wish" away. Surely you have to see that keeping so many things inside and not telling anyone what's going on is doing you no good whatsover. Kerry, I have not suffered the abuse that you have, but I too was a very very private person growing up when it came to doctors. Let me tell you though when I had my son.....so many people told me, "oh once you have a baby, nothing like that will bother you again". I didnt find that to be true. At the time yes, I went through what I had to......and yes, its true that it isnt 100% in the front of your mind, because you're mostly worried about your baby....but afterwards, any visits I've had, I still do not like being tested, etc. One thing you have to know Kerry hon, is that your doctor is NOT anything remotely like anyone who did you harm when you were young. It's completely different Kerry. And you have to know that they examine people as a job, just like how you do yours. It is nothing to them, and they dont think anything. You need to have this looked at, and yes, they will probably want to do some tests, maybe some bloodwork, maybe they will want a sample of your stool, so that's easy to give them.....maybe an ultrasound.
Kerry, do you know hon how many people get so sick from not getting things checked out? Because they're embarrassed....because it makes them uncomfortable. If you're scared, that means, for sure you dont want anything to be wrong with you!!! No matter how much you have going on, you want to be "okay"!!!! So Kerry, you need to make sure you are hon!!!!!
Here's what I do when I have tests to get through.....I think "ahead" of what I will be doing maybe let's say "an hour" after my test......because then it will be "over". Kerry, it wont be as bad as you think. I dont want this to sound harsh Kerry, but you wont talk to your parents about what's going on with you, you wont tell your doctor, so in the end.....YOU are the only person who is taking care of YOU! And YOU are the only one that knows what's going on with you. So you have to look after yourself sweetie, okay? More than likely this is just caused by not looking after yourself, not eating properly, the stress of UNI and all this stuff with your doc......
I'm sure a few short tests will figure it out, and if you can get back on track eating a little healthier, that might help. You can get through this Kerry.....
Listen Kerry, Sannah is going away for a trip for about a month... I think she'll be checking in on Monday.....but I promise I will look out for you okay!!!!
I'll check in to see if you've made an appointment with your doctor.
If you cant tell your regular doctor, would you consider a "clinic". That way, you wouldnt have to see that particular doctor again? You could just get the problem cleared up. Just a thought. Whatever you do, you just should get it checked out. I'm sure you'll be fine, but you need to make sure!!

Let me know what you decide to do hon!!!

Caroline xo

 
Old 09-29-2007, 07:39 PM   #3
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pucca_chick View Post
what should i do?? can you help me?? is it even worth mentioning-do you think i can make it go away?? whats likely to happen-please help, anywone, i am petrified!!!!

its really dragging me down and i already feel so low

thanks, xx
Dear PC,

There are times that we have to do the uncomfortable in order to see results and this is one of those times.

I have had a urine flow exam, an ultrasound, an endoscopy and in the next month, will need a colonoscopy.

I cringed at the fact that tubes and such had to be placed inside places that only urine and waste are supposed to be excreted from.

I even felt uncomfortable afterwards;violated yet I gave permission to have the testing performed(if that makes sense).
----------------------------
You know what?

I would have it all done again(probably will have to anyway) if it was the only way that I can have a complete and accurate assessment of my situation.
----------------------------
I am the last person who wants to be touched by anyone but if it will possibly save my life and thus have the potential to heighten my dismal quality of living,I deem it "crucially necessary."
----------------------------
Try to be as upfront as possible with your doctor; I would hate for you to wait a year or so from now and they say that you have reached the "terminal" stage.

You owe it to yourself; please reconsider.

Take care and God Bless.

Phoenix
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Old 09-30-2007, 05:11 AM   #4
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

hey guys. thanks for replying. ive thought about having 'those' exams but i physically dont think i could stay in the room, my doc has checked self harm before, there was a lot of squirming and it was difficult not to push her away with my hands. it kills me for weeks afterwards, sometimes i know its stupid but no matter how sick i am i seem to just put one foot infronmt of the other when im aroind people, then alone i just collapse.

im hoping she can just tell me what to eat-but i highly doubt thatll be it. i dont know if i could do tests, any tests cant be done 'down there'-ist there any other possible way they could find anything out or illiminate causes before having to examine 'down there'???

i know its just me looking after me at the core of it-but im rubbish at it, but im not being difficult, ive told my doc this a few times-im not being difficult on purpose or to be annoying, i really am petrified of these things.

