Warning this is Depressing - Depression Message Board

MT10149 · 12-28-2007, 04:40 PM

Hello all. I got to get this off my chest and see if anyone can empathsize with what I go through.

I am 41 and have been disabled for the past 15 years. I had caught a cold that got worse very fast and turned into respitory illness along with high with 106 fever. I was eventually diagnosed as having enchephalitis. That is the brain swells due to high fever. Problem is the skull dont swell with it. I was told that significant brain damage is rare. But for me as a result of my illness I am now deaf, have low vision, bad balance, coordination and severe pain in my legs from the awkward way I walk.

I have depression quite severe. Mainly I feel cut off from everyone (because of my hearing). My wife does'nt seem to understand that I need to know what is happening to her and our kids (who are now grown). WHen I ask about something I get a short reply like, they're ok.

I guess I must point out that I feel as though I am not well liked, by everyone. I feel like I could die and nobody would miss me at all.

My youngest daughter has something wrong with her also. She gets siezures and complains of being tired. But the doctors dont seem to know what is wrong. They might know but I dont so I worry about her alot. She has a 3 year old and can't take care of her at all. Anyway there is more but I will wait to see if anyone wants to hear anymore.

Thanks Mark

Marywoo · 07-13-2008, 02:26 AM

Hi mark,your right it is very depressing,but in know way is your fault.you had no control over this situation,your wife and kids are probably trying to protect you,and by doing so do not realize they are shutting you out.i just want to tell you iam so sorry,sometimes people imotionally shut down iam sure if your wife and kids knew how you felt they would try and include you more.i dont blame you for being depressed,that happens to the best of us,just wanted to let you know you are not alone and there are people that care just as your wife and children do but are showing it in a different way,i really hope things improve for you,maybe if they read your post they would wake up and realize they are not purposely shutting you out but shutting you out none the less.i hope you feel beter. marywoo

hope for peace · 07-15-2008, 05:33 AM

<removed> For some reaseon people don't think not hearing is a big deal. It is weird people will go immediately to get glasses but not hearing aids. Helen keller wrote if she had to chose one thing she would rather be blind then deaf because being deaf cuts you off from people. I don't know our finacial situation but can you afford hearing aids or is there a program in your state to help.. also look up articles on hearing loss and show them to your family sothey can see how it affects you and your ability tohave relationships.

katlin09 · 09-27-2008, 12:54 AM

Have you ever researched the Kochler Implants? And if you would like to tell us the rest of your story we'd be pleased to read it.

podiecat · 10-16-2008, 10:00 AM

Hi Mark,

I am 55, very alone, and also have hearing loss as well as other health issues. I had 106 fevers three times in my life. I'm severely depressed and have been for four years. I understand how completely isolating it is to not be able to follow conversations. I had always been shy but had a very funny quick humor - it went with the hearing. I work so hard to follow conversation that I forget it all. People don't have patience - I've lost my friends and my family due to my depression and have not been able to beat it no matter what. I had always used physical exercise and creativity to deal with angst - my creativity left with the first menopausal hot flash four years ago and every time I try to do something physical, I pay for it.....

I had paid $5000 for hearing aids and it was for nothing - I could not understand with them. Cochlear implants are not for everyone and certainly can be harsh in cost and the adjustment for the few who they are a possibility for..

I really do understand..... carol