Antidepressants and No Motivation - Need help
So far, every med that I've taken for depression seems to result in me having ZERO motivation (actually more like minus something if that's possible). This is both at home and at work. I do the bare minimum to get by, and sometimes not even that. I've taken in the past - Lexapro both alone and then with Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin made me kind of antsy and angry, so that was replaced with Provigil, which looking back, seemed to be the combo that worked best for me so far. Then I started to feel better, so didn't renew my scripts....needless to say I ended up in my doctor's office in tears and he started me back on Cymbalta this time. While some of the sadness and angry feelings I had with my depression have been moderated, I am a total slug. I just don't care enough about anything to give it my attention for any length of time. I feel tired and like everything is a chore, whether it's physically or mentally, I just have no motivation.
I am 41 and a married full time working mom of 2 young kiddos, age 6 and 3. My 3 year old has had health problems in the last year and a half, which is what made me decide to see a psychiatrist in the first place, because I knew I needed to get it together for her. I don't feel like I've succeeded in doing this yet, though.
Before my depression, I was always a go-getter and high achiever. I enjoyed keeping a nice house and took pride in how I decorated it. Same with my work....I was always the go-to person. Now I feel like I just want to stay under the radar and collect my check.
I'm just wondering who else has struggled with this, and if I will ever be able to find a med that doesn't have this side effect for me. Or is this something that I just will have to deal with and somehow summon up the motivation?