im sort of bracing myself. im booking the app on monday i was thinking of writing bullet points of the symptoms and handing them to her. im extremley wary of the mucous part though! i may wait if she asks about stools. ill maybe put a bit in about testing-that i dont like it

you know i really wish i was like my freind, she doesnt care, she goes to the doc and just strips off and lets everyone touch her, she gets smear tests and std tests done with no anxiety at all i just cannot.

xx
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken

 
Old 09-30-2007, 05:31 AM   #5
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Kerry,
Dont feel badly about this.....you are by no means alone when it comes to being afraid of these kinds of tests. They make alot of people very anxious!!!!
I think giving your doctor a list of symptoms is a good idea. But Kerry, listen hon....if you dont tell her "everything"...it's like you're handing her a 100 piece puzzle, with only 90 pieces. She cant completely do her job without ALL the information hon! "Mucous" is "NOTHING" to a doctor.
I'm not sure what type of tests she'll do.....but at your first appointment, she will probably just press on your stomach....
Remember if you go through some tests, they are because someone is trying to "help" you, not "hurt you". If you dont get things checked out, you could end up with something more serious than worrying about a test. I'm not trying to frighten you Kerry, I'm sure it is something that she can help you with.....I know you are not eating well these days. But not eating well, and looking after yourself, could be very well catching up with you. Perhaps you just need some medication...but you need to find out sweetie.
I promise to check in with you every day Kerry if you make that appointment, so you'll have someone to talk to, okay?
Love, Caroline xo

 
Old 09-30-2007, 06:56 AM   #6
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pucca_chick View Post

i know its just me looking after me at the core of it-but im rubbish at it, but im not being difficult, ive told my doc this a few times-im not being difficult on purpose or to be annoying, i really am petrified of these things.

im sort of bracing myself. im booking the app on monday i was thinking of writing bullet points of the symptoms and handing them to her. im extremley wary of the mucous part though! i may wait if she asks about stools. ill maybe put a bit in about testing-that i dont like it

you know i really wish i was like my freind, she doesnt care, she goes to the doc and just strips off and lets everyone touch her, she gets smear tests and std tests done with no anxiety at all i just cannot.

xx
Dear PC,

You are going to "protect" yourself into a gurney and hospital bed for sure, if this keeps up.

Excessive mucous is never a good sign, when we are referring to stool production.

This is where trust is going to play a key role; you need to believe that she has your best interest at heart and that is the only reason that these tests are being performed.

Life is a series of tests: there's the academic, medical and what I call the "situational."

Yours is "medically situational."
---------------------------------
If further testing is medically necessary, then do the research on the specified test/s to be performed.

This way you will know what to expect and by all means ask questions.

Take care and God Bless

Phoenix
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Old 09-30-2007, 08:08 AM   #7
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

if i was able to cry id be bawling like an enromous overgrown newborn i HATE these problems-why me???!!!

im thinking i will need to do this one small step at a time and possibly my anxiey will be lessened iof i just get talking to her-she has a way of speaking softley and really engaging me.

i was thinking today i should up te appointment to wednesday, things are bad. not even toilet wise-but ive slept until 1:00 today, was up for an hour and went back to bed. i ran out of fags and walked to the shop and almost passed out and threw up. im actually concerned my body will give up from exhuastion. im terrified now of things i cant control. ik absolutley exhausted and havent washed, but i am eating, but things are uninteresting and its only stuff like bread.

thanks guys it means a lot you helping me. come to think of it its probably about time everything caught up with me-ive been very lucky so far.
xx
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken

 
Old 09-30-2007, 09:33 AM   #8
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pucca_chick View Post
if i was able to cry id be bawling like an enromous overgrown newborn i HATE these problems-why me???!!!

im thinking i will need to do this one small step at a time and possibly my anxiey will be lessened iof i just get talking to her-she has a way of speaking softley and really engaging me.

i was thinking today i should up te appointment to wednesday, things are bad. not even toilet wise-but ive slept until 1:00 today, was up for an hour and went back to bed. i ran out of fags and walked to the shop and almost passed out and threw up. im actually concerned my body will give up from exhuastion. im terrified now of things i cant control. ik absolutley exhausted and havent washed, but i am eating, but things are uninteresting and its only stuff like bread.

thanks guys it means a lot you helping me. come to think of it its probably about time everything caught up with me-ive been very lucky so far.
xx
Dear PC,

The unfortunate answer to "why me" is because it is your turn.(let me explain)

Your turn to stand up to the plate; in the face of adversity.

We all have our turn and I believe that you have it in you to persevere.
------------------------------
If the doctor has to talk you through any testing, then by all means keep that open as an option.
------------------------------
Moving the appointment date up is a good idea as you are now exercising your choices (this is a good thing).
------------------------------
Did you know that smoking can only further complicate problems, when it comes to gastrointestinal concerns?
------------------------------
The thing about luck is that it eventually runs out; please do something before this happens.

