help feel all alone - Depression Message Board

cag8582 · 01-13-2008, 01:40 PM

I can not stand it anymore I have kept this all inside of me for months. I have a son & wife who will no longer speak to me and a brother and sister in law who know everything I have been divorce almost 10 years it was abusive. I have done NOTHING since my divorce last fall I met this guy who I thought was a great guy my age(55) and we dated 6-7 times I was finally coming out of my depression we went out and had a nice time, nov.13 2006 we went christmas shopping all of the sudden out of no place he get mad and says let go, we get to his truck and he pushed me down and grabed my arms and tied them in back of me, on the way home I was crying he pulls over throws me out and raped me.spare you the details but brings me home and throws me to the ground untied me and said if I told anyone he would be back. I live alone I ran for the house locked myself in the garage I do not remember much after that.I remember taking a shower and scrubed till my arms were bleeding. the next day I called my doctor who said to come right in. did some tests but it was to late for the rest. reported it to the police told them what happened ( lie) they blew holes right threw my story. I amitted I lied and they gave me a court apearance which was dropped. jan. 17 2007 I tryed to kill myself ended up in the hospital for 18 days and lived with my sister for 5 months. returned home late May. long- short is that my son and brother and their wifes never saw me till I came home. they all believe I"m still telling a lie that nothing ever happened my sister in law told me I had to be held accountable for my lies I told the truth and she still till this day says it never happened. and so my son & brother believe her and will not talk to me till I come clean and say it didn't happen and will not talk to me...... I am going to counseling 2x a week and being treated for major depression.

. I can't beleave this is happened to me I need help and they turn on me. the rest of the family and my parents saw what I'm going throught and are there for me. I need some one to talk to when I'm down I have shut out friends and I just went back to work. after being out a year. but keep to myself. since all this happened my parents have talked to them and my sister in law say I'm telling a bold face lie... a fight happened and my parents want nothing to do with any of them the rest of the family upset and has been here for me. but the pain hurt so bad. the counselor says my sister in law needs help. I have given everything to my counselor who has seen the medical reports. and I go to rape counseling 2 x a month. HELP

JennaBK25 · 01-14-2008, 01:19 PM

I understand everything you are going through. I was in an abusive relationship, he thought that whenever he wanted sex he was going to get it now matter what the situation. He always said the most horrible things to me..."you’re fat," "you’re nothing without me," "you’re a ****," every possible horrible thing that anyone can say to a person. Whenever I make the chance to get out he'd hit me, over and over and over.

Finally some of my friends helped me and got all of things out of the house and I escaped.

I've been seeing a counselor for about two years now and on meds for the same length of time. It's going to take a while...but you are going to through this.

Hang in there....Good Luck

bellablue2 · 01-14-2008, 01:25 PM

Dear lord that is horrible. I wish you all the luck. You know that what happened to you did happen, so just remember that.

Sorry

JennaBK25 · 01-14-2008, 01:39 PM

The part that still bothers me to this day was that he was my college sweeheart and he had a completely 360 degree change...

so just be careful