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Old 01-23-2008, 05:28 PM   #1
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Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

This is my first time on here in a while. I've never been lucky in love! I've dated people who always found a way to hurt me. Or I've been interested in those who have found a way to hurt me. I had a major crush on a guy that goes to my gym. About a year and a half ago, I randomly found him on *******.com. I sent him a message never intending on letting him know who I was. I finally get the nerve to send a pic and introduce myself at the gym. It ends up he went to high school with my best friend's husband. He is also related to my best friend's husband's sister. So this isn't like some random guy, there are degrees of separation between us. We spoke online sometimes and chatted at the gym. I got the nerve and offered him my number but he told me he wasn't looking to meet anyone at the time. Of course I felt rejected but had no choice but to move on. We would still say hi at the gym. I started to see him less and less before not seeing him at all. Keep in mind this was a year ago. My landlord is getting some work done on her house. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up to my apartment to find Brian (gym guy) doing the work on her house with his cousin. My face must have been priceless. I've always asked God to send me messages about my lovelife and why things happen. Let's take a few steps back...in high school I fell in love with Pat who loved my high school best friend. Of course he came to me with his problems but ran to her when he came home from the Marines. While out at a bar years ago, I met Jonathan. Jonathan messed with my head for a while. Guess what? We know the same people also. A few years later, I was supposed to be set up with my friend's husband's friend. This is the same husband that knows Brian. Of course I fell for the wrong friend. Joe and I dated, shared depression and he up and left me for a bong and his boys. Then there was Kevin, who I met at a close family friend's wedding. We dated for a month later him to bail without an explanation..still to this day. Last year I hit it off with Craig, who I ended up being partners with in a wedding this summer. Yeah he played with my head too. In the beginning of this school year, I was set up with Phil (also through a good friend) who phoned me everyday for over a month but we always had difficulty getting together. He gave too many excuses and stopped calling when I wouldn't change my plans. Ok...more recent. My school principal is attempting to set me up with her friend's nephew. He got my number a few weeks ago and has yet to call. Ok...now back to Brian. So now Brian knows exactly where I live. Also keep in mind we know the same people. So I'm laying on my couch the other day. He walks up the walkway and finds a way to wave in my door. I was telling my landlord the story. She proceeds to tell me how she knows his family and he has a great family. His cousin knocks on my door to talk to my landlord. She starts asking him questions (I didn't ask her to) about Brian. His cousins reponds to her questions but looks at me. So I guess Brian told him the whole deal about how we know each other. He tells my landlord that Brian is single. So I don't see him tonight but he contacts me online. We talk for a few before ending the convo. My landlord then calls to say she found out he is living with someone, his family hates her. DOES GOD LIKE TO TORTURE ME? I'm sitting here a ball of tears! My friends husband says he's a loser. What I don't get is did Brian think I wouldn't find out? Am I that pathetic? What's his point? Is he unhappy in his relationship and is now wondering why he's met up with me again? I'm sure wondering why I met up with him again. I was thrilled when he contacted me tonight. Within 10 minutes I was hysterical to find about his girlfriend. HELP ME!!!

 
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Old 01-24-2008, 04:25 PM   #2
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

reading that post was like reading about my love life!
nothing ever seems to stick, its all 5 minute wonders if that!
im giving up even bothering with people at the moment if they want me they know where to find me and if they are lucky i met get back to them!
what im trying to say is my mentallity is to start looking after number one i know for a fact they would be lucky to have a guy like me and if they let me go thats thier problem!
im just being confident and starting to like myself and it will find me when the times right!
Just leave it and if he likes you he will come to you, he knows you are interested so leave it with him!

im not the best at advice but i hope in someway that might help!

 
Old 01-26-2008, 06:34 AM   #3
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

I appreciate your response. I went from being excited when he contacted me online. Then within 10 minutes it felt like someone knocked my legs out from under me that he is living with someone. I'm about to head to the gym. With my luck I'll start seeing him again there. It's all so frustrating!

 
Old 01-28-2008, 06:44 AM   #4
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

Hi Happy. Desperation is never good. Do you think that your life will only be complete with a bf? If the answer is yes, this is one reason why desperation is never good. Most people want to be with someone who is happy with who they are, where they are at. Another reason is that life is best when it is enjoyed in the moment. If you are always waiting for something in the future to happen to make your life complete is is always a race for the prize and you might find yourself looking back from an older age wishing that you would have lived your life long ago. Just a rant because I had to learn to live in the moment and it was one of the best things that I ever did.

 
Old 01-28-2008, 04:30 PM   #5
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

I'm sorry you have had to go through all of this! You know.. I think some of us just get a LOT of challenges to go through life, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I bet you have learned a LOT from these guys! I feel like my depression has taught me a lot and I've learned to be a sensitive and understanding person to my friends from it. I used to hurt myself as well and I feel like in the end it's made me a stronger person. Sure, I wish that never happened, but it's helped me learn how to deal with my feelings in a positive way instead of hurting myself.

I think right now you need to focus on YOU and not a new guy! Just enjoy your life on your own and the right guy will come when it's meant to happen. Let him come to YOU and don't try too hard. I found my boyfriend when I wasn't looking. Everytime I tried to find a good boyfriend, something happened. Just focus on making your own self happy and doing things that make you happy and it will happen on its own. Good luck to you!

 
Old 01-28-2008, 07:50 PM   #6
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

oh H-E double hockey sticks noooo! you did not make that your title!
do not blame depresseion on God. God doesn't want to hurt anybody or make anybody miserable. Its our decisions our lifestyle, our family history that pretty much causes us to become depressed. See a doctor and talk about antidepressents and think of ways to make a change for the better. But please don't blame God. Your blaming the wrong person for the wrong reason.

 
Old 01-30-2008, 01:48 PM   #7
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovejoaquim View Post
oh H-E double hockey sticks noooo! you did not make that your title!
do not blame depresseion on God. God doesn't want to hurt anybody or make anybody miserable. Its our decisions our lifestyle, our family history that pretty much causes us to become depressed. See a doctor and talk about antidepressents and think of ways to make a change for the better. But please don't blame God. Your blaming the wrong person for the wrong reason.
Totally agree with you! God does these things for reasons... he isn't trying to mess things up for you. Maybe it's a sign that now is NOT the right time to settle down.

 
Old 01-31-2008, 05:39 AM   #8
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Re: Why Does God Like to Torture Me?

Well as an atheist you may not want to hear my opinion but you might as well listen because it might help. Your post was really long and mentioned alot of names (do alot of you know eachother in person on here?) but your title pretty much explained what your problem. When I was faced with the "problem of evil" I had alot of questions too. This didnt cause me to immediately become an atheist but it sure backed it up. But I'm guessing you want to keep your faith. So look at it this way; do you worship and sadistic god? of course not but youve obviously had some bad luck, and you got to help yourself through it like they say "god helps the ones who can help themselves." try to work through your problem and try to worship a decent god

Last edited by mentalhealth mod; 01-31-2008 at 06:55 AM. Reason: stick to depression related issues that effect all users and not personal spiritual beliefs

 
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