I'm praying for you.

Take care and God Bless.

Phoenix
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Old 10-01-2007, 05:22 AM   #9
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Pucca, can you tell the doc about your fears of being examined? I agree with Caroline and Ryan here, you must get this checked out and tell her everything! Do you like yogurt? Yogurt is VERY GOOD for GI problems. You need to eat it almost every day.

Carsam, hi!, thanks for covering for me! Can you also check on Zed through-out the month?

 
Old 10-01-2007, 05:34 AM   #10
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

hi sannah! hope your having a nice time

im terrified, i made an app for friday i wrote out the list and all, but im still scared not to mention mortified. today i feel sick, my tummy isnt to bad right now, havent eaten much-but i had bread, i eat a lot of bread which is why i dont get why i wouldnt have enough fibre. im thinking of what my diet is. when i think of it, a typical day is up early, have two bits of toast, sometimes though i cant finish it. i then get an upset tummy for a good while, then i get hungry even if i feel sick, im exhausted so i usually try and get a hot drink cos i can get energy without swallowing food, it usually has milk in it and it really gives me a bad tummy and sometimes D. the rest of the day im uncomfortable and feel clogged up and like its all lying in me swirling about. then towards the evening i feel better, but you know i cant find food im interested in, i dont really finish stuff, i tend to eat bits of things throughout the day, i seem to get cravings for chocolate stuff but then only have bits of it and chuck the rest out. at night, i usually have toast for dinner ot something like that, maybe noddles,i used to eat chicken but i lost interest. then i sleep a lot, i wake up hungry or something and eat...toast again.

a lot of other foods give me an upset tummy. i know i should eat a yogurt but sometimes the thought of putting food in my motyh and swallowing makes me feel sick, even if im hungry.

what do you think??? im scared of what she will ask, do or say to me

xx
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken

 
Old 10-01-2007, 05:39 AM   #11
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Pucca, (I leave tomorrow) if you are only eating bread this is not the healthiest diet. You aren't getting protein and if the bread is white there isn't much fiber. A balanced diet is the best (I know it is probably hard to eat anything). How long have you only been eating breads/pastas?

 
Old 10-01-2007, 05:49 AM   #12
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

yep i know its just hard when i cant make myself eat the other things. i usually only eat brown bread and stuff. but ive been on the pasta and bread for as long as i can remember. when i did that thing were i didnt eat years ago it was a big source of my food, it was all i ate really-that and chicken. then the chicken went. i dont just eat bread now cos im on a diet, i eat it cos its the only food i really tolerate and feel i want to eat-thats not really expensive and bad for me.

should i mention to the doc how long ive ben eating the bread and pasta thing. im by no means underweight though and i dont exercise, i just sleep really.

xx
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken

 
Old 10-01-2007, 05:54 AM   #13
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Pucca, tell your doc everything. So you don't eat any fruits or vegies? I am glad that you are eating brown bread. Grains are what you need to eat the most of but the other stuff is very important too.

 
Old 10-01-2007, 06:01 AM   #14
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

yep its good i eat brown bread-at least its healthy. i dont eat much veg-i dont like it, dont like the textures sometimes(makes me heave), i dont eat fruit really-i like grapes though. and i try and drink pure orange juice-but that also gives me tummy upset and D.

when i look back ive always been funny. as a child i couldnt watch anyone else eat-i couldnt eat my lunch in school cos id heave and actualy almost vomit. i used to throw my lunch in the bin o my garden at home lol.

do you think this is significant-when i was 5 i had a dairy intolerance, i had really horrible stomach problems and D,but then it just went away randomly-should i mention this??

xx
__________________
My hands are small
i know
But theyre not yours, they
are my own
But theyre not yours,
they are my own
And i am never broken

 
Old 10-01-2007, 06:16 AM   #15
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Re: CARSAM/SANNAH-help!!!!!

Pucca, when my youngest daughter was a baby we couldn't feed her fruit because she couldn't digest the sugars and the sugars would then go into her colon and pull in water through osmosis, resulting in diarrhea. We gave her some acidophilus (what is in yogurt) and some digestive enzymes. After a few months she could then eat fruit again. She had bad normal flora in her gut which caused inflammation and then decreased digestive enzymes. The acidiphilus helped her normal flora so then the inflammation went down and her own digestive enzymes started working again.

Yes, I would tell the doc the whole history of your tummy troubles.

 